Wait! Don't Jump from That Bridge Until We Get To It (Mykel Board's Dec Blog)

 YOU'RE STILL WRONG.. 

MYKEL'S DEC. 2020 BLOG

OR

FUCK YOU 2020!

by Mykel Board

The top people in the Pentagon probably aren't happy with me because they want to do nothing but fight wars so all of those companies that make the bombs and make the planes and make everything else stay happy. --Donald Trump

Spread the faith. God love you all. May God bless America and may God protect our troops. --Joe Biden

I limp to the post office in my brand new foot-steadying surgical shoe… the foot in that shoe wrapped in a “soft cast’... my daily 4+ mile walks on hold while some toe-connecting nerve repairs itself. My goal for now: cut down to 2 miles a day. That’s gonna be hard. Monday I walked 7 miles.

FLASH TO MONDAY: I walk across the George Washington Bridge... from Washington Heights, Manhattan to Fort Lee, New Jersey. The GWB is the only bridge in Manhattan that goes to another state. I walk… hugging the right side… dodging cyclists.

A metal netting covers the bridge… from street level to higher than anyone can climb. It’s clearly a late addition… a normal/jumpable railing –now unreachable– lays like an artifact, on the far side of the mesh.

About half-way across the bridge... a public-service poster… Suicide Prevention Hotline. It makes me smile.

Here it is! Oooo lala! Ft. Lee... famous for its Korean food… cheaper and better than Manhattan. I look around. No one’s on the sidewalk. Outdoor tables are empty.

To my left: apartment buildings. To my right: something restaurant-looking… a red building with a few unlit Christmas lights. I cross the wide road from the bridge and follow it to the building: FRANCO’S ITALIAN. It’s closed. Chairs upside down on the tables inside.

I ask Google to find the nearest Korean Restaurant.

“Back to the bridge,” she tells me.

I shudda turned left.

Back I go, following the Google map. Turn left where I’d turned right... past more closed restaurants… Very few people walk the sidewalks. None look Korean. The shells of ethnic restaurants stick out like bones in a famine victim. It’s worse than New York… dark in the afternoon… a few tables outside… empty and forlorn in the fading light. It’s creepy.

Right here! Says the black dot in the red Google-balloon. There is indeed a restaurant. It says Chinese. I walk in. All the signs are in Hangul. I figure it’s gotta be Korean-style Chinese. I figure right. Mmmm boy!

Stir fry… enough to take some home… served Korean style, where one dish gets you half a dozen dishes, pickles, kimchi, mystery vegetables in little plates of their own… all spiced enough to make you feel the burn. I order something stir fried... best restaurant meal of the year. I pack up what I can’t finish... leave my credit card next to the empty plate… Put on my trenchcoat...

POW! One… two… three... punch to the gut. I the spice burn through every inch of my large intestine… building brown… trying to force its way out of my 70-year loosened sphincter. Pow! Off to the men’s room. There is no men’s room… just one restroom with one toilet. I flip the light switch. Nothing happens. With the door closed, I feel randomly for the toilet. Ah, there it is… Yes! Yes! Yes! I just make it… Hitting the bowl… missing the floor… I hope.

FLASH TO RIGHT NOW: A line of masked millennials winds itself down Broadway to Bleecker, then down the long block to Lafayette Street. Then it curls around Lafayette… goes halfway up the block.

I’m used to the lines. There’s a sneaker shop where Adidas and Nike release their newest scams to a waiting line of fanatics and eBay resellers. It’s a hobby... New Yorkers love to stand on line... especially 20-somethings. (For those of you off the East Coast… here we stand ON line… not IN line!) For those waiting, a long line shows the place is good… worth waiting for. Yep, waiting itself shows it’s worth the wait. These are the breadlines of the old Soviet Union… the welfare lines of the Great Depression… recast... upscale.

Today the wait is for City MD, an “Urgent Care” clinic. Usually it’s where people with lousy insurance go so they don’t have to pay hundreds for a hospital waiting room. Today they wait for a free COVID-19 test. Mostly masked, somewhat less than socially distant.. the cellphone-reading chirps stand there for two hours to have their noses stuck with a wooden stick. In half a week they find out if they’ve got it or not?

Whoa…. Let me see if I’ve got that right. People who think they may have the plague wait on line with other people who think they may have the plague, creating a mini-mob. The nose-scrapers test the crowd and then find… surprise!… a higher percentage has the plague than was recorded before the free testing. And tomorrow... there’ll be even more.

What a surprise? A line of people who think they have the disease turns out to produce more people who actually do have the disease. Shocking! And what does that mean? LOCKDOWN RETURNS… Restaurants close… the fear grows. More folks wait on line to be tested.

My pal Troy tells me, in Japan, there are more suicides than Corona deaths. In the US, people are to afraid to kill themselves. Instead, New Yorkers engage in their favorite line-waiting activity to learn in a few days… that they didn’t have the disease a few days ago… but might have caught it by now and should stand on line again next week... for another test.

Meanwhile, bars and restaurants close at 10PM… and those who can’t pay their vacancy expenses… commit mom-and-pop-store-suicide. My favorite midtown Irish bar… and my favorite midtown izakaya… both dead from Covid… make that Covid FEAR.

I tell ya, I want to jump off a bridge… or at least move to Japan.

I write this November 21^st. Donny Trump is still protesting the election. Frankly, I’d (slightly) prefer a Trump president to one who gets his funds from banks and the big drug companies. I’d prefer one with a vice president who keeps his door open when he’s with a woman, but closes it when he’s with another guy… to one who’s a cop. But it looks like Biden it will be.

In that case, he has a tough decision to make. He’s either got to pardon Trump of all crimes and get on with his HEALING THE NATION shtick… or he’s got to let the bloodlust go kablooey… satisfy the revenge-seekers... the ghouls… the vampires.

My bet’s on the “healing.” Joe Biden is Mr. Normal. He’s another old white guy who’ll keep things going just the way they used to go... nothing new or upsetting here… everything just like it was before. He’ll “re-engage America with the world.” That means dropping bombs on our “enemies” and giving weapons to our “friends.” That means Bill Clinton-like NAFTA and other “business partnerships,” making American consumers happy with cheap goods from those nice guys in China.

We’ll see a few nods to the cultural left. Some statues torn down... names changed, maybe some funds to convert mental health rescue from a police action to a… er…. mental health action. That would be a good thing. Maybe we’ll see a national Bad Cops Registry. I’m not sure about that one.

Gays and lesbians will be just normal every-day guys and gals. They’ll be able to protest homeless people begging in the neighborhood… adopt kids to send to private schools… on vouchers… give spouses the gift of shared insurance so their visit to “a specialist,” will only cost them $80.

Laws will pass creating and requiring new pronouns. The next billionaire will be transsexual… employing hundreds of thousands of people… at minimum wage. Biden will refill the prisons emptied by Trump. And the Democrats will cheer him on… The Republicans will call him “a socialist” and “soft on crime.”

And so 2021 will continue. You know a bridge without wire fencing?

- end -

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at god@mykelboard.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Send me an email with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. Back blogs and columns are at https://mykelsblog.blogspot.com

→ Proactive Interference Dept: At the end of October, the New York Times reported (since updated) that Big Tech had plans if Trump lost the election and tried to “delegitimize the results.”

According toThe Times, Facebook has discussed a “kill switch” to shut off political advertising after Election Day, since the ads, which Facebook does not police for truthfulness, could be used to spread misinformation….YouTube and Twitter have also discussed plans for action if the post-election period becomes complicated.

Nothing like a well-thought-out preventative plan in detail to show there’s no conspiracy. Right?

 → New Normal Dept: The oddest thing about this real-life picture of a warning sign in Alberta Canada is that it’s not so odd. During the complete weirditude that is 2020, you’d just figure that somehow moose tongues spread the plague. Makes as much sense as standing in line with sick people for a COVID test, doesn’t it?

→ Remains of Bidet Dept: Cracked.com reports: The toilet paper shortage is causing more than just the obvious issues. Cities are concerned that people flushing non-toilet paper items like paper towels could royally overload sewer systems. Bidets are the most obvious solution to the lack of TP issue, and Amazon is selling out of them like crazy.

Then they predict: Once the hordes lust for butt paper is satisfied, and we have a stable toilet paper supply line again, lots of people are still going to have bidets. We're going to discover that they're not as scary and European as we initially thought and why uninstall one when the next toilet paper shortage could happen at any time?

Funny... because right now, the only public bidets I know in NYC are in the basement of The Japan Society. I have to admit, they are fun. And they’re adjustable so I bet girls find a special use for that hard spray! It’s all in the plumbing. Oh yeah!

→ Cancel culture redux dept: Thanks to my long-term pal, Jim Testa, for this from NJ.com. It seems that a local Starbucks fired a woman because she refused to wear a (gay) Pride T-shirt. Instead, she wore her usual uniform, saying the t-shirt violated her religious beliefs.

Betsy Fresse, of Newark, said her managers at the Glen Ridge Starbucks “assured her” that she didn’t have to wear the T-shirt during her shift. Two months later she was sent a notice that she was being cut for “acting in violation of Starbucks’ core values.”

Fresse said that being made to wear a Pride T-shirt as a condition of employment would be tantamount to forced speech and inaccurately show her advocacy of a lifestyle in direct contradiction to her religious beliefs.

She also filed a complaint with the U.S. Equal Opportunity Employment Commission, which said it was unable to conclude one way or another if Starbucks engaged in religious discrimination.

I say, it’s the next frontier. Not only the corporate censorship so loved by the new intolerants, but FORCED speech. I can understand a uniform saying whatever management wants as a condition of employment… but then a quick switch with out warning? No fuckin’ way!

What? Boss? I have to wear an I HEART BILL CLINTON t-shirt to work???? Are you kidding?

See you in hell,
MB

LINK TRADE DEPARTMENT:

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends and enemies in their blogs. So facebook me or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you. You add me.

Here's a start:

Here’s Richard Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com

Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency

And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out Yesterday's Recipes.

Rock-writer and historian extraordinaire, Jim Testa, has continued his great zine online. Jersey Beat is still going!

And here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour diary of sorts.

Andy Shelton has an interesting blog here.

Savage Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.

Chris Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS. You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue soon.

George Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books featured prominently. If there’s no link here (I can’t find it temporarily), then Google… er… Duckduckgo him for information.

And my long-term pal Sid Yiddish contributes with his Mishegas Master Blog.

And connect to TRUST Zine, a long-running German punk zine… that STILL PRINTS!!! Yeah, they have a website too… of course! It’s here.

Here are a couple video links.

This from Jon Cox https://squelchchamber1.bandcamp.com/album/down-so-low

And this one from my very long-time friend Roger Armstrong.

Jim Testa moved his long running zine, Jersey Beat, to the blogosphere awhile back. You can read it here. Jim also recommended a kind of unique album… in a style you don’t see to much of these days… or any days. Neo-Hassidic Rock Opera. You can stream the album here.

Kyle Nonneman is in prison in Portland. At least he can’t be kidnapped by the secret police… I think. I post his blog for him, he can’t do it from the klink. Lots of stuff about noise metal… and some very weird politics that will either fascinate or repulse you… or both.

Oh yeah, then there’s me. I have a blog of stuff I’ve written mostly from last century. You might enjoy it. Then again, you might not. It’s here.

I have a very occasional blog about how rich people are just like us… same needs, same desires, you know. You can read it here.

Let me know if you have a blog… or a print zine… or a YouTube and want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already seen mine. god@mykelboard.com

You're Still Wrong, Mykels Aug. 2020 Blog Vol 2: WHAT OLD PEOPLE DO!

 

YOU'RE STILL WRONG.. 

MYKEL'S AUGUST 2020 BLOG

VOLUME 2

OR

WHAT OLD PEOPLE DO

by Mykel Board

In America, the land of the perpetually young, growing old is an embarrassment and dying is seen as a failure. – Harold S. Kushner

Suffering and understanding are deeply connected; death and self-awareness are in league. – Denis de Rougemont

Olivia de Havilland died? What a shame! She was 104 years old… had her whole life behind her. It’s just awful. Such a tragedy.

I know. It’s so sad. And what about that Regis Philbin? 84 years old and poof! Just gone! It’s terrifying. Quick! Close everything NOW!!!! Old people are dying!

And Granny! It was so horrible. She had diabetes, chronic lung infection, pneumonia… and she just died. Can you imagine a woman like that just up and dying?

Flash to small talk: At a wedding party… you meet a young man, full head of hair tight chin under his scruffy beard.

“And what do you do?” you ask…

He answers.

“Oh, still in grad school,” you say, “What are your plans for the next decade or so?”

“Well, after I graduate,” comes the answer, “I think I’ll take a trip around the world. Then, look for a job in an emerging tech company. You never know when Google will be on a buying spree.”

Flash to small talk TWO, same party: an older man. The fringe of hair left is deeply gray... eyebags like a shopping trip to Safeway… wisps of gray beard missed in shaving.

“Ah, grandfather of the bride?” you ask.

He shakes his head. “Of the groom.”

“And what are your plans for the next decade or so?” you don’t ask.

“I plan to die,” he doesn’t say. “That’s what old people do. We die.”

Get it?

We have a panic. The government is asking… sometimes demanding… that everyone change their lives to protect the old and the sick. Society upends. There is more sudden poverty than at any time since the great depression. Why? So that old and sick people don’t die.

I’m pushing 80 years old. I’m a high risker. And I’m going to die! You know? That’s what old people do. That’s what EVERYBODY does. You don’t save lives… the best you can do is postpone death. Does this come as a shock to you?

Why should…

Hey Mykel!

Fuck! I’d know that font anywhere. It’s The Literary Device. Okay, I’ll bite. What the hell do you want?

Where are you going with this? As if I didn’t know. You think, since old people and sick people are going to die anyway, that asking everybody to sacrifice to save them is a worthless sacrifice.

“Worse than worthless,” I answer. “Destructive! We’re harming the many to save those who won’t be saved anyway.”

Think, Mykel... since everyone is going to die anyway, why have lifeguards at beaches… or EMT? You’re not saving anyone, you’re just postponing death.

“First,” I say, “what gives you the right to butt in here anyway. You’re just a literary device… you’re not even human. Second...”

BINGO! That’s exactly what gives me the right. I’m one who WON’T die. Literary devices live forever. That gives me some perspective.

“Shut up!” I yell back. “Second, you have a good point. I should have said that given the way this epidemic goes: You don’t save lives. the best you can do is postpone death… a little. Is it worth it?”

Who are you to judge?

“I’m Mykel fuckin’ Board. That’s who. I have the same right to give my opinion as anyone else. And I hate to see lives wrecked... people afraid to leave their houses... last chance meetings missed... plans destroyed... kids taught that other humans are dangerous and being too close to them will kill those kids… the idea of social followed immediately by the idea of distancing… We’re destroying ourselves to save people who would die soon anyway.”

Young people get the virus… even kids. It’s not just a the sick and the old disease.

“Neither is the flu, the common cold, or e-coli,” I answer, “But most people get over them. Corona is unpleasant for a while, sometimes needs heroic measures, but more than 90% of the people who get it, get over it. In the meantime, people’s lives are ruined –forever– by the fear of it. They won’t get over it. Future generations are ruined by lack of real schooling, lack of human contact, lack of a social life… except for DISTANCING. A $600 –or Trumpian $400– check is not going to fix that.”

So what do you propose? Overwhelm the US healthcare system? It’s the worst in the so-called developed world. You want to make it impossible to treat any other disease than the pile of COVIDS?

“Ah,” I reply, “you’ve hit the problem. We’re fucked from the start by living in such a primitive country. Worst medical system… except for the rich. And that’s a problem… for once in my life... I don’t have an answer to.”

Bingo!

- end -

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at god@mykelboard.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Send me an email with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. Back blogs and columns are at https://mykelsblog.blogspot.com

Had enough yet? dept: There’s a great story (with an awful headline, cut from the picture below) that just reports and doesn’t take sides. It’s so rare to see any balance from anyone these days.

To mask or not to mask… no conclusions. That’s the way it should be.

→ Bird Flew dept: Meaww.com reports that a British man pleaded guilty to having sex with chickens and having his wife film the act. Rehan Baigalong with his wife, Heema Baig, appeared for a hearing before a judge and pleaded guilty to 11 charges including three of performing an act of penetration on chickens.

Funny, fucking a chicken is a criminal offense, but killing one is not. Values anyone?

→ Swine get it right dept: Meanwhile, the Ripley’s site shows us a flu animal that gets it. There are, evidently, dozens of cases where pigs, farmed for their flesh, EAT the farmers. They do a pretty good job. One family reports a farmer’s remains as “his dentures and a few small body parts-- that’s all.” The article does not say if there are records of pigs fucking humans (though it seems to me I’ve seen the 8mm films). I have no idea if it would be legal or not. But if people aren’t allowed to do it to chickens, you’d expect that pigs wouldn’t be allowed to do it to people. You never know, though. If you do it... send me a picture, will ya?

--See you in hell!

LINK TRADE DEPARTMENT:

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends and enemies in their blogs. So facebook me or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you. You add me.

Here's a start:

Here’s Richard Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com

Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency

And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out Yesterday's Recipes.

And here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour diary of sorts.

Andy Shelton has an interesting blog here.

Savage Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.

Chris Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS. You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue soon.

George Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books featured prominently. If there’s no link here (I can’t find it temporarily), then Google… er… Duckduckgo him for information.

And my long-term pal Sid Yiddish contributes with his Mishegas Master Blog.

Here are a couple video links.

This from Jon Cox https://squelchchamber1.bandcamp.com/album/down-so-low

And this one from my very long-time friend Roger Armstrong.

Oh yeah, then there’s me. I have a blog of stuff I’ve written mostly from last century. You might enjoy it. Then again, you might not. It’s here.

Let me know if you have a blog… or a print zine… or a YouTube and want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already seen mine. god@mykelboard.com

You're Still Wrong, June 2020 Volume 1... Every Little Bit

You're Still Wrong, June 2020 Volume 1 or Every Little Bit

YOU'RE STILL WRONG.. 

MYKEL'S JUNE 2020 BLOG

VOLUME 1

OR

EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS

by Mykel Board

NOTE: This was written before the George Floyd murder. You'll get your fill of Floyd in the NEXT Blog.]

Public opinion is always right, especially when it's really idiotic.

--Louis-Ferdinand Celine

There is this notion that is quite popular in the environmental scene that every little bit helps, or 'Think global, act local.' I disagree with that. I think you have to start with how big the solution needs to be to solve the problem and then reason backward from there.

--Boyan Slat

I’m five years old… with Mom, Dad and Gail, my two-year-old sister… at Jones Beach. Usually we go to the North Shore beaches… like Glen Cove. There are no waves there. I guess Mom and Dad think it’s safer. At Jones Beach big waves come rolling in from the ocean. There are no surfers. Maybe surfing hasn’t been invented yet.

People lay on blankets all around us… This is the 1950s. There are bikinis… pretty new things… Mom isn’t wearing one. No, Dad isn’t either. Five year old me is happy to look at the bulges... girl bulges... guy bulges… and just wonder. We have a picnic basket, some cans of coke, some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches... a few Hershey bars. I’m drinking from a new cup Dad bought me. It collapses… telescopes into itself… You can carry it in a pocket. I like to drink from it, and collapse one section at a time as the liquid inside depletes. 

Five year old me likes to look at the water, and the bulging people that go into it. The way they dive… the way their bodies penetrate a wave like a thread into a needle.

Uh oh, something’s wrong. Looks like a teenager… not so far from me… caught in a big wave. I hear calls for help. I run as quickly as my five year old legs allow… back to the beach blanket… back to my pants, next to Mom under the umbrella. I reach into the pocket.

Yes! Here it is... the telescoping cup. I run to the shore with the cup… wade in… take the cup and scoop out water from the ocean. A cupful… run to the sand and dump it out. Then another cupful… run back to the sand.

A crowd grows on shore. A lifeguard pushes through and dives into the water. I can’t see what happens from here on because my father has grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me back to shore and the beach blanket.

“What were you doing out there, Mickey?” he asks. (Yes, that was my childhood nickname.)

“Daddy,” I say, “I was taking water out of the ocean to help the man.”

“That’s crazy,” says Dad. “Don’t you know that you could have been killed… swept into the water by a big wave. Why would you do something like that?”

I can feel the tears coming to my eyes. “You told me to, Daddy,” I cry. “Remember, you said every little bit helps!”

NO IT DOESN’T!

Get it?

We already talked about the self-righteous fallacy that wearing a mask is a little bit that will help keep some sick person from dying. Actually, we need the lifeguard of a decent healthcare system. Instead, we scoop cupfuls of water by wearing some piece of cloth over our face and feeling oh so good about ourselves.

Or we stay home… social distance… destroy small bars and restaurants.. kill the society that keeps people sane… make people afraid to go out to see the doctor. They stay home and their cancer has a chance to metastasize… or they avoid that pain in the chest because it’s probably nothing serious and Corona patients need the hospital more than I do.

But wait, there’s more! What about the people who lost their jobs and die because they can’t afford their medication? What about the NEW homeless… made that way because the lockdown has impoverished them? Somehow, it is selfish to consider these people. Somehow, the business patronizers and the families that urge their loved ones to hug and touch are the bad guys. The stay-at-homers and the mask-wearers are the good guys. Why? Because every little bit helps.

NO, IT DOESN’T!

Recently, Consumer Reports ran an article about recycling. I've been a recycling opponent for some time, preferring not to buy shit in the first place... or at least reUSING rather than spending the energy to haul something away, process it, and then use more energy to distribute and sell it again. My neighbors tsk tsk when I throw my little plastic in the general garbage bin, while they dump their camel hump piles of plastic in the green bin. I’m not doing my part, you see. And every little bit helps.

The reason the public thinks recycling is the answer is that the plastic industry has spent 30 years on multimillion-dollar campaigns saying that.” says the Consumer Reports article. That was absolutely the wrong message. The message should have been: “Don’t use so much plastic in the first place.” Recycling makes you feel good, but it does nothing about the bigger problem of too much plastic in the first place.

Throwing your plastic into the garbage does not help. It just makes garbage. Not buying shit helps. Outlawing plastic shopping bags helps. Refilling your glass shampoo bottle and not drinking water from tiny plastic bottles… THAT helps. But the little act of putting that seltzer bottle in the recycling bin… that does NOT help… except to make you feel better.

HOLD UP! CHANGE OF SCENERY… I have three friends –all girls, interestingly enough… though they wouldn’t want to be called that– who have not fallen victim to social distancing. They don’t believe touching other people is DANGEROUS… you might catch something. The one I’m with now chides me for being so angry.

“Mykel,” she says, “stop the teeth gritting already. Lighten up… look at the leaves on the trees… check out the kids playing in the park… tell jokes… make people laugh.”

“My Jason mask makes people laugh.” I tell her.

 “Yes,” she says, “and it’s a good way to protest the mask bullshit... with a smile…. But your writing. It’s just angry… It’s not funny anymore.”

“Can I smell your twat?” I ask.

“That’s not funny,” she answers, pulling away from me, “and no, you cannot smell my twat.”

“Then it must be your feet,” I say.

“Okay,” she says. “That’s funny.”

We walk together down Broadway toward the financial district. She points out trees, flowers, murals, statues I’ve never seen before. Without car exhausts, you can smell the flowers… and the food smells that waft onto the street from the take-out places. When you have nowhere to be, you can take your time getting there… and enjoy the trip.

We pass an outdoor fruit stand. I didn’t even know they were still allowed. I smell durian. Maybe with all the stay-at-home Wall Streeters, new enterprises, spring up like daisies in an untended lawn.

Besides us, her maskless… me with my Jason mask… a woman with a high-tech face mask, goggles, and rubber gloves carefully picks through the fruit on the stand. She quickly glances at the two of us, then speaks to the stand attendant, an older Chinese guy.

“You know,” she says, speaking through her mask, the next two words in vocal italics, “some people think this whole thing is a joke. They don’t take care. I say, You can’t be too careful.”

“YES YOU CAN!” I shout at her.

Get it?

- end -

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at god@mykelboard.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Send me an email with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. Back blogs and columns are at https://mykelsblog.blogspot.com.

→ Virtual Fans Dept: The NY Times reports that the Seoul soccer club in South Korea was forced to apologize after propping up sex dolls in the seats for its match against Gwangju. "We had tried to add some fun in the no-spectator match," the club explained. "But we have not checked all the details, and that is clearly our fault." Details included the large breasted physiques and sex toy marketer’s logos on the dolls' clothing. The club covered the sucking mouths with surgical masks. That apparently wasn’t good enough. Fans quickly noticed.

→ I can’t even SAY Lamborghini dept: CNN reports that a Utah Highway Patrol officer pulled over a car for "what he thought was an impaired driver." Instead, he found a 5-year-old in the driver's seat. The boy told the trooper he took off in his parents' car after arguing with his mother because she wouldn't buy him a Lamborghini. He told the cop he planned to drive to California to get one for himself. "He only had $3 his wallet," the highway patrolman noted.

→ Just takin’ the pet out dept: Spain has one of the strictest lockdowns in Europe. News 14 reports that in Logrono a man took advantage of the lockdown rules. They make an exception for pet owners, who are allowed to go outside briefly with their pets. The National Police tweeted a photo of the man being arrested for sitting on a city bench holding his pet fish in a fish bowl.

→ Editrix knows best dept: Marlene Wicherski, former half-editrix of the great DC music zine Truly Needy, is the current editrix of my blog. After editing this one she wrote me:
I wonder what you would think of the plastic seltzer bottle recycling being done here (Boston). You toss in your empties and the hospital fashions them into face shields for health workers.

I say… it’s better than a hit in the head. But Corona will disappear. That plastic island in the Pacific will keep getting bigger.

– See you all in hell,

Mykel

LINK TRADE DEPARTMENT:

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends and enemies in their blogs. So facebook me or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you. You add me.

Here's a start:

David Goldberg's Busy Microbes Blog

And another Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com

Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency

And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out Yesterday's Recipes.

And here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour diary of sorts.

Andy Shelton has an interesting blog here.

Savage Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.

Chris Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS. You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue soon.

George Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books featured prominently. If there’s no link here (I can’t find it temporarily), then Google… er… Duckduckgo him for information.

And my long-term pal Sid Yiddish contributes with his Mishegas Master Blog.

AND I've started to receive music and band pages. Take a look at this one sent to me from Jon Cox. Squelch Chamber  

Then there's this from long-time friend, and MRR contributor Roger Armstrong. Double Fisted

I just heard from The Green Party who wanted me to put in a plug for them. Here it is, though somehow I doubt they'll mention me in their campaign literature.

Let me know if you have a blog… or a PRINT zine and want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already seen mine. god@mykelboard.com