Mykel’s Post-MRR Blog
Number ??? June 2019
Making Shit Up
by Mykel Board
Everything was made up by people that were no smarter than you.
--Steve Jobs
I’m tellin’ ya’. I saw it with
my own two eyes. We’re recording the extra tracks for GG’s HATED
Roir cassette. Yeah, the cassette… musta been in 1986. GG insists
on a mic where he can stand and throw himself around. I think Chicken
John is on guitar. Evans is definitely the drummer…. a live
recording. GG is singing “I WANNA FUCK MYSELF. ” At the end of
the song GG screams I WANNA FUCK MYSELF. FUCK MYSELF.
He walks back to Evans and rips a
drumstick out of his hands. Then drops his pants and shoves the
drumstick up his ass. Up and down… back and forth… Splinters
anyone? But that’s not enough… pulling the drumstick out from his
ass, he shits on the floor. Not a splatter shit, but a dogshit shit.
Individual turds… cucumber size… lying stacked like French bread
in a bakery.
But wait! There’s more! One by one,
he picks up those turds and shoves them BACK into his ass. Moving his
stomach like an Indian fakir, he sucks each one back into its ancient
home.
None of that happened. I made it up.
You believed it because you know about GG… and you know about me.
You’ve heard rumors. You want to believe it’s true. That’s what
I want to write about this month. Making shit up.
Making shit up is different from
lying… or maybe it’s a kind of lying. Lying is just saying
something that isn’t true… usually for your own face-saving
benefit.
“The dog must have farted.”
That’s a lie.
Damn, there’s that neighbor’s dog.
I love it… I always keep dog cookies on hand for when it paws the
door and begs to come in. Leaves a slime over my face after licking
me hello. I love her, but she does have poor digestion. Farts up a
storm… the smell lingers in the corners like a nerd at parties…
You never know when it’s going to make an appearance…
That’s making shit up.
There is some creativity in making shit
up. Some extra believability that comes from the surrounding stories.
A novel is making shit up.
Though there are always cries of LIES!
LIES! LIES! in politics, much of it isn’t lies, but people making
shit up.
-
THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE WAS INVENTED TO PRESERVE
SLAVERY
-
IF YOU DON’T VOTE FOR THE DEMOCRAT IN THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION,
YOU’RE VOTING FOR TRUMP
-
DONALD TRUMP SAID THE RACISTS AND NAZIS WHO MARCHED IN CHARLOTTESVILLE VA WERE GOOD PEOPLE
-
SUPPORT FOR GAY MARRIAGE AND TRANSSEXUALS IN THE MILITARY IS
PROGRESSIVE
All that shit is made up. Some is
“inspired by real events” but most of it comes from the same
process that created Alice and the White Rabbit.
Let’s take the Electoral College.
For the non-Americans and I’ll explain.
The
Electoral College is the US
system for deciding the president. Instead of just counting the raw
number of votes for each candidate, there is a group
of electors. More populous
states have more electors than less populous states. Every state,
though, has at least three electors. Alaska has three electors.
California has 55. (NOTE: Alaska was never a slave state.)
The
reason for this system was to give some voice to the rural/farming
states. If elections were decided by pure vote tallies, the populous
states-- with the mega-cities--
would
decide every election. The needs of farmers, ranchers, and small town
dwellers would never be met. A
candidate would
only have
to win the cities to win the elections. Fuck
everyone else. With the
electoral college, Wyoming
doesn’t have a BIG voice (3 electors), but it has a voice. With
direct election, it would not. (Wyoming was never a slave state.)
So where did the idea that the
Electoral College was related to “preserving the rights of slave
states” come from?
In
an article
called,
“The Electoral College was explicitly designed to protect slavery,”
The Raw Story website writes:
In
order to guarantee that the nonvoting slaves could nevertheless
influence the presidential election, Madison favored the creation of
the Electoral College.
The
Convention then accepted the idea of an Electoral College. By this
time the Convention had already agreed to count slaves for
representation under the three-fifths compromise, counting five
slaves as equal to three free people in order to increase the South’s
representation in Congress. Thus, in electing the President the
political power Southerners gained from owning slaves (although
obviously not the votes of slaves) would be factored into the
electoral votes of each state.
Yo, buckaroos! The 3/5 compromise is a
COMPROMISE… get it? It was included to stop an impasse between the
slave states who wanted the entire population counted, and the
non-slave states who didn’t want the slaves counted at all. It was
NOT about preserving the slave states… but only about representing
them. [NOTE: My pal Richard mentioned that, at the time of the Constitutional Convention, EVERY STATE was a slave state. So the idea that the E.C. was created to protect slave states is ipso facto ridiculous!]
The 3/5 compromised decides the NUMBER
of electors in the electoral college. Yes, it is unfair. Counting a
population that can’t vote to decide votes is nasty and wrong. But
that doesn't mean the electoral system should be abolished. Saying
so would be like saying convicts who have served their time are not
(in most places) allowed to vote. That is unfair. But it doesn't
mean that all voting should be abolished.
So while there was a relationship
between slavery and the WAY electors were chosen… the connection
between the electoral college and slavery is just…. well, made up.
And worse, this is 20-fuckin’-19! I can guarantee that in the 2016
election, NO SLAVE STATES were benefited by the electoral college and
they won’t be in 2020. (Actually, they’re ALL slave states… but
that’s another blog.)
Related to this is the incredible
notion that if you don’t vote for the Democrat in the 2020
election “you’re voting for Trump.”
By now, you already know that we have
an Electoral College… and it has a useful function. It may need
some tweaking, but it doesn’t need abolishing. Even if you don’t
agree with that, you know that it won’t disappear before 2020.
The reality is that most states are
either Democratic or Republican. In those states, ALL the electoral
votes will go to the Democrat-- or Republican. It doesn’t matter
how the individual voters vote. NOT voting for the Democrat in New
York… or not voting for the Republican in Alabama… won’t change
the fact that New York’s electoral votes will go to the Democrat
and Alabama’s to the Republican.
I
could vote for my penis, and that would have absolutely no effect on
the outcome of the election (or, for
that matter, on
the outcome of my penis.)
Only in the swing states--
that is the states that change from year to year-- do individual
votes count. Those states are: Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Georgia,
Iowa, Michigan,
Nevada, New Hampshire. North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia
and Wisconsin. About
a quarter of all the states.
Some
of those states
are
BARELY swing states. Arizona, for example, has voted Republican in
nine of the last ten presidential elections. And
Wisconsin has voted Democrat in eight of the last ten elections. Not
very swingin’.
So
if you’re not in a swing state (and nearly ¾ of voters
are not) … not voting Democrat is… well… not voting Democrat.
It is registering a complaint… If anything, it’s a vote for NONE
OF THE ABOVE, and a message to whichever party… I
don’t like the shit you’re throwing at me.
That
is a far cry from voting
for Trump.
That part is completely made up.
Next comes Trump calling the Nazis and
Klansmen of Charlottesville, VA “good people.”
Here’s what happened: A
demonstration was organized in Charlottesville, Virginia. The general
organizing theme was around the removal of statues associated with
the confederacy and southern history during the US Civil war. There
were as many counter-demonstrators as demonstrators. One man drove a
car into the counter-demonstrators, killing one person.
On a news
show, Donald Trump
said the following:
You’re
changing history, you’re changing culture, and you had people –
and I'm not talking about the neo-Nazis and the white nationalists,
because they should be condemned totally – but you had many people
in that group other than neo-Nazis and white nationalists, okay? And
the press has treated them absolutely unfairly. Now, in the other
group also, you had some fine people, but you also had troublemakers
and you see them come with the black outfits and with the helmets and
with the baseball bats – you had a lot of bad people in the other
group too. (Complete text of the
TV interview here.)
On Twitter, Nation Magazine sports
writer, David Zirzin says Condemning Israel is not
anti-Semitic… calling Nazis and White supremacists
“good people” IS anti-Semitic.
I searched for the exact Zirzin quote,
it looks like it was deleted. There were a ton of comments that he
just made it up. It wasn’t his idea, of course, and I don’t
blame him for thinking Trump said Nazis were good people. Lots of
folks believe it, even though it was made up. Trump’s comments, in
fact, CONDEMN neo-Nazis and white nationalists. But that story
doesn’t fit the narrative. So someone just made up the story…
putting the “fine people” together with “neo-Nazis”…
reconstructing the whole speech… making up a new one… and POW!
People believe it.
Now let’s look at the support for
Gay Marriage and Transsexuals in the
military. Supporting these institutions is PROGRESSIVE. While
opposing them is FASCIST.
Is Friedrich Engels FASCIST? As one of
the founders of Communism (for the millennials, Communists are not
fascist… or Nazi), Engels wrote about marriage and how it is used
as an oppressive tool to maintain women in a subordinate position.
Marriage and its associate rules push people into forming family
units where there is a bread-winner and a housekeeper. It makes
one person reliant on the other for sustenance… and even gives a
financial value to that dependence. The value makes its appearance in
ALIMONY when the marriage breaks up.
In order to encourage marriage, the US
government… and private enterprise… awards several bonuses to
married people that are not awarded to individuals in other
relationships. Take insurance… please!
In civilized countries, the entire
population is entitled to tax-payer funded medical care. There is
only government-provided health insurance… and it doesn’t matter
if you’re hitched or not. In the US, medical insurance is paid for
by employers. The law requires employers to pay for the SPOUSES and
children of workers. If you’re not married, it only pays for you.
In recent times, there was a “domestic
partnership” provision, that required companies to pay for people
living together (het or homo), if they registered. They didn’t have
to be married. This cost employers a ton of money. With gay marriage,
domestic partnership is dead. If you’re not married, someone loses
insurance. The employer doesn’t have to pay. The insurance
companies don’t have to insure. Thousands of people who had the
legal freedom and independence that comes from NOT being married,
have suddenly lost that. They’re pushed into marriage for the
insurance. And some for the tax benefits of joint filing.
But wait, there’s more: ADULTERY is
a valid legal reason for divorce. Divorce means a big payment in
alimony. So marriage pushes people into MONOGAMY. A religious rule
turns into a legal rule with the stroke of a wedding ring. The free
love ideals of the REAL progressives dies in a religious fury
encouraged by the government. Gay marriage is NOT progressive.
Marriage itself is not progressive, it is government control of love
and sex? Does that sound Progressive to you?
Interestingly, there have been some
new
voices talking about the evils of family… and THEY are
progressive.
And Transsexuals in the army? Oy vey!
It’s like an antebellum southerner asking Should transsexuals
be able to own slaves?
That’s not the question! The
question is should slavery be abolished?
Since WWII, the US military is a
murder machine... killing more people than all other countries
combined. Should transsexuals have a right to participate in that?
Of course not! NO ONE should have that
right.
And the last made up stuff I want to
talk about is something I’ve written about before, so I’ll be
brief.
Lack of gun control causes
mass killings and school shootings in the US.
In Switzerland, every family has a
gun.Wikipedia reports
that Canada has a million more registered firearms than the US, with
a population of 10% of that of the US. Canada
is one of the most peaceful countries on earth.
Gun violence is not caused by guns.
It’s caused by violence. You’ve already read that-- in modern
times-- the US has killed more people in other countries than all
other countries combined. And, it has cheer-led even more. America is
a country that thrives on war movies… or superheroes winning the
day… by killing.
America puts less value on life
(except, for some, unborn life) than any other country in the world.
It’s just made up that guns make violence. It’s easy to see that
a culture of violence creates violence. As for local/legal murder,
aka The Death Penalty, the US (with the exception of Japan:
one death penalty in the past 20 years) is the ONLY first world (sic)
country that still has that penalty. So you tell me, how is it GUNS
that make the violence here?
- end -
ENDNOTES:
[You can contact me on facebook
or by email at god@mykelboard.com.
Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music
or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137,
New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified
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-→Nice quote dept:
Speaking of gun laws, Morgan Freeman had some nice words about mass
killings in America. He included America’s fascination with
CELEBRITY (he is one)… and it’s certainly something to consider.
It's because of the way the
media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman
theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan
Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name
of a single *victim* of Columbine?
People who would otherwise just
off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by
doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade
school? Why children? Because he'll be remembered as a horrible
monster, instead of a sad nobody.
-→Unfortunate simile dept:
You know what a fan I am of Godwin’s law… which states that
given enough time, every internet discussion will bring up Hitler or
the Nazis and after that further discussion becomes useless. Can you
imagine climate change?
William Happer, chosen by
Trump to evaluate the risks of climate change, said:
The demonization of carbon dioxide
is just like the demonization of the poor Jews under Hitler. Carbon
dioxide is actually a benefit to the world-- and so were the
Jews.
End of meaningful discussion.
--> Jokes
become reality dept:
Just like 4chan’s successful attempt to provoke the easily-offended
left. (They pretended that
the OK sign was a secret WHITE POWER sign… and thus made it one.)
It’s clear that this is another case of a joke becoming reality. I think 4chan is the Yippies of the right.
-end-
