You’re STILL Wrong Mykel's Sept 2018 Blog/Column "Well-Hung"

You’re STILL Wrong

or
Mykel's

Sept 2018 Blog/Column

Well-hung

The pain starts at the ankles. A rough localized pain… not a stabbing pain... closer to an intense rash that hurts rather than itches. It’s the rope... digging into me… every strand cutting its own notch… if I move an inch… try to twist or flop my body… it cuts deeper.

The hook on the ceiling stays firm. I half hope it will pull out... freeing me from the hanging, but if it gives way suddenly, the entire 135 pounds of my body weight will land on my bald skull.. likely splitting it. So here I hang… naked... my head a couple feet above the concrete floor, my elderly breasts slightly higher on my chest than they are when I’m standing. Between my legs my floppy bits hang in a limp parody of the erection that wasn’t.

It must be an hour now. The pain in my bladder is slowly becoming intolerable. Gravity fights the urge to piss. I have to piss upward… over a urethral hill… then down. The pressure wins… gravity loses... the stream pushes its way from between my legs... up over the taint… and out. A yellow stream from up to down… hitting my chin as if perfectly aimed by one of those Russian piss experts. I tilt my head forward to catch it in my mouth.

None of that is true. At least, none is true on a literal level. Metaphorically, it’s the focus of this blog… Here’s something that IS true.

It’s noon. My first class starts in an hour and a half. It’s a cloudy day… rain a minute away… in any direction. I stop at Cafe Angelique on my way to the subway. Walking in, the most beautiful girl I’ve seen this year is walking out. She holds the door… makes a chivalrous sweeping hand gesture… and smiles… not one of those tooth-gritting-I’m-doing-this-to-be-polite-but-actually-I-hate-you smiles… but a real you’re-a-person-I’m a person-and-I’m happy-we’ve-had-this-encounter-however-brief smile. The cloudy day brightens a bit… from the inside.

Inside the cafe, I pick up my usual bagel stick (cream cheese, lox, on a mini-French bread… baked like a bagel)... and head to the counter to pay for it. I pass by the second most beautiful girl I’ve seen this year. On her lap... standing... is a little boy, obviously enjoying his trip to the cafe. Not only does the woman smile at me, she says “Hello there.” And even the little boy shows me a toothy grin. One tooth is missing.

I feel like I’m walking six inches off the floor. What a way to start the day! It looks like one of those rare days… not one of those days.^® I find myself whistling Hungarian Rhapsody on the short walk from the cafe to the subway station. I never whistle.

On the platform, I walk to the end where the least crowded car will dock. I eat the bagel stick and wait for the train. When it arrives, I get in and there are about half a dozen people in the car. I sit in the 2-seat bench next to the door. Today it's more out of habit than from my usual curmudgeonly desire not to have some man-spreader force himself into the seat next to me before spreading.

On the same side of the car… the other side of the door… a tough woman sits sipping something out of an ice-filled plastic cup. I set down my backpack and pull out the latest Nation and start reading stuff I know I’ll half agree with.

CRASH!

Not the train, but the woman's cup of ice as it falls to the floor. I look at the cup laying there… mostly still filled with ice, but with a few cubes lying helter skelter on the floor. I look from the cup back to the woman. She sits.. her fist tucked under her chin… a sad parody of Rodin...

her brows furrowed not in thought but in hostility… to something I can’t see.

I look from her to the cup on the floor and back to her... then back to The Nation. In my peripheral vision I can see her stand up and move to the other end of the car… as far away from my end as possible.

I try to focus on The Nation. At the next stop a few more people get into the car. When the door closes, the icewoman stands again and walks toward her cup on the floor. When she reaches it, she pulls back a leg like a football punter… then she kicks the cup... aiming it directly at my face… It misses my face… but does not miss my shirt and pants… soon covered with melted ice.

“He kept watching me!” she shouts to the rest of the passengars… all of whom quickly bury themselves in their cellphones.

I go back to The Nation and read the same sentence over and over again. Something about a Trump Bump.... I'm not getting it, but at least I don't have to look at the angry woman.

Luckily, the next stop is Grand Central. My stop... I get out… jog up the stairs… move into an alcove and glance behind to see if she’s followed me. She hasn’t.

Key point, I think, ALL of the women in this anecdote are colored… the two women in the cafe… the woman in the subway car. All slight variations on the color of oak in the lobby of the Algonquin Hotel... beautiful!

So, what’s all this got to do with hanging by my ankles naked from the ceiling in an unnamed building? I’m glad you asked: UPSIDE DOWN is the connection. My day turned upside down from heart-melting kindness to maniacal hostility. Life, people, everything that comes with the modern world is turning upside down… and few people notice it!

Leftists and rightists stand on their heads… supporting exactly the opposite of leftists and rightists… with as much anger at their former selves as the colored woman with a cup of ice.

FLASHBACK: On February 1, 1960, at 4:30pm, four black guys sit down at the lunch counter inside the Woolworth store in Greensboro North Carolina. The men have already purchased toothpaste and other products from the store with no problems. At the store's lunch counter they are refused service when they each asks for a cup of coffee. Following store policy, the staff refuses to serve the black men at the "whites only" counter. The store manager, Clarence Harris, asks them to leave. The four freshmen, however, stay until the store closes. The next day, more than twenty black students, recruited from other campus groups, join the sit-in.

They are customers demanding the same rights as other customers. Consumers demanding from the giant corporation...

WE SHALL OVERCOME!

This is the call of the generation… inspired by black, but soon gone to white… It leads to the Civil Rights Act of 1964. It leads to a host of others… but most importantly it establishes the basic principle that the right of the individual trumps the right of the corporation. The right of a customer to choose his business trumps the right of the business to choose its customer. You can’t just make “company rules”… post a sign WHITES ONLY and win. Anyone who can pay for your services is entitled to them. White customers complain. They are being disturbed by people who they didn’t like.

“Let the Negroes go to their own restaurants,” they say. “If they don’t like it, they should just open up a place themselves.”

Leftists/communists/liberals and my very young self applauded the sit-iners. We cheered the end of segregation and the affirmation of the rights of people over the rights of companies to just post a sign and keep people out. No more thumb over shoulder saying… “read the sign buddy, WHITES ONLY that’s the rule.”

FLASH TO 2018: Facebook, Apple, YouTube cut the account of wacko conspiricist Alex Jones. POW! We don’t like you! You’re out. If there was ever a case of corporate dictatorship... corporate triumph over individuals... this is it.

THE PROGRESSIVE MAGAZINE says in an editorial that Jones violated the terms of facebook’s agreement and “even if he didn’t, facebook is a private company and can change the rules any time.” This is THE PROGRESSIVE… previously one of the most out-spoken voices for the rights of THE PUBLIC over the rights of THE CORPORATION.

This attitude is NOT progressive. This is Donald Trump saying the right of corporations to pollute is more important that the right of individuals to breathe clean air. It’s Hobby Lobby denying contraceptives to its employees, saying the rights of the company bosses are more important than the rights of their employees. They signed a contract. If they don’t like it, they can work somewhere else.

Hobby Lobby was 4 years ago. Liberals were up in (non-lethal) arms. Then, in 2018, in a kerpow moment, those same liberals have turned themselves upside down and opened their mouths to taste the piss of corporatism…. and they love it. Alex Jones banned simultaneously from facebook, Apple and YouTube.

“How can they do this?” I ask.

“They’re a corporation. They make the rules. They can do what they want,” comes the answer-- from the liberals! Can you say WHITES ONLY?

But wait… there’s more.

In the days of white terrorism, the Ku Klux Klan wore white hoods to cover their identity when they terrorized Negroes, Jews, (sometimes) Catholics. They knew what they were doing was illegal, certainly violent, probably immoral.

These days, the only time you’ll see a klansman in a hood is in cartoons in “progressive” magazines.

Who wears the hoods in 2018? Who tries to hide their identity knowing that what they are doing is illegal, certainly violent, probably immoral. Is that a cross burning behind that guy? It might as well be one.

Had enough? Tough shit! There’s more.

Flash to 1950.

“I have here in my hand,” says Joseph McCarthy, “ a list of two hundred and five people that were known to the Secretary of State as being members of the Communist Party” shills for a dangerous Russia.

Russia was the bad guy. Those associated with it were bad. People were black-listed. Hollywood wouldn’t hire “Communists.” In order to get any work at all, Russia-lovers had to use assumed names to hide their identity.

Last month I wrote about how these former Russia lovers and CIA/FBI haters have suddenly turned into their upside down counterparts and now HATE Russia and love the CIA/FBI. But there’s more...

These days, actors still get black-listed, thrown off their programs… censored for their political beliefs or past sexual history. Roseanne Barr loses her job in a day, for a few words on Twitter. Kevin Spacey gets digitally edited out of a movie he was to star in. And the same political leaning that was the VICTIM of blacklisting, now applauds it. Upside down!

Yeah, there’s even more, but I need to stop now… my brain hurts… I probably should hoist myself back up by my ankles and let the blood rush to my head. It’ll give me the perspective needed to function in America in 2018.

-end-

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at god@mykelboard.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Subscribe to the MYKEL'S READERS Yahoo group readmboard-subscribe@yahoogroups.com]

-→Speaking of Antifa dept: During protests in Portland Oregon, one anti-Trump protester carried an American flag to show that he thought that it was patriotic to protest the president. Well, that didn’t sit well with the Antifa crew… one of whom beat the guy and put him in the hospital. In an exchange after the event, an Antifa member said, “Well, at least we didn’t kill him.”

-→Make Canada Great Again dept: Meanwhile, a manager at the Stanley Park Teahouse in Vancouver Canada was fired because he refused service to someone wearing a M.A.G.A. hat. The company said they fired the guy because he acted in a way violating the company’s philosophy of tolerance. 10 punk points to the company.

In America they’d be boycotted. If there’s one thing the current crop of left-totalitarians can’t tolerate… it’s tolerance.

-->Something for tolerance dept: Seems like the anti-Muslimites are always finding quotes to bolster their opinions. So I offer this one: Beware! Whoever is cruel and hard on a non-Muslim minority, or curtails their rights, or burdens them with more than they can bear, or takes anything from them against their free will; I (Prophet Muhammad) will complain against the person on the Day of Judgment. (from the Hadiths)

Put that in your Islamaphobic pipe and smoke it.

-end-

LINK TRADE DEPARTMENT:

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends... and enemies... in their blogs. So facebook me or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you. You add me.

Here's a start:

• David Goldberg's Busy Microbes Blog
• And another Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com
• I post a blog for Kyle Nonnemon, in prison for a ton of shit. He's a smart guy, with a passion for industrial metal and a general detestation of humankind. You can read his blog at: apothelema.blogspot.com
• Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency
• Sometimes I contribute to an interesting multi-talented blog called OgFomK Arts see me there!
• And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out Yesterday's Recipes.
• And here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour diary of sorts.
• Andy Shelton has an interesting blog here.
• Savage Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.
• Chris Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS. You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue soon.
• George Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books featured prominently.
• And my long-term pal Sid Yiddish contributes with his Mishegas Master Blog.

CONTACT REDUX: You can contact me on facebook or by email at god@mykelboard.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Subscribe to the MYKEL'S READERS Yahoo group readmboard-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.

You Just Don't Get It or Mykel's Post MRR Column no 49

Mykel's

Post MRR Column no 49

or

You Just Don't Get it

by Mykel Bioard

“That's the difference between most oppressed peoples of the world and American blacks. They vow never to forget, and we want everything expunged from our record, sealed and filed away for eternity.”

--Paul Beatty

“Nothing is so awkward as the demonstration of humanity by the enemy" -- Kobo Abe

CHARLOTTESVILLE VIRGINIA, SATURDAY AUGUST 12: Tension is high as a group of torch-bearing women and (mostly) men demonstrate against the removal of a Civil War statue. It's a motley crew of Southern Patriots, a guy with a swastika flag, White Supremacists, alt-rightist, not-so-alt-rightists, and who knows who else. Previous demonstrations have been attacked by Antifas... This time the paraders are prepared... armed. Some of them are looking for a fight. ...The torchlight parade begins.

Of course, the anti-Parade also begins. It's a motley crew of Antifas, liberals, American blacks and who knows who else. They too are armed, but apparently with more club power than fire power. Some of them are looking for a fight.

If these folks had been watching their CNN/FOX/BREITBART/BART SIMPSON these days. The weapon of choice in 2017 is neither a Ruger, a Tipman, a Bushmaster... nor a Saint Louis Slugger. It's a car... a van or SUV ... actually. Check out Nice... or London Bridge... Those guys know how to terror!

[I'm waiting for Mothers Against Cars to demand Car Control Laws... And the reaction form the right? “They're taking our cars away. The Feds are coming for them. Soon: no more cars... or Christmas!]

One of the statue supporters... a fan of white people... plows his sedan-not-SUV into a crowd of antis... killing one and injuring several. Outrage! (Justified.) Terrorism! (Maybe.)

STOP: Let's get this straight. Terrorism is a very specific form of warfare. It is meant to create fear in the local people so they will pressure their leaders to surrender/end a war/stop some action. Raiding a random school yard and shooting up kids is not terrorism. A guy at a swimming pool killing innocents to get back at his girlfriend is not terrorism. An attack killing Planned Parenthood doctors MIGHT be terrorism, if the motive is to scare doctors away from performing abortions. If it's to kill doctors that the shooter judges to be murderers... it is NOT terrorism. Sherman's civil war march through the South, burning a path to the sea... damaging innocent people on the way... that was terrorism. Early 20^th century lynchings for looking at a white woman and vagrancy or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. That was terrorism. Scare those darkies into knowing their place!

Of course, even if an act is NOT terrorism, it can still be deadly and worthy of condemnation. A person is no less dead if she's killed in a nut-job shooting or a drone attack than if she's plowed down by a terrorist. I just want to get the terms right.

So, what happens after this guy smashes his car into the crowd? Not only does he become a terrorist but everybody in the pro-statue march suddenly become Nazis and Racists. Alt-right-- an umbrella term for rightists who don't subscribe to The National Review-- suddenly becomes an umbrella term for Nazis, the KKK, and anyone else on the Antifa shit list. One person carrying a swastika flag becomes the symbol of everybody who carries a Hawaiian tiki torch. The car driver earns the epithet American Terrorist, in nya-nya-told-ya-so response to alt-right labeling of other terrorists foreigners, Muslims or immigrants.

AUGUST 17, BARCELONA SPAIN: A van driven by a Muslim immigrant...claimed by ISIS as one of their own... slams into a crowd in Barcelona Spain. It kills sixteen people. This is clearly a terrorist act. Isis has used this tactic exactly in the terrorist way... to scare people into pressuring their government into stopping the invasions of the Middle East. (By the way, I agree with their motives, but not their means.)

Local Muslims are scared. Spain has a history of tossing Muslims (and Jews) out of the country (check out what ELSE happened in 1492)... Can you say Spanish Inquisition? In order to ensure calm in the Barcelona aftermath, European liberals urge the populous not to tar the whole immigration kit and caboodle with one blood-spattered van. There is a march to welcome new immigrants.

But who, except The President^®, is urging the American populous not to tar the whole Charlottesville march kit and caboodle with one somewhat less blood-spattered vehicle? And the president giving an ounce of humanity to the torch-bearers provokes such outrage that his entire multi-billionaired CEO advisory group... quits. This is a group scummier than Citibank, than Lehman Brothers, than Goldman Sachs. Scummier than Steve Jobs... the kind of group that bribes Hilary Clinton with one besmirched hand and then wipes Donald Trump's ass with the other. These are people who support companies that exploit workers, pay no taxes, make sure the government is “business friendly,” hire slave labor, no problem. But give an modicum of understanding to “the other side?” What an outrage!

Even FOX News, that paragon of corporate conservatism. (via Newsmax):

James Murdoch, the CEO of Fox News' parent company, has been slammed by conservatives for harshly criticizing President Donald Trump and suggesting he had backed Nazi sympathizers.

Earlier this week, Murdoch, who heads 21st Century Fox, wrote "What we watched this last week in Charlottesville and the reaction to it by the President of the United States concern all of us as Americans and free people."

Murdoch pledged “to fight hate crimes and prejudice.”

"The presence of hate in our society was appallingly laid bare as we watched swastikas brandished on the streets of Charlottesville and acts of brutal terrorism and violence perpetrated by a racist mob," Murdoch added.

"I can't even believe I have to write this: Standing up to Nazis is essential; there are no good Nazis. Or Klansmen, or terrorists."

Trump did condemn white supremacists and Nazi sympathizers, including the person who murdered a young protester. That wasn't enough, says the populous. He needs a thicker brush to tar with... but the tar has to be only on one side. 

CHANGE SUBJECT: Paul Beatty, the author I quoted at the beginning of this entry wrote an amazing book called The Sellout... certainly the best book I've read this year. It's filled with hilarious criticism of racism, and attitude.... and not just white racism. Beatty also criticizes his fellow colored people. In his satire, his protagonist cleans up a black town by reintroducing segregation. His premise, (although he doesn't directly mention the analogy), is that-- like Jews need antisemitism to keep unity-- American blacks need overt racism to bring them together.

Beatty's quote at the beginning of this piece-- about destroying history reaches to RIGHT NOW-- in the city of Baltimore-- which quietly removed Civil War Confederate-oriented statues in the middle of the night. The liberal mayor of that city decided it was the best move to keep the peace... or hide the history.

CHANGE SUBJECT AGAIN: As a free speech kinda guy, I always feel guilty when I ban people on facebook. I know I'm not banning their speech, but I don't get to hear what they have to say. There are about a dozen who make the BLOCK list (out of nearly 3000 “friends”)... most because of association with Maximum Rock'n'Roll. That ban is my tit for their tat. But in the last month I've had to ban someone just for being stupid. Not biologically stupid. Not mongoloid stupid. Not doesn’t-know-an-alligator-from-a-crocodile stupid. But INTERNET stupid... Facebook stupid... The kind of I-don't-want-to-hear-it stupidity that makes most facebook discussion useless.

• Him: You're a racist.
• Me: All Americans are racist.
• Him: So you admit it.
• Me: Absolutely, I think white people are the most destructive race on earth. Most of my friends are not white. I don't like the white race.
• Him: So you admit your racism... and you're trying to play the “My Black Friend” card.
• Me: Thinking “not white” is the same as “black” is racist. Humanity is not just white or black. Neither is the world.
• Him: You're a tool of the alt-right racists.
• Me: You're outta here.

I mention this not because I want to pick on this guy, but because of how many of us are becoming that special kind of idiot that refuses rights and humanity to those we don't like... and by doing so... give others the justification to refuse YOU those rights and humanity. We're losing the ability to discuss.

“How could you think that?” is not a question people want answered. It is code for “You CAN'T think that!”

When you meet opinions with clubs, those clubs will be met with guns, and cars. When you don't think... or don't listen... THEY don't think... or don't listen. When you hide history, you change history. When you change history, nothing is true.

It's easy to shout down, to attack, to throw a sucker-punch. It's easy to stop a person from speaking. But when you do that... instead of answering, debating, thinking... you make yourself the template for the actions of the other side. She did it... so why can't I? And THEY have bigger guns.

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at god@mykelboard.com Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available by subscribing to the MYKEL'S READERS Yahoo group readmboard-subscribe@yahoogroups.com]

--> Make New Jersey Great Again dept: A Wall Township (NJ) High School student wore a MAGA shirt for his class photo. When the photo appeared in the yearbook, the t-shirt was blank. At least three other students complained about similar censorship.... The school said it didn't want any trouble... But wait! There's more.

In Morristown (NJ) High, school officials removed two student anti-Trump works from their school art show. The artist, Liam Shea, complained about school censorship for political views. The school said it didn't want any trouble.

See? Once you start, there's no end to it. And look at...

-->College Hoops Dept: Latino students at Pitzer College have a "free speech wall" where students are encouraged to write what they want: Some Hispanic students wrote "White Girl, Take Off Your Hoops," in reference to the idea of "cultural appropriation."

The girls were wrong. One of the few good things about America is that everybody's culture belongs to everybody. I LOVE it when I see Japanese businessmen eating matzoh. Culture should CONTRIBUTE to the world, not divide it. Take my culture... please!

Correct or not, the Latina students have the right to their opinion. That's what free speech is all about. But what happened?

The Latinas all received threats, including pictures of guns pointed at them. They're now afraid for their safety. The idiots of the right have proven themselves to be as intolerant as the idiots of the left.

Another worry America will never have: a shortage of idiots.

-->Side effects dept: Tylenol is a drug already marked because of a cyanide scandal last century. This century, scientists credit the drug with causing severe liver damage... and the latest report shows that the drug "dulls empathy." So, if you take Tylenol, you're less likely to give a buck to that homeless guy sitting freezing on his cardboard box.

My question: Why hasn't there been a study about American capitalism? I'm sure findings will show will find an even stronger correlation between it and lack of empathy. Take Ayn Rand.... please!

-->Getting Their Goat Dept: I used to write about how unions were bad guys because their whole purpose is to encourage work. And it still strikes me as odd that the right-wing “get a job you lazy fuck!” crew is so anti-union. They're really (almost) on the same side of the welfare line. Now, I think unions are a necessary evil... better than the alternative which is not a work-free life... but slavery.

Still, every once-in-awhile, I read about jobs that really might be better if done by goats. This from Chuck Shephards News of The Weird:

A local chapter of the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees in Battle Creek, Michigan, is butting heads with Western Michigan University this summer after the school brought in a goat crew to clean up an overgrown woodlot on campus, leaving union workers without jobs. The AFSCME's grievance cites a collective bargaining agreement with WMU, but university officials counter that "the area is rife with poison ivy and other invasive species," which are difficult for humans to remove. The 20-goat crew, rented from Munchers on Hooves in Coldwater, Michigan, is ahead of schedule in clearing a 15-acre area.

-->Keeping the Pressure on Dept: I want to thank reader George Metesky for suggesting a continuing Bring Back Mykel effort directed at Maximum Rock'n'Roll for censoring me.

As their revolving editrixes move on to commercial ventures, each blames her predecessors for my demise... as if they had no control over the business... and couldn't simply invite me back.

Send your comments to mrr@maximumrocknroll.com (or post on their facebook page) with the subject line: BRING BACK MYKEL! Let me know how they answer.

See you in hell.

-end-

NOTE: If you're interested in my travel blog, you can read it at mykelsdiary.blogspot.com. Other articles of interest (to me anyway) including my How Rich People Spend Their Money series can be found at: http://mykelsclippings.blogspot.com. And finally, my oldies-but-baddies series is at: http://mykelsoldies.blogspot.com