Nothing But The Truth or Mykel's Blog for December 2022

 

Nothing But The Truth or Mykel's Blog for December 2022

  

Nothing But The Truth

or You're STILL Wrong,

Mykel's December 2022 Blog

by Mykel Board

Truth is a shining goddess, always veiled, always distant, never wholly approachable, but worthy of all the devotion of which the human spirit is capable. – Bertrand Russell

Truth is a goddess upon whose altar we have laid down our lives, but truth without gentleness, without mercy, without kindness, without love, is a pile of bones rotting in the midday sun.

--Larry Livermore

Truth is sacred, and if you tell the truth too often, no one will believe it. – G. K. Chesterton

They are evil people, the press, the media, they are bad people, and nobody, nobody lies like they do. – Donald Trump

Postmodernists are skeptical of explanations which claim to be valid for all groups, cultures, traditions, or races, and instead focuses on the relative truths of each person. It considers "reality" to be a mental construct. – Wikipedia

********************

I lay naked, face up, on the rough plywood plank. My wrists are fastened by leather handcuffs to the top corners. I’m bent in half… Ropes pull my knees pull tight against my shoulders. My thighs press my chest. Two sets of hands push down on my belly… and again. Each hard push just grazes my bladder forcing a weak stream from between my legs… settling in a growing yellow pond in my navel.

“Come on, Mykel! Shit!” shouts the one who presses the hardest.

Then….

Hold on! Speaking of shit. Stop the bullshit. You know this is all made up, Mykel. Just a bunch of bullshit… lies.

Fuck! I’d recognize that voice anywhere. It’s the voice of Literary Device^®. I wish to hell she’d shut up. Busting in, right when I’m trying to set the mood.

“What the fuck?” I yell at her. “I’m just about to get to the coprophilic orgasm and you have to break in. Why?”

“Because it’s a lie, Mykel,’ she says. “You literally have to make shit up to prove your point. Why can’t you stick to the truth?”

Even though she’s an asshole, somehow Literary Device^® provides an introduction to what I want to write about.

This month it’s

THE TRUTH

What is truth? My email in-box today has a petition from Common Cause to ask facebook, twitter and penislength.org to “fact-check” all posts, and presumably ban the ones that don’t tell the truth. (They also want to ban “Hate Speech,” but you already know how I feel about that.)

Did you know Joe Biden shaves his pubic hair? Fact check that, buckaroo! Donald Trump likes golden showers. Is that the truth?

I know what’s happened to me. That’s the truth, right? Maybe not! Even that can be a lie. See false memories. There is no way to know what is truth and not. In everyday life, we have to live as if we know the truth… whether we really know it or not. We have to take one step after another assuming “the truth” that the ground will continue to support our weight as we move forward.

Is THE TRUTH something you see or experience personally? How many satanic cases went to court because cops convinced witnesses of what they didn’t see, but believed they saw?

I sit and type this… a vague smell of melting wax comes into my nostrils. I feel a tinge of pain in my neck… on the right side. I guess my head must have been in the same position too long. The left side of my neck itches… as does the bottom of my right foot. A piece of the skin around my left testicle has somehow curled itself under my leg and is beginning to ache.

These things are TRUTH for me. Can anything else be truth?

Is science truth? Some people worship it like a God.“It’s science,” they say and that’s that. Like "It's in the Bible." for the religious.

Newton’s science was undone by Einstein. Then Einstein begins to unravel in a sea of uncertainty and randomness and Quantum Mechanics. Einstein tries to fights back… even bringing God into the mix with his famous quote: God does not play dice with the universe. But the Quantum says she does.

Science... that method of thinking... has unleashed at least as much harm in the world as religion. Can you say atomic bombs, plastics, Tuskegee Experiment, poisonous fertilizers, Cyanide, germ warfare, Thalidomide… the list goes on. Still it claims to have a monopoly on truth.

In 2022, science has become politics, with Democrats urging mask-wearing (and political contributing, of course) in order to fight the “anti-science” Republicans.

 “Stop Mykel,” comes the voice of Literary Device^®, “sure science has done some fucked-up things, but that doesn’t mean it’s not the best way to discover the truth.”

You’re right, L. D. But science has other ways to show it’s falsehoods. It proves it’s not true by turning on itself. Science that explains how the sun goes around the earth is replaced by science that says the earth goes around the sun. Science that says antibiotics cure disease, is replaced by science that says, disease builds an immunity to antibiotics. Science changes… goes back… contradicts itself… finds exceptions. If truth is anything, it’s always true. Science is a lie waiting to happen. 

FLASH TO SEASON TWO BETTER CALL SAUL: Jimmy McGill is scamming a bunch of old people in an assisted living home. He walks into Brenda’s apartment with a box of cookies.

“Oh Jimmy,” says Brenda. “You’re so wonderful. You never forget me.”

Jimmy sets the cookies in front of her. “It’s because I care about you,” he says. “Have you thought about what you’re going to do with all that money from the lawsuit? Go on a cruise maybe?”

Brenda is the “class lawsuit representative” and makes the decisions about whether to accept a settlement, or hold out for more money. If she accepts, Jimmy will have big bucks coming. He has persuaded Brenda and she signed the papers.

“Oh, I don’t know, Jimmy,” says Brenda, “the other people around here are angry at me. They don’t talk to me anymore. All my friends have left me. They think I sold them out.”

“They’ll come around,” says Jimmy.

They don’t. They hate her. She’s lonely... unloved.. where she used to be the queen of the club.

Flash to the next episode, Jimmy sacrifices the case… more than a million bucks.. to trick the group into loving her again. It’s complicated… like life. Jimmy is scum. Jimmy is a hero.

There’s more TRUTH in those two episodes of TV fiction, than there is in an entire year of Scientific American. People… life… the world… It’s complicated, deep... changes from one minute to the next… from one place to the next… from one culture to the next.

I’ve written about binary thinking. How pro-Trump people will excuse… or justify his abuse of immigrants. How they’ll explain away his clearing of demonstrators so he can have a photo op with a Bible. How he used a drone in a political assassination. Anything bad about Trump is not true because Trump is Good.

Anti-Trump people explain away his pardoning of thousands of non-violent locked up people. They call his opening of communications with North Korea, “a trick.” Anything good about the guy is not true because Trump is Evil.

Take a proposition: Trump is Good or Trump is Evil… and your job is to prove that proposition is right. For you, the TRUTH will be what confirms your opinions, your culture, your preconceptions.

“Ok come on,” says Literary Device^®. "2+2 = 4. That’s TRUE. 2+2=5… That is NOT true. Always. Anytime."

No it’s not. In Roman numerals II+II=IV. If that is TRUE, then 2+2 should equal 2V.

Okay, so what is THE TRUTH? Maybe it’s not something that always reflects outside reality. Maybe it’s just a tool that helps make predictions.

I sit at my desk, continuing to type these words. It’s cold outside… 39^o (4^o C) my eyes burn from the dry air. I reach for the half-filled coffee cup sitting on the edge of the mousepad. My hand settles on the handle... index finger on top... middle finger sliding slightly down... through the handle… vagina-like.

With the support of the ring finger on the same hand, I lift the cup to my lips. If I release my grip, the cup will fall… likely breaking into foot splintering shards… the hot liquid splashing against my bare legs.

Gravity is useful knowledge. If I drop something, it will fall down. It helps in my daily life. I can avoid broken dishes and locating that battery I just dropped out of the dildo. Gravity is truth. If you drop something it falls… oh wait, helium balloons…

Gravity is not truth. It is a useful way of predicting what will happens, but sometimes it’s wrong. Sure science can explain away why things don’t ALWAYS fall when dropped. But do we need that? Is it important? Isn’t truth only useful when it helps us make decisions or prepare for the future?

Why worship it? How is believing in science any different from believing in the virgin birth?

“Okay Mykel,” says Literary Device^®. “Whatever truth is to us, that’s what we should communicate. Whatever we believe is true, we should be responsible and pass that on the way we see it. That’s called being honest.”

FLASH TO HAPPY FACE NURSING HOME: 90-year old Mary Sunshine stands in front of me. She’s modeling her new dress... white with little Hello Kitty faces polka-dotted from shoulder to shin. She twists and turns on her feet as best as she can… first this way, then that.

“How do I look?” she asks.

“You look like shit.” I tell her. “You’re old and ugly and there’s nothing you can do about it… except maybe with twenty grand’s worth of plastic surgery.”

Tears form in Mary’s eyes. She sits down… hangs her head like a defeated boxer.

“How could you do that to her?” asks Literary Device^®. “That was so cruel!”

“But it was the truth,” I answer. 

Get it?

Truth is bullshit. A kind of truth may help you decide how to live your day-to-day life… but for every ten prevented spilt cups of coffee, there is one escaped helium balloon.

Human feelings, complexity, emotions, culture, avoidance of inflicting pain, these values are more important that the truth. Believing in them is more important than in believing in science… or the truth.

You atheists… you who say there is no God… you make a God out of science… science where the next day it admits it had it wrong and TODAY it has it right. Instead of judging Is it useful? Does it make someone feel better? Will it help? You instead judge IS IT TRUE?

Well, to again quote a great man… YOU’RE WRONG!

See you in hell.

Mykel Board

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at mykelboard@gmail.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Send me an email with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. Back blogs and columns are at https://mykelsblog.blogspot.com]

→ Cancel Culture Strikes Again Dept: This from the National Coalition Against Censorship. One of the few organizations that recognizes censorship from all sides. 

Wanna bet that the folks who are protesting this play are NOT the same folks who are protesting Transfolk Story Telling Hour?

→ A Tasteless True Story Dept: The Japan Times reports that Japanese convenience store Lawson is testing a new candy that tastes like emptiness. "Aji no Shinai? Ame," or "Tasteless? Candy," apparently has a slight odor but almost no flavor. The makers are hoping that people who use candy just to keep their mouths and throats moist will appreciate the flavorless variety.

 → Biting The Dust Dept: Punk rockers and other music folks will know that Keith Levene, best known as the guitarist for Public Image Ltd died this month. (November). What’s left out of most of the obituaries is who remains.

When living in New York, Keith married Lori Montana, sign language girl for my then band ART, THE ONLY BAND IN THE WORLD. Lori now lives in New Jersey and I see her not often enough. Their son, Kirk, along with his mom, is one of the most important people in my life.
    Keith ditched his family when they moved to Los Angeles. After several decades Kirk and Keith reestablished communications. Kirk got to speak to his father a couple hours before Keith died. Keith could not answer Kirk’s end of the conversation, but, according to Kirk, he could grunt in acknowledgment. Says Kirk, “It was a happy grunt.”

See you in hell, redux,

MB

THE NATION AGAIN

I’m a long-time subscriber to the The Nation. It’s the only lefty publication that I find myself not only agreeing with, but also getting inspiration from. Strangely, when I post this stuff on facebook, no one looks at it. My “friends” would just rather call me a “Trumpist” or a “Republican” for all the times I don’t follow the party line. If it’s printed in THE NATION, it should give me street cred, right? Yeah right.

The October 17 issue has a great article by Laura Kipnis, one of my heroes. Her wonderful book Against Love put words to my long-time feelings. In this article, she debates the question Is Masculinity Worth Saving? Her answer? Yes! Especially because Masculinity includes wearing sensible shoes.

The November 14 issue has a column by Yale Prof David Bromwich called Hating Russia. It’s a superb calling out of Biden and the media for supporting the war machine by building anti-Russia hatred. Speaking of Joe Biden, there was another Joe who had similar anti-Russian views… though his last name was McCarthy.

LINK TRADE DEPARTMENT:

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends and enemies in their blogs. So facebook me or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you. You add me.

Here's a start:

Video of the week: My long-time friend Sid Yiddish appears on a YouTube DatingGame-like video. Guess who wins the bachlorette!

Here’s Richard Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com

Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency

And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out Yesterday's Recipes.

And here's one by a member of ANTISEEN... a tour diary of sorts.

Andy Shelton has an interesting blog here.

Savage Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.

Chris Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS. You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue soon.

George Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books featured prominently. If there’s no link here (I can’t find it temporarily), then Google… er… Duckduckgo him for information.

And my long-term pal Sid Yiddish contributes with his Mishegas Master Blog.

And connect to TRUST Zine, a long-running German punk zine… that STILL PRINTS!!! Yeah, they have a website too… of course! It’s here.

Here are a couple video links.

This from Jon Cox https://squelchchamber1.bandcamp.com/album/down-so-low

And this one from my very long-time friend Roger Armstrong.

Jim Testa moved his long running zine, Jersey Beat, to the blogosphere awhile back. You can read it here. Jim also recommended a kind of unique album… in a style you don’t see to much of these days… or any days. Neo-Hassidic Rock Opera. You can stream the album here.

Kyle Nonneman is in prison in Portland. At least he can’t be kidnapped by the secret police… I think. I post his blog for him, he can’t do it from the klink. Lots of stuff about noise metal… and some very weird politics that will either fascinate or repulse you… or both.

My long time pal, Jim Hayes rightfully complained about my leaving out his blog. He’s a great writer, so it was a tragic omission. Here it is.

Oh yeah, then there’s me. I have a blog of stuff I’ve written mostly from last century. You might enjoy it. Then again, you might not. It’s here.

Let me know if you have a blog… or a print zine… or a YouTube and want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already seen mine. god@mykelboard.com

You're Still Wrong, Mykel's Nov 2020 Blog or Truth and Nothing But

 MYKEL'S NOV. 2020 BLOG

OR

Is That The Truth In Your
Pocket Or Are You
Happy To See Me

You’re STILL Wrong

or

Mykel's November 2020 Blog/Column

by Mykel Board 

[Back to once-a-month now. Though I only had 14 days to think about this one.]

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of demand. --Josh Billings

Dearer to us the falsehood that exalts than hosts of baser truths. --Anne Landsman

Ashley and I are clothes shopping. Neither of us likes shopping for clothes on-line. We want to feel the material... try it on... look in the mirror... support the local shops. Me? I usually hate clothes shopping except at thrift stores. Ashley likes… er… higher end.

Flash to a hoity toity designer shop in Soho. Ashley tries on a blouse that looks somewhere between a Hawaiian shirt and a Whole Foods shopping bag. It’s too tight over her belly.

She looks at herself in the mirror.

“Waddaya think, Mykel?” She asks. “Do I look good in this?”

“You look like shit in it,” I say. “It makes you look fat and your tits look lumpy… like potatoes stuffed too tight.”

Tears form on those parts of her eyes closest to the nose-bridge. They dribble down symmetrically. She wipes them away and sniffs.

“Can’t you say something nice?” she asks. “I know you don’t like expensive stuff. But what do I look good in?”

“You look good in a black t-shirt torn at the shoulder, and molded to show some nipple,” I tell her.

“You asshole!” says Ashley. “Why do you go shopping with me if you’re only going to insult me?”

“Because I know YOU like to go shopping,” I answer, “and I figure if I do something you like, it’ll get me laid.”

None of that really happened. But, although not true, it reveals a deeper truth. TRUTH, you see... despite protestations, charges of “fake news,” “conspiracy theory...” is something that NOBODY wants.

We get along in our everyday life through lies. Lies are the grease that keeps friendships together. Lies are the sandpaper that smooths out friction between one government and the next. Lies are our entertainment. Parody is lies. Satire is lies. Borat is lies. Even awful love dramas… at their most basic… are lies.

Twitter marks tweets as “fact-checked… untrue” or something like that. Facebook marks a parody of Trump’s birtherism.. accusing Trump of being born an Arab… “fake news.” Of course it’s fake news, you idiots. IT’S A JOKE!

Maybe the chicken had a deeper motivation for crossing the street. Maybe it was existential insecurity. Maybe it was rooster sexual-harassment that forced the traffic-challenging change. Maybe getting to the other side had nothing to do with it.

Fact check please!

No!

Take post-modernism.

My understanding of post-modernism is that it comes from the theory that there is no truth… or rather... that the truth varies depending on your point of view. What’s true about traffic cops for Miles Davis (If you didn’t know, he was stopped while driving his Lamborghini. The reason? The cop said, “You don’t fit the car.”) is different than what’s true about traffic cops for Mykel Board. (The reason? The cop asked, “You get your license at K-Mart?”)

It’s Schrodinger’s Cat… dead and alive at the same time… for EVERYTHING.

Post-modernism used to be the philosophy among most academics. Now, these the same people complain about “fake news.” Hey buckaroos, it’s ALL fake news.

We’ve entered an age of POST-post-moderninsm. We’ve entered a time where there are only FACTS… and those who don’t understand the facts. Sometimes this is called SCIENCE. Sometimes it’s called The Truth^®

It seems like the world… or at least the United States… is filled with people who only accept their own views as THE TRUTH. Other people are idiots, hillbillies, socialists, capitalists, or whatever epithet fits. Worst though, are the questioners.

When I tell people I’m a “Trump agnostic,” I have to duck as the shit flung from the fan comes spinning at me like a tornado.

“How could you say that? The man is evil. You support his banning abortions and jailing little children at the border?”

“How can you say that? The man is the best thing since oral sex. You’re against his freeing of non-violent criminals, his lack of invasions of foreign countries, his fight for lower drug prices?”

Aaaaahrgh!!!

There is no room to question when opposite sides think they have a monopoly on the truth.

As I write this, I realize I have a problem. (People have been telling me that for years.) I admire whistle-blowers… the Daniel Ellsbergs, the Chelsea/Bradley Mannings, the Julian Assanges, The Edward Snowdens.

I admire their bravery... their willingness to reveal what others want to hide... their dedication to the freedom to KNOW. Sometimes their activities are called “revealing the truth.”

I won’t call it that. Instead, I’ll call it: alternate realities... different stories… other possibilities.

I read complaints about “information overload”… but instead of suppression, we need education on how to decide among the alternatives.

The whistleblowers have shown that: One of the best ways to judge the “truth” (or ONE truth) of something is by how quickly people want to cover it up.

I have over 3000 “friends” on facebook. That’s true. What’s also true is that my “friends” are not necessarily my friends. Most of them I don’t know. Some that I know --and like– I have “unfriended” or have unfriended me, because of the poisonous nature of facebook communication. Those people are not poison. Facebook itself is poison.

In its quest to suppress “fake news,” it suppresses humor. In its quest to suppress “hate speech,” it suppresses speech. (I was in facebook jail for “hate speech” because I wrote that Americans were “barbaric” for not using bidets.)

I get bounced from Amazon for selling a copy of the King James Bible, autographed by the author. Twitter gives me bad marks for saying Joe Biden’s tax returns include a deduction for a charitable contribution to Pedophiles without Borders.

Humor is lost in the quest for the truth… No it isn’t.

It’s likely you’ll be reading this after the presidential elections. The election is America’s biggest joke of the millennium. A president who frees hundreds of non-violent criminals running against the author of 3-strikes and you’re out (jailed for life) law. Guess which one is the liberal?

Right now, polling place lines are long. The only difference my vote would make is a photo of the ballot with Sid Yiddish and Charles Bukkake written in for President and VP. Lies, fake news and half-truths burst from both sides. And I have as much interest in Hunter Biden’s Ukraine connection as I do in Hillary Clinton’s emails. It’s a joke no one is laughing at.

I still have an interest in THE TRUTH, though. Not what the truth is, but if there is such a thing as truth at all. And… if there is… is it useful or irrelevant? Clearly, it hurts people’s feelings… and it’s an excuse for name-calling. Clearly science doesn’t have it... neither does politics or religion.

I think I’m going to be newly old fashioned and go back to post-modernism. Truth is what you make it… and how you look at it. And with that, I’m going to lie down and jerk off my 11-inch dick.

- end -

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at god@mykelboard.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Send me an email with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. Back blogs and columns are at https://mykelsblog.blogspot.com

→ It takes balls dept: The Washington Post reports that a hospital in Oklahoma admitted a severely bleeding patient. The 28-year-old victim said that two men had surgically removed his testicles in their remote cabin in the Oklahoma woods. One of those men said he was a “cannibal” who kept body parts in the refrigerator.

The next day, sheriff’s deputies found what appeared to be testicles in a bag in the freezer. The two men face felony charges of conspiracy to commit and performing unlicensed surgery.

The “victim” told investigators that he volunteered for the surgery after meeting the “doctor” on a website that advertised castrations. He consented to the operation.

And I thought the whole thing was about consent. Consent don’t mean shit these days. Ain’t it the truth?

→ Here’s the sweet poll dept: Trump will win the election. At least, that’s the lead he has in the Lochel’s Bakery’s viral cookie poll. The bakery, just outside of Philadelphia, lets shoppers buy either Trump or Biden decorated cookies, and the staff keeps track of each one they sell.

Six weeks ago, the bakery launched its poll. The results have been unexpected.

Cookies Sold:

Trump - 3,754

Biden - 1,602

I say it may not be the political taste, but may have something to do with the fact that the Biden Cookies are completely stale.

→ Major campaign manager Dept: TV preacher Pat Robertson says that Donald Trump will win the election. How does he know? He got a direct message from God, saying that the election results are determined from above… WAAAY above.
Maybe it’s true. After all, his source is the same guy upstairs who brought us COVID-19… and more hurricanes than ever before… not to mention floods, and earthquakes. It MUST BE TRUE!

See you in hell,
MB

LINK TRADE DEPARTMENT:

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends and enemies in their blogs. So facebook me or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you. You add me.

Here's a start:

Here’s Richard Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com

Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency

And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out Yesterday's Recipes.

And here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour diary of sorts.

Andy Shelton has an interesting blog here.

Savage Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.

Chris Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS. You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue soon.

George Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books featured prominently. If there’s no link here (I can’t find it temporarily), then Google… er… Duckduckgo him for information.

And my long-term pal Sid Yiddish contributes with his Mishegas Master Blog.

And connect to TRUST Zine, a long-running German punk zine… that STILL PRINTS!!! Yeah, they have a website too… of course! It’s here.

Here are a couple video links.

This from Jon Cox https://squelchchamber1.bandcamp.com/album/down-so-low

And this one from my very long-time friend Roger Armstrong.

Jim Testa moved his long running zine, Jersey Beat, to the blogosphere awhile back. You can read it here. Jim also recommended a kind of unique album… in a style you don’t see to much of these days… or any days. Neo-Hassidic Rock Opera. You can stream the album here.

Kyle Nonneman is in prison in Portland. At least he can’t be kidnapped by the secret police… I think. I post his blog for him, he can’t do it from the klink. Lots of stuff about noise metal… and some very weird politics that will either fascinate or repulse you… or both.

Oh yeah, then there’s me. I have a blog of stuff I’ve written mostly from last century. You might enjoy it. Then again, you might not. It’s here.

I have a very occasional blog about how rich people are just like us… same needs, same desires, you know. You can read it here.

Let me know if you have a blog… or a print zine… or a YouTube and want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already seen mine. god@mykelboard.com