Send 'em Back! or Mykel's Post MRR Column no 56

Mykel's

Post MRR Column no 56

or

Maybe There’s a Few Good Ones in There

or
Don’t Build a Wall, Build a Boat

Customs agent: Do you have anything to declare?

Oscar Wilde: My genius.

The scene is the kitchen: He wanders into his friend’s place… maybe an off-campus apartment...seems like no one’s home. The guy looks like a freshman... just a hint of dark fuzz on his upper lip. There at the sink is his friend’s steady… washing dishes while rubbing against the sink… and moaning. He slips behind, wraps his arms around the washer… Then comes the kissing… I fast-forward… Ahh here it is, the kneeling, the slow lowering of his pants… then his Calvin Kleins… centimeter by centimeter… until THWING! He pops full-blown into view… and I pop full-blown into the handkerchief I keep next to the computer.

It’s always my favorite part… the tension building up… and then the revelation. Will it be a banana? A bent nail? A tree trunk? A pig in a blanket? A hairy clam? A shaved taco? A double lipped-pinkette? I peak at the revelation, and it’s all a downhill drip from there.

So it is with life… with understanding… that single THWING moment where the truth is revealed. THAT makes me come.

I'll be posting this just after midnight March 31, 2018. As I contemplate the merging of late winter snow with the rains of April, I find myself madder than a vegan in a steakhouse. It’s all so obvious now-- like a massive hard-on emerging from a pair of boxers.

Are the goggles of political correctness so blocking of the light that people cannot see what’s at the end of the newspaper spoon? Are we so blinded by la-di-dah visions of a beautiful world… that we can’t see the twat for the pubes? Are we so sure of the basic goodness inherent in all people^® that when facts show us that some people are worse than others… we refuse to condemn those people?

There’s been discussion of immigrants lately… a lot of discussion. This is my second column/blog on the topic… but the world needs what I have to say.

Stopping immigration isn’t enough. They’re here already. If you have cancer, you don’t take a pill to prevent getting more cancer… you cut out the lesion! Let’s first take a look at what they’ve done so far.

Here’s a random year in their recent history.

• January 19: Bombs explode outside two government offices
• Feb 9: A 3,000-pound bomb detonated in London's Docklands area.
• March 20: Two bombs left in the trash bins of a shopping area explode. Multiple deaths, including children.
• April 22: A bomb was left outside the gates of Holy Cross primary school.
• May 29: A large firebomb explodes near the reception desk of the Everglades Hotel.
• June 15: A ton-and-a-half truck bomb explodes injuring more than 200 people.
• July 21: 26 bombs explode in the city center… 9 killed
• August 1: A 500 lb car bomb exploded in the center of Banbridge. The bomb kills 29 people and wounds 220 others.
• September 5: Two killed and 63 injured when a bomb is detonated in the lobby of a Hilton Hotel.
• October-November: A wave of bombs in bars kills 28 people and wounds more than 200.
• November 14-19: Over fifty bombs exploded in several rural towns. Multiple injuries.
• December 21: A bomb explodes on a super-sized airplane. The plane crashes on the town of Lockerbie, Scotland, killing all 259 aboard. Eleven people on the ground are also killed.

Who are they? Who are the ones causing so much death and destruction? Who are the ones bringing terror and a religion of death into America? The answer came to me on St. Patrick’s Day. The sea of staggering green gnomes propelled a mental orgasm that exploded onto the cumrag of my mind.

Some of you might have already guessed. For some it will all be new. But all are real. Though the victims vary, the perpetrators do not! In every case, we know the religion and the nationality of the terrorists. CATHOLIC. IRISH.

Ireland has the honor of being the only country which never persecuted the Jews-- because she never let them in. --James Joyce

And speaking of James Joyce, there have been great Irish people... a few of them. Most are famous with absolutely no redeeming qualities.

James Joyce succeeded in writing Ulysses, a book so incomprehensible that it could only be outdone by another MORE incomprehensible book, Finnegans Wake, also written by Joyce. Then there’s Oscar Wilde, an egomaniac whose saving grace was his homosexuality.

But when you think of the Irish in 2018 do you think of either Wilde or Joyce? I don’t think so. Take Sean Hannity… please:

Can we pray for the re-election of George Bush?

Here you are. You’re a liberal. You probably define peace as the absence of conflict. I define peace as the ability to defend yourself and blow your enemies into smithereens.

Or how about Bill O’Reilly?:

Yeah, I'm obnoxious. Yeah, I cut people off, yeah, I'm rude. You know why? Because you're busy.

Huh? Well, how about this reflection on the Catholic criminal justice system?

Growing up under the heavy hand of the School Sisters of Notre Dame, it was drummed into me that attending weekly mass was not an option. It was a must to avoid eternal damnation, which was not a prospect filled with many positives. Hell fire was perpetual, and no parole would be offered.

And is it an accident that the Irish-- or the Catholics-- are so often violent... so often fixated on hellfire for sinners and non-believers? Is it just a few bad shamrocks stuck in the shillelagh? I don’t think so.

The problem comes down to the core beliefs. The bacteria infecting the mental intestines is a fundamental part of the being of these people... their birthright… or birthwrong. Check out the horror that’s the foundation of that gutter religion. You can’t make this up!

In Book of 1 Samuel, God instructs King Saul to attack the Amalekites: And utterly destroy all that they have, and do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, infant and nursing child, ox and sheep, camel and donkey. It’s no coincidence that during the Crusades-- that reign of terror to make the world Catholic-- the Popes declared that Muslims were Amalekites. Kill them all and their kids... and their camels! 

But wait, there’s more! Take the Spanish Inquisition… please!... and the litany of torture devices from the Rack to the Iron Maiden (not THAT one… this one):  

It’s clear that Catholicism is brutal… sadistic.. murderous. But what about the Irish? Are they Catholic lite? The smiley face of thumbscrews and the heretic fork?

It sure as a Blarney Stone doesn’t look that way. EVERY ONE of those terrorist attacks in the bullet list at the start of this blog was committed by the Irish. Our cute image of shamrocks and leprechauns is a lie. There’s nothing cute about flying body parts in a terrorist attack. And it’s not over. The NEW IRA (aka Real Irish Republican Army) has already started the terror in this millennium.


Then we need to start with the deportations. Obama was rightly called the deporter in chief. It seems to be a title that the current president wants to assume. I wish him luck.
OK guys in Washington. You wanna deport? Start with Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly. Ship ‘em back where they came from. A one-way ticket to Limerick! Then you can add Pat Buchanan, Steve Bannon… and that’s only the beginning.

What is to be done?

We can’t build a wall in the Atlantic Ocean, but we can take control of our borders. First is putting a stop to all immigrants from Catholic countries-- especially Ireland. Cut the flow of the terrorists. Stop them before they attack again!

No rest until every one of those green-beer guzzling fairy kings and queens is returned to the Emerald Isle. Maybe a few good ones will get mixed into the kit or into the caboodle. But isn’t that risk worth what we’ll be saving?

It’s security for us. Our country. The future. This is a war for our children and grandchildren… a war we must fight. Let the vision of an Irish-free America THWICK into your mind. Doesn't that feel good?

-end-

==============

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at god@mykelboard.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Subscribe to the MYKEL'S READERS Yahoo group readmboard-subscribe@yahoogroups.com]

→ Trump Paramour Dept: Stormy Daniels, the adult-film star who accused Donald Trump of sex in the first degree, has since joined the #metoo movement. The New York Times reports that Ms Daniels claimed that she was forced to have sex in order to keep her job in the porno-industry.

Says Daniels, “It made me feel very uncomfortable.”

→ Feminist Animal Rights Dept: Meanwhile, PETA has complained about the #metoo movement itself.

“The movement is human elitist... speciesist,” says PETA spokeswoman, Anita Berger. “Every day, hundreds of breeders force the horrors of sex on thousands of helpless canines and felines. In any other situation, this would be sexual slavery… or trafficking. But because the victims here have four legs instead of two, the abuse is allowed to continue.”

 

→ Shoutout Dept: Gay punkband, Hamstertube, has been performing at small clubs in Berlin, New York, and San Francisco. But who would have suspected TYLER TEXAS as the next hotbed of homotude? The band booked a solid week at the fancy Yahoo Stadium… every show sold out. Now, Rick Perry, former Texas governor, wants the group to perform the Star-Spangled Banner at the first Texas Rangers home game. It is unclear if the band will agree.

→ Antifa action dept: The Cedar Rapids, Jackson Hole, and Tupelo branches of Antifa have been extremely busy lately. The local divisions of the anti-facist warriors have been breaking into school and public libraries to seize and burn dictionaries!

Says Antifa spokesman, Toby A. Senser, “People have no idea of the awful content of these books. Inside them are nazis, fascists, and racists. It’s too much. There are just some things that should NOT be tolerated.

========================

LINK TRADE DEPARTMENT:

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends... and enemies... in their blogs. So facebook me or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you. You add me.

Here's a start:

• David Goldberg's Busy Microbes Blog
• And another Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com
• Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency
• Sometimes I contribute to an interesting multi-talented blog called OgFomK Arts see me there!
• And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out Yesterday's Recipes.
• And here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour diary of sorts.
• Andy Shelton has an interesting blog here.
• Savage Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.
• Chris Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS. You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue soon.
• George Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books featuring prominently.
• And my long-term pal Sid Yiddish contributes with his Mishegas Master Blog.

BRAIN POLICE or Mykel's Post MRR Column no 52

YOU'RE STILL WRONG

POST MRR COLUMNS

POST MRR COLUMN NUMBER 52

Brain Police!

by Mykel Board

Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.” --Buddha

I know of no country in which there is so little independence of mind and real freedom of discussion as in America. --de Tocqueville

What will you do if the people you knew were the plastic that melted, and the chromium too? WHO ARE THE BRAIN POLICE? --Frank Zappa

Yo! Yeah, I'm talking to you. No, don't look over your shoulder... There's no one there. Yeah you! You... the echo of every tweet that agrees with you. You... the spewer of every fashionable idea that every one of your friends spouts... verbatim. You... the cop-hating language cop. You the safe-spacer... the spouter of thoughts you take for granted... but are wrong. Yeah, I'm talking to you!

FLASH TO PORNHUB.COM: Damn it! A search for bisexual Africans is one page long and it only has lesbos with guys. What's up with that? Where is the doggie-style girl on her hands and knees... one guy on either end... the black twinks kissing each other as the girl gives head to one and takes the other up the wazoo? Forward me the links... please!

Elena once asked me if I still could jerk off only to what's in my mind... if I NEEDED porn to get a stiffy... if I could use my own fantasy to spew the few drops my prostate has left onto that faithful purple rag that hangs next to the computer.

An interesting question. The facile answer is Of course I don't need porn. An attractive REAL LIVE naked person will work just fine. That is a cheat... and it's not the point. The point? Can I construct a fantasy in my mind... one strong enough to get me off? With no pictures... no text... no outside inspiration?

I can do it, if I fantasize about someone I've seen. I can have an orgasmic mental vision if the people are real. I can rise and stroke if I have an image in my head of someone substantive... a real LIVE person. But I cannot create from scratch. I cannot make a face... a body... a dialog... out of nothing... and then jerk off to it. I USED TO be able to do it. But now I can't. Is porn responsible for that inability? We'll talk about that later.

FLASH TO LAS VEGAS NEVADA: Stephen Paddock, an ex-serviceman, open-fires on a Country and Western crowd. Blau... blau. BlauBlauBlau.. A....aaaaa.aaaaaaaaaa...aaaaa...

Bodies crash to the ground. That ground quickly turns to crimson mud. A young woman tries to run from the shots... she trips over a corpse... near corpse?... she's down. Ratatatatat across her back. Two corpses.... Then more. By the time it's over, the body count is 59.

FLASH TO SUTHERLAND SPRINGS, TEXAS: Devin Patrick Kelley enters a church on November 4... He opens fire. Heavy artillery... through the pews... KERPOW! KERPOW! KERPOW! Bullet-torn victims from 24 months to 70 years old.. A sea of bloody Christians... come together to ask for God's blessing and this is what they get. Almost enough to make you think God is not such a nice guy.

FLASH TO NEW YORK... HALLOWEEN: I hate Halloween. Next to Santacon, it's my least favorite holiday of the year. In NYU-land... around the corner from my apartment, Halloween is an excuse for every closet-queen fratboy to dress in borrowed frills and stuffed brassieres.. and parade his drunken idiocy on the street. It's gotten worse since the costume cops make even this unacceptable (sexist, they say)... limiting approved trans-costumes to Superheroes ... and inanimate objects.  

The morning of this Halloween a rented truck in Soho plows into a group of cyclists and pedestrians. The driver shouts ALLAH AKHBAR or something like that. BLAM! Right down the bike path. PITUM! PITUM! PITUM! Like a ball in a bowling alley. Bikes and people fly through the air like bowling pins. Eight people die. 

You don't have to be Nostradamus to predict the reaction. MASSACRE... MASSACRE... TERROR.

Social Justice Warriors twitter up a storm:

On and on... a tsunami of righteous indignation. When I object, I hear that old 1960s refrain. Mykel, you're either part of the solution or you're part of the problem.

I say: YOU'RE WRONG! The solution IS the problem.

FLASH TO HATE-CRIMES: Somebody scrawls a swastika on a tombstone in a Jewish cemetery. It's A HATE CRIME!! That means the perp goes to jail... for graffiti.

It's a dark side street in Greenwich Village. Two young guys... matching haircuts... walk down the street hand-in-hand. The sound of voices rings from behind.

“Let's get 'em!”

A gaggle of colored teens is on the homosexuals. A fist to the ribs... one to the head. One of the attackers holds one of the gay pair. Another reaches into the victim's pocket and and takes his wallet.

“Yeah, you homos... I need this more than you do.”

The colored guys are later arrested and charged with assault and robbery as a hate crime... sentenced to an extra two years in jail... just for the hate part.

FLASH TO JOHNNY CARSON 1960s:

Carson is playing THE GREAT CARNAC! Wearing a huge turban (politically incorrect in the 21^st Century) festooned with jewels, he takes a sealed envelope and holds it to his temple.

“And the answer is PETER PAN!” He says. Then he opens the envelope and reads:

“What do you use to fry a Peter?”

Next envelope:

“And the answer is Hi Diddly Dee.” And he opens the envelope.

“How do you say Good Morning to your diddly dee?”

Get it? Mind reading was a trick. A joke. Something that everyone knew was fake... an impossibility. That was 1965... Sometimes what everybody knew, nobody knows anymore.

Now, what's IN THE MIND is no longer a joke. It's not a parlor trick. It's a crime! TERRORISM, like a HATE-CRIME is in the mind of the criminal... not in the action. It is a thought crime. Your support for HATE-CRIME laws, makes TERRORISM laws possible. YOU... yeah you... give the okay to criminalize what people are thinking.

What makes the Muslim a terrorist while the white guys aren't? It's the same reasoning that makes a subway graffitier an artist and a swastika painter a hate criminal. It's the MIND.

Don't tell me there are other thought crimes. Crimes of intent. The difference between a killing by accident and MURDER. Intent requires SOMETHING in the mind of the perp... but it doesn't say what that something is. If I plan to kill you... that shows intent. If I stalk you. Follow your comings and goings... wait outside your door for you to show yourself... that shows intent. It doesn't matter WHAT the motive is... jealousy... fear... hatred... revenge... intent is the only requirement. It doesn't take a mind-reader to figure it out.

In the 21^st Century, things have changed. Where mind-reading was a joke, now it's deadly serious. People are going to jail... maybe executed... because of their thoughts! Because of what's in their minds.

You're pissed that the white guys massacred and the Arab was a terrorist! The reason is the thought, not the action. Terrorism is for political ends. The THOUGHT must be to make some political change. The massacre-makers had no politics. They were in it for the blood. More people died in the massacres, but the killers didn't THINK terrorist^® thoughts.

I've written before about my feelings on hate crimes. Now we see it reflected in terrorism. The same people who support hate crime laws, now complain about “unfair” terrorism charges. You... yeah you... you don't get it. You're the problem.

Once you allow MIND-CRIMES... once you allow the law to prosecute thoughts... what's in the mind... you unleash a terrible power. How many of my fantasies are illegal... and yours? How many women dream about getting raped... but would never want it in real life? What if there were penalties just for the fantasy? How many diaries... blogs... pre-bedtime jerk-offs... daydreams... nightmares are against the law... or will be?

Is my increasing inability to fantasize a reaction to increasing thought control? I donno, but it might be.

When we police thinking... we stop thinking. Americans suffer from lack of thinking enough. My inability to create a hard-on-inducing image from scratch is a precursor to ALL of our inabilities to imagine anything new, different, transgressive, strange.

The cliched answer to Why do they hate is? is: They're jealous of our freedom. As long as THINKING is against the law, we have no freedom to be jealous of.

--End of the Main Part--

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me by email at god@mykelboard.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available by subscribing to the MYKEL'S READERS Yahoo group readmboard-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

--> I said it in the 80s dept: I found a link to a "song" I wrote in the 1980s that had similar ideas... called "terrorist." You can find it at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqBBIxBYQ1I, but you might have to cut and paste, because Blogger is acting up today.  

-->Scalp em! dept: The Minneapolis Sculpture Garden has dismantled an anti-slavery artwork that tried to recreate the gallows Americans used to help enslave non-white people. Why was it dismantled? Indians!

      Protesters said it was traumatic “because it recalled the execution of 38 tribesmen in 1862.” Traumatic? That's the idea! But you can't talk to people about trauma... it may cause a traumatic reaction.

-->Leaving Absurdistan dept: By the time you read this I'll be out of New York on my yearly adventure to... someplace. This year I'm going to:

     1.Los Angeles from Dec 1 through the 7th

2. New Zealand from Dec 9 through New Year's Eve
3. Tahiti (Pape-ete) for a SECOND New Year's Eve (It's on the other side of the International Dateline, get it?) Till Jan 8
4. San Francisco Till Jan 14

If you'll be in any of those places let me know... and we can meet up. If you've got beer and a couch, that's even better.

-->Busy little beaver dept: There's lots to pimp this month. First, there's an essay I wrote (actually a version of an MRR column), about GG Allin's last show in New York. The book it's in is expensive, but great! Click on it for more information and Amazon ordering. Maybe you can get it used.

-->Something for the girls dept: I contributed a lot of photos, but they only wanted the ones that presented a “positive image.” So I think I have one picture in the book... even then, it's a fine inspiration and memory of a time when females did more than complain about being touched.

-->You're kidding dept: Those who REALLY know me, know that I'm a fan of haiku and senryu (more human, usually humorous, haiku). I don't mean those idiotic 5-7-5 internet joke haiku. I mean REAL stuff. Stuff that ignores 5-7-5 and goes for something deeper. For 25 years or so, I've belonged to The Spring Street Haiku Group. We do small chapbook anthologies. Here's the current one... and it's cheap. If you can't connect by clicking on the book, it's because I'm out of town. Try again at the end of January, or send a crisp $5 bill to me at POB 137, NYC 10012. I'll send you a copy when I get back.

-->Last With A Hard-on dept: Remember when homos celebrated QUEERNESS instead of pushing to be JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE? You can see me, Tom Jennings, Larry Livermore, Bruce LaBruce and the terrific GB Jones (among others). In the Queercore documentary... Here's a link to their facebook page. 

MORE PLUGS

If you're interested in my travel writing , check out http://mykelsdiary.blogspot.com/

You can read some of my classics as far back as the 70s at: http://mykelsoldies.blogspot.com/

I also have some random postings including several on how rich people spend their money.

Those are at: http:/mykelsclippings.blogspot.com

AND FINALLY

LINK TRADE:

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends and enemies in their blogs. So facebook me or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to.

Here's a start:

• David Goldberg's Busy Microbes Blog

• And another Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com

• Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency

• Sometimes I contribute to an interesting multi-talented blog called OgFomK Arts see me there!

• And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out Yesterday's Recipes. 

• And here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour diary of sorts.

See you in hell!

--Mykel Board