YOU'RE STILL WRONG..
MYKEL'S MAY 2020 BLOG
How I spent my lockdown time!
It was a great idea, but it failed. Those who follow me on that combat zone known as facebook are aware that I often get friend requests from mysterious young women… usually showing cleavage. They’re clearly spybots, Russian plants, FBI snoops, or Nigerian princesses who want me to hold their money.
Before deleting them, I screen capture... seizing the image and then posting it. Here’s “Favors” showing two of hers.
Out of the blue comes this note from a friend to tell me that –if I flip the image left to right, and do a Google Image Search-- I can find out the real dirt.
I get a note from the Zap magazine… a German REAL PRINT ZINE that I now write for. “Mykel, do that and write about it.”
I try it on Favors and the results come back. SELFIE! This image is a selfie.
How may ways can you say DUH!!! I try a couple other names and pictures... Bellaa… Chery… Loyce… Thelma… equally useless… responses. Fuck… failure.
I go back to my usual way of spending 24 hours a day inside.
You know... there’s a limit on how much one can strangle the chicken… especially when you’re pushing eighty. Any guy older than 17 knows that you can jerk yourself off until the skin turns red and a friction wound opens that hurts worse than getting fistfucked. Any guy older than 60 knows that you can stroke, shake, lubricate, vibrate, a limpy… until finally it stands… slightly better than a drunken teen… only to droop the second the action lags.
But you’re locked at home… what else is there to do?
I could tinker… I have a webful of instructions… I have a hammer… several screwdrivers… a drawer full of smart chips dug out from old computers. I know... I’ll teach the internet a lesson it’ll never forget. I’ll ZOOM up its e-ass. I’ll SKYPE the skin from its bones. I’ll turn all those things I hate into things that self-destruct.
Okay, there’s Amazon… How can I make Amazon hurt itself? I know… I just got my Economic Stimulus check from Donny Trump… I’ll use it! Use Amazon against Amazon.
First, there’s getting into the various social networks. It’s a maze that he’s got to learn.
Think Trump is a pawn of Russia? Here’s your proof:
Think Africans invented punk rock? Hah, here’s proof they invented EVERYTHING:
Here it is. The home page for ItoldYouSo.com
These days, in New York City, the mayor has established a citizen’s enforcement squad ironically dubbed: Ambassadors. It’s their job to turn in violators of social distancing and mask wearing laws. Besides that, all upright citizens are encouraged to report violations to the cops… and each precinct will maintain one COVID RULE VIOLATION cop car to take care of complaints. Why? For the safety of everyone, of course.
→ Don’t Forget The Cork Dept: Thanks to my friend, and probable receiver of my presidential vote in 2020, Sid Yiddish, who found a great MSN story on more Corona research.
LINK TRADE DEPARTMENT:
- From my friend and fellow poet, Richard Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com
- I post a blog for Kyle Nonnemon, in prison for a ton of shit. He's a smart guy, with a passion for industrial metal and a general detestation of humankind. You can read his blog at: apothelema.blogspot.com
- Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency
- And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out .Yesterday's Recipes
- And here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour diary of sorts.
- Andy Shelton has an interesting blog here
- Savage Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.
- Chris Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS. You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue soon.
- George Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books featured prominently.