It’s
Last
Week Tonight
with bespectacled British comedian, John Oliver. I don’t get HBO,
but I can watch on
YouTube.
I do.
Oliver
sits behind a desk. As he talks about Climate Change®
the upper left corner of the screen flashes pictures
of fires, melting polar caps and the obligatory polar bear stranded
on an ice-floe.
Then
the
comedian complains about
network coverage of the phenomenon.
“It’s always
one-on-one,” says Oliver, “the
moderator in the middle, Bill
Nye,
the science guy, on one side, and some schmuck on the other side.”
Oliver
claims
this presents
an unfair
picture of climate science. He says that 97% of climate scientists
agree that global warming is human-made-- far
from the
50-50
implied
by only one guy on each side.
To
make the presentation more fair, Oliver brings in two people who
agree with the schmuck… and 97 people
who
agree with the science guy.
The
audience laughs.
Now,
before we go on, I want to make my own position clear on this.
1.
Climate change is real. Just
watching
weather reports over the last 10 years should prove that. It’s
something every Eskimo who sees
his
igloo slowly
melt
knows instinctively.
2. With the exception of the Eskimo
who never
leaves his refrigerator in Point Barrow…
No
educated people deny that the climate is changing. They
don’t think climate change is “a hoax.” The
climate has always
been changing. There is only denial on the cause of the change.
Oliver’s 3% believes that cause is not humans. Climate
change killed the dinosaurs for fuck’s sake. Was that because of
the gasoline engine?
3.
I believe things are more complicated, and while there is natural
climate change… and it’s probably happening… humans are
responsible for making it much more destructive and faster-acting.
Now
back to our regularly scheduled program.
I’m at the
podiatrist’s. My passion for long walks.. and my love of army boots
and cop shoes has injured my left foot. The
doctor is
putting a cast on the foot. He talks to me through a black mask over
his mouth and nose. I talk to him through a blue one.
“I’m
sorry,” I say. “Would
you mind removing your mask? My hearing is lousy and I can’t
understand what you’re saying.”
He
takes off his mask. I see that he’s smiling.
“I’m
happy you don’t care about that mask stuff,” he says. “I know
the government and the medical establishment don’t want people to
feel helpless in the midst of this pandemic.”
“I
prefer to call it a plague,” I tell him.
He laughs…
and continues, “If people feel there’s nothing they can do,
they’ll panic. You’ve got to give them something to hold on to.
Some way they can believe they have control over this pandem… er…
plague.”
I
laugh. “You got it!” I say.
On
facebook, I connect to a
video
of
a doctor lecturing about how
useless masks are… and how they might, in fact, spread the disease.
She gives the example of going out to eat, taking off the mask,
setting it on the table next to the food, possibly contaminating
fingers, the table, the dishes, etc…
Soon
after I post the video on facebook, come the answers:
“Yeah,
Mykel, you found a doctor who doesn’t believe in masks... one in a
hundred. Leave it to you.”
“One in a hundred? Who do
you think you are?” I don’t ask. “John Oliver with the Science
Guy?”
Now
before we go on, I want to make my position clear:
1.
COVID-19
is
real. I
know several people who have had it, and the father of one of my best
friends has died from it.
2.
I
don’t think most people who are against mask-wearing think COVID is
“a
hoax.” The
virus is real and a killer. But they
believe mask wearing… especially the paper things and
kerchiefs you see on the street… are not effective against it. They
are a palliative… and may actually spread the disease. (Watch the
video)
3.
I believe things are more complicated. In
many ways, the virus is nature’s way of keeping house. Cleaning out
humankind… the most destructive force on earth. We can mitigate the
effect, but we should not over-react.
Lockdowns
kill people, depriving
them of income, doctor visits, and the security of not being
isolated. Lockdowns
drive
people nuts, impoverish the nation, instill a fear of other humans
as deadly.
They
spread a philosophy
of “Don’t Wait... Separate.” Social
Distancing is
anti-social.
FLASH
TO POLAND 1514: There’s Nicolaus Copernicus up on roof of the
student dorms. Looking through a telescope… making notes…
checking and double-checking.
He sketches the sun… its
path through the sky… the stars… the way they move. Then checks
and double-checks.
“It
must be,” he thinks… in Polish. “I’ve done the research. I’ve
confirmed it… tested it. It must be. The earth revolves around the
sun… not the other way around. It’s the only explanation.”
For
weeks, young Nic checks and double checks his figures. He tells a few
close friends. Most pooh-pooh his theory… call him a nut. A few
agree to go with him, to check their own telescopes… to check their
own figures... and see if they match. They do.
FLASH
AHEAD TO 1633, Italy: The Italian astronomer Galileo Galilei, has
heard about the Copernican theory and bought his own telescope to
check it out. Amazingly, it checks out. He can see with his own eyes
and his own figures that it is the earth moving in an orbit… not
the sun.
Galileo
is not as shy as Copernicus was. He broadcasts his finding. Italy is
stunned. His fellow astronomers gather to condemn the man… call
him a conspiracy nut… a follower of the mythical PeeAnon.
“But
it moves,” Galileo famously says, talking about the earth traveling
around the sun.
The Polish nation turns to TuTube to watch La
Scorsa
Settimana
Stasera
where
Johanus
Oliverus talks
about astronomy. He talks about the earth-centric deniers… and how
the
SCIENCE says that earth is the center of the solar system.
On
one side of the host is Galileo, on the other side is The Pope.
Johanus introduces each side, then explains (in Italian)… that in
order to make an accurate representation of scientific consensus, he
will bring in two astronomers of the sun-is-central Galileo school…
and 6483 followers of earth-is-central Papal school. And the debate
begins. Galileo
loses.
Get
it? Science isn’t politics. It’s not a democracy. That a majority
of scientists believe something, doesn’t make it true. Science is
always going back on itself. There are a few dissenters and either
they disappear, or get a bigger following… then there are more
dissenters. Isaac Newton, then Albert Einstein, then Max Planck…
All right in their theories... until a few dissenters show they’re
not.
To quote a great dissenter: “John Oliver… YOU’RE
WRONG!”
=============================
I
want to write a little about the Capitol
protests. I’m writing a few days before the inauguration, and state
capitals (and capitols) are on high alert.
I’m
disgusted by the whole thing, but not surprised. A fratboy protest,
complete with costumes and facepaint, is called “an insurrection.”
Four
people die…so
it’s a DEADLY insurrection.
One
protester is
shot
by the cops. One
cop is
hit
in the head by a flying fire extinguisher. Three
protesters die
from their
own excessive stupidity... wall
climbing, balcony jumping… like that.
An
effigy noose is “evidence” that the protesters planned to hang
the vice president and the speaker of the house. Despite
the
rope’s non-useability
as a hanging device.
Insurrectionists
do not wear Viking hats... unless they're real Vikings. They enter
firing. They’re soldiers, not jocks…. But Congress takes its revenge. In the name of healing®,
they
impeach
the president ten days before he leaves office anyway. In 50 years,
this’ll be a Netflix comedy. It’s already a very sick real-life
one.
Time
has passed. It’s now 8:10 on the day of the inauguration. Looks
like I was mistaken. Here’s the apology I post on facebook:
“I
want to apologize for my earlier skepticism. I just didn't see the
coordinated rebel attack on every state capitol, the violence in the
streets, the machine gun fire in Washington. I was making fun of this
whole "armed revolution all over the country" bit. I
thought it was incredibly stupid panic, by a population over-reacting
to little more than a fratboy party gone wrong... but these massive
attacks have proved that I was mistaken.”
See
you in hell,
Mykel
Board
ENDNOTES:
[You can contact me on facebook
or by email at mykelboard@gmail.com.
Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music
or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137,
New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified
when anything new is available. Send
me an email
with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. Back blogs and columns are at
https://mykelsblog.blogspot.com]
–>
Go
vegan and smoke dept: Research
done in India seems to show that vegetarians and smokers are less
susceptible to the disease than others. When that was reported in the
US… vegetarians went on an I-TOLD-YOU-SO rampage. You can see the
carnage… er… vegage... all over facebook and twitter. But
smoking? Few
people will
dare believe that smoking can lower your risk. But
it moves,”
say the few brave doctors.
–>
Meanwhile dept: The
trusty New York Post reports
that two Chinese boys died while (and likely FROM) wearing masks
while doing strenuous exercises. In their case, heavy running. The
masks
restricted their breathing. How many kids are going to suffer brain
damage from their parents trying to protect them?
According
to The Post report
about the Chinese deaths,
The
death certificate listed the cause as sudden cardiac arrest, but no
autopsy was performed.
The
boy’s father said he believes that the mask his son was required to
wear to school played a role in his death.
See
you in hell… again,
MB
LINK
TRADE DEPARTMENT:
I
read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice
to support my friends and enemies in their blogs. So facebook
me or email
me
if
you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you.
You add me.
Here's
a start:
Here’s
Richard Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com
Poetry
and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The
Latency
And
my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He
cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out Yesterday's
Recipes.
Rock-writer
and historian extraordinaire, Jim Testa, has continued his great zine
online. Jersey
Beat
is
still going!
And
here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour
diary of
sorts.
Andy
Shelton has an interesting blog here.
Savage
Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing
for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains
that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.
Chris
Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS.
You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue
soon.
George
Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books
featured prominently. If there’s no link here (I can’t find it
temporarily), then Google… er… Duckduckgo him for information.
And
my long-term pal Sid Yiddish contributes with his Mishegas
Master Blog.
And
connect to TRUST Zine, a long-running German punk zine… that STILL
PRINTS!!! Yeah, they have a website too… of course! It’s here.
Here
are a couple video links.
This from Jon Cox
https://squelchchamber1.bandcamp.com/album/down-so-low
And
this
one from
my very long-time friend Roger Armstrong.
Jim
Testa moved his long running zine, Jersey Beat, to the blogosphere
awhile back. You can read it here.
Jim also recommended a kind of unique album… in a style you don’t
see to much of these days… or any days. Neo-Hassidic Rock Opera.
You can stream the album here.
Kyle
Nonneman is in prison in Portland. At least he can’t be kidnapped
by the secret police… I think. I post his
blog for
him, he can’t do it from the klink. Lots of stuff about noise
metal… and some very weird politics that will either fascinate or
repulse you… or both.
Oh
yeah, then there’s me. I have a blog of stuff I’ve written mostly
from last century. You might enjoy it. Then again, you might not.
It’s here.
I
have a very occasional blog about how rich people are just like us…
same needs, same desires, you know. You can read it here.
Let
me know if you have a blog… or a print zine… or a YouTube and
want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already
seen mine. god@mykelboard.com
