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MRR COLUMNS
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MRR COLUMN NUMBER 47a
War!
by Mykel Board
Every
gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired
signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are
not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms
is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its
laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children.
This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds
of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.
― Dwight D. Eisenhower
― Dwight D. Eisenhower
It's a
playground. In back of Lee Avenue Elementary school... just after a
rain... Children out for recess.
A boy about 6
years old... his shirt: think horizontal red and black lines ...
walks up to a mud puddle... BLAM! Jumps in... spraying mud from here
to Timbuck Three... covering his baby Nikes... his school shorts and
striped shirt.
![]() |
Closest I could dig up on Google Image |
In another
corner of the playground... a girl slightly younger than the little
boy... blond curls... like Goldilocks... walks directly to a
puddle... stops just before it... kneels, looks at her reflection...
an advertisement for Gerber... until SPLAT... She slaps both hands
down into the puddle... the dirt flies... adding mud polka dots to
the blue stripes on her oh-too-cute dress.
The older kids
are on the basketball court... trying to dribble on the wet concrete.
Throwing down a dry ball. It bounces back... now wet. A guy with
yogurt colored skin wears a Yankees jersey... weird. This is
basketball... and he's wearing a Yankees shirt? You know..
pinstripes... to play basketball?
Anyway, a tall
nappy-haired guy from the other team is on the Yankees guy... Fast...
the guy with the Yankees shirt throws the ball to a tall
freckle-faced kid... red hair. A trail of dirty water follows the
airborne ball.. like a tail follows a comet. The tall guy turns on
his heel and goes for the redhead. The redhead throws the wet ball to
the Yankee. He grabs for it... It skids off his hands... lands smack
into a puddle sending a shower of mud up and onto the the Yankee
jersey. I knew it would happen.
FLASH:
I'm a sociologist... or a journalist... or a politician. Somehow I
get the job of analyzing the mud-splashes on the playground. Well,
it's clear. What did the splashes have in common? THEY WERE ALL
WEARING STRIPES. Conclusion? Stripes attract mud. Solution? Ban
stripes from school... stop the mudness.
Hey buckaroo,
didn't you miss something. Yeah all the clothes in this case were
striped, but maybe other kids got muddied too... and maybe the reason
they got muddy was that THEY'RE KIDS! And that's what kids do.
Stripes have nothing to do with it.
FLASH TO
ORLANDO SOME MONDAY IN MAY: John
Robert Neumann Jr. walks into his former Orlando company through a
rear door. KABLAM! He opens fire, hitting five of his former
coworkers... Then he turns the gun on himself. KERPLOW!
Neumann, a
veteran honorably discharged from the U.S. Army in 1999, had a
“troubled” home life when he was a child, says a close friend.
The Press
says it was depression.
FLASH TO NYC
MARCH 27: A white US Army veteran
accused of fatally stabbing a 66-year-old black man has been charged
with murder as an "act of terrorism" after telling police
he was planning a race-based killing spree.
James
Jackson, 28, "prowled the streets of New York for three days in
search of a black person to assassinate in order to launch a campaign
of terrorism against our Manhattan community and the values we
celebrate," Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance says.
The Press
says it was racism.
FLASH TO FORT
LAUDERDALE January 2017: Esteban
Santiago walks into the Fort Lauderdale Airport and kills people...
shoots 'em with a handgun. PACHING! PACHING! PACHING!
George Piro,
the FBI's special agent in charge in Miami, tells reporters that
Santiago was turned over to local authorities and he voluntarily
submitted to a mental health evaluation.
"His
erratic behavior concerned FBI agents," he says.
The military
said Santiago's nine years of service in the National Guard included
one 10-month tour of Iraq, where he was awarded a combat action
badge.
The press
says he was a loony bird.
FLASH TO FORT
HOOD TEXAS: On Nov. 5, 2009, Maj.
Nidal Malik Hasan an
army psychologist starts shooting unarmed soldiers. RATTATTTATT!
RATTATTATTT! Pfitttt! They scatter... hide under desks... under
tables. Score 12 soldiers and one civilian dead. 30 wounded.
Prosecutors say one of his motivations was to kill as many soldiers
as he could in order to wage jihad on American military personnel. A
Senate report calls it “the worst act of terrorism on American soil
since the Sept. 11 attacks.”
The press
says he's a Muslim Jihadist.
FLASH TO MAY
29 2017: Memorial Day EVERYWHERE
in the US. Who is the memorial for? All those marching firemen,
cops... bag pipes, hairy legs under man-skirts.... All those
floats... wreaths... politicians.... a parade of marching music... No
floats with scantily clad girls... just girlscouts... marching in
blue and white... sexy as a toothless meth freak...
They're
marching for the heroes. The heroes in war. And who are they? Are
they the ones who protected the innocent? Are they the ones who hid
Jews in their cellars or threw their bodies over Syrian children to
protect them from Obama's drones? Are the HEROES the ones who stopped
the war... who negotiated the peace?
You bet your
shattered tibia they're not. The HEROES are the killers themselves!
They're the guys BEHIND the guns, not in front of them.
In New York
the Heroes of 9/11®
are the
fire-fighters, the cops, the ambulance drivers who helped people. Not
the pilots who flew the planes into those buildings. I suppose,
somewhere, they're celebrating those guys... the pilots... as heroes.
Yet we look at THEM as Muslims, Al Qaeda, Extremists... not heroes...
without seeing that they're all.. uniform or not... officially or
not... American or not... KILLERS.
Oh, it's
Muslims. It's guns. It's Donald Trump. Like sociologists in a
playground, Americans can't see the kids for the stripes. There has
been no country this millennium putting less value on human life
(except if it's unborn), than the US. Every president (except Jimmy
Carter-- my favorite) wants his own war. Commander-in-chief doesn't
mean commander of healthcare and chief of wealth redistribution... it
means killing people! America's answer to EVERYTHING is KILL PEOPLE.
In the newest
Godzilla movie, when Godzilla attacks, the Japanese diplomats want to
use liquid nitrogen to freeze the monster and send him back to the
oceans? The Americans? Nuke 'im! That's how the world sees us, and
the world is right.
For
Americans... EVERYTHING is war. There's a WAR ON POVERTY, a WAR ON
DRUGS, WAR ON TERROR, CLASS WAR, GENDER WAR, RACE WAR, WAR ON BAD
HAIR... War is the metaphor for everything.
I start my day
losing the war on sleep. My overfilled bladder wakes me up, and I run
to fight the war on last-night's beer. After coffee, the beer war
continues... splashing brown rockets into the toilet.
The war on
shoe-leather gets me to the train station. On leaving the train, the
war on rudeness makes me shoulder my way through the enemy fighting
to enter the car before I've left it. Finally, I'm at school,
fighting the war on bad-English by teaching my students that the whom
and shall
they learned in Japan are casualties of that war.
For lunch, I
fight the war on my wallet, buying halal chicken-over-rice for $5 and
eating it in the park... occasionally fighting the war on mosquitoes.
When the day's over, I go home and fight the war on sleeplessness
with the rhythmic pump-action machine gun of xvideos.com.
War doesn't
have to be the metaphor. Why not health?
Instead of fighting
poverty, we could cure
it. Instead of a war
on hunger,
we could alleviate it. How about magic? Instead of race war we could
make race disappear.
Instead of killing poverty, we could levitate
the poor.
Fat chance
that's gonna happen. Instead, when the next Muslim brings to the West
a taste of the terror Middle East citizens feel every day... When a
great equalizer makes life in London, Paris or New York feel like
Kabul, Gaza or Mosul ... it'll be because he's a
Muslim. When the next
veteran open fires in a Florida nightclub it's because he's a
homophobe. When Donny
Trump nukes Pyongyang, it's because he has
little hands. When I go to
Yankee stadium and everyone stands up and applauds a uniformed
military woman, it's because she's been defending
America-- or my freedom.
Listen
buckaroos, the ACLU has done more to defend my freedom than any
hundred gals with bazookas. Unions have protected Americans more than
any hundred cops with guns. As long as we keep killers as heroes,
there sure as fuck will be more of them.
ENDNOTES:
[You can contact me by email at god@mykelboard.com.
Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music
or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137,
New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified
when anything new is available by subscribing to the MYKEL'S READERS
Yahoo group readmboard-subscribe@yahoogroups.com]
-->
Cultural
Appropriation dept:
A tortilla shop in Portland was
forced to shut down
because the two white women who owned it learned how to make their
tortillas in Mexico. The local ethnic purity cops complained that the
pair had “culturally appropriated” the recipes from Mexico and
had no right to use them for their own profit.
Next:
I'm going to shut down those goyish Southern Court houses who have
culturally appropriated OUR ten-commandments for their own judicial
propaganda. And, I heard, the Japanese will be suing for use of
microwaves, DVDs and animated characters with big eyes.
-->Windows
Up Means Enclosed Dept:
Harry Kraemer is the 76 year old owner of Sparkles
Cleaning Service
in London Ontario. He was alone in his SUV recently and decided to
light up a cigarette. Smoke-Free
Ontario®
officers saw this and ran to give
him a ticket.
Why? Since his vehicle was registered to his business, and the
windows were up, the van was an "enclosed workspace."
-->But
was he a veteran? dept: Jose
Chacon,
39, was arrested in Florida after allegedly fatally shooting an
acquaintance who laughed at Chacon's first shot attempt. That time
the gun failed to fire. He taunted Jose to try again. He did. The
second time, it worked.
-->Keeping
the pressure on dept:
I want to thank reader George Metesky for suggesting a Bring
Back
Mykel
concerted
effort directed at Maximum
Rock'n'Roll. He
forwarded me an answer to a letter MRR printed where the editors
excuse my firing not
as censorship for content,
but because I “refuse to answer letters in the letters section.”
That's
a lie.
In
any case, please send comments to mrr@maximumrocknroll.com
with the subject line: BRING BACK MYKEL. Let me know how they answer.
-end-
If you're
interested in my travel writing (not updated recently) check out
http://mykelsdiary.blogspot.com/
You can read
some of my classics as far back as the 70s at:
http://mykelsoldies.blogspot.com/
I also have
some random postings including several on how rich people spend their
money. Those are at: http:/mykelsclippings.blogspot.com
See you in hell!