Showing posts with label Mykel Board. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mykel Board. Show all posts

Saturday, March 07, 2026

SPECIAL POST... my pal Kyle N. fed me to AI This

 Hi! My friend Kyle N. fed my current blog entry to AI and then asked it to tell him about ME! This is what he got back:

AI ON MB

Critical Analysis of Mykel Board’s March 2026 Blog Column: “The Year of the Whores”

Introduction

In March 2026, Mykel Board—a veteran punk columnist, provocateur, and satirist—published a blog column titled “The Year of the Whores.” The piece, appearing amid a fraught American political season and in the wake of new revelations from the Jeffrey Epstein files, is a dense, layered work that blends scatological humor, biting satire, and cultural critique. This report provides a comprehensive analysis of Board’s column, examining its themes, tone, rhetorical strategies, and cultural commentary. Special attention is given to the column’s use of satire, its blending of fiction and reality, and its invocation of figures such as Jeffrey Epstein, Mark Twain, and Noam Chomsky. The analysis situates the column within both its immediate historical context and the broader tradition of American satirical writing, exploring how Board’s work critiques media sensationalism, moral panic, and American attitudes toward sex, power, and scandal.


I. Author Background and Editorial Stance

Mykel Board: Biography and Oeuvre

Mykel Board, born in 1950 in Long Island, New York, is a writer, musician, and long-standing figure in the American punk and underground scenes. Board’s career spans decades, with his most prominent work being his column in Maximum Rocknroll, as well as numerous books, essays, and blog posts. His writing is characterized by a blend of irreverence, intellectual playfulness, and a penchant for challenging social taboos.

Board’s editorial stance is rooted in skepticism toward authority, a distrust of mainstream narratives, and a commitment to exposing hypocrisy—especially around issues of sex, power, and cultural norms. His columns often employ grotesque humor, scatological imagery, and a self-consciously unreliable narrative voice. Board’s background in punk culture informs his approach: he values subversion, directness, and a willingness to offend in the service of critique.


B. Recent Columns and Recurring Themes (Feb–Mar 2026)

In the months leading up to “The Year of the Whores,” Board’s blog columns have repeatedly interrogated the nature of truth, the proliferation of lies in media and politics, and the erosion of trust in institutions. His February 2026 column, “THAT’S NOT TRUE!,” for example, explores the death of truth in the age of artificial intelligence and media manipulation, using bodily metaphors and fictionalized anecdotes to blur the line between fact and fabrication.


Recurring themes in Board’s recent work include:


The unreliability of media and the constructed nature of news.

The social function of lying and the limits of “truth-telling.”

The grotesque and the scatological as metaphors for cultural decay.

The critique of moral panics, especially those centered on sex and scandal.

The interplay between sincerity and irony in public discourse.

These themes set the stage for the March 2026 column, which synthesizes Board’s ongoing concerns with a timely focus on the Epstein files and the American obsession with sexual scandal.


II. Immediate Historical and Political Context (March 2026)

A. The 2026 Political Landscape

March 2026 finds the United States in the midst of a contentious midterm election cycle, with early primaries in Arkansas and North Carolina setting the tone for national political debates. The political climate is marked by heightened polarization, ongoing debates about government transparency, and a series of high-profile scandals involving public figures.


B. The Epstein Files and Public Revelations

The release of the Epstein files by the Department of Justice in late 2025 and early 2026 has reignited public fascination with the intersections of sex, power, and elite networks. The files include emails, financial records, and correspondence implicating a wide array of figures, including former President Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and, to the shock of many, the leftist intellectual Noam Chomsky.

The media’s coverage of these revelations has been characterized by sensational headlines, speculation, and a focus on salacious details—often at the expense of nuance or context. The public reaction has included both outrage and fatigue, with some commentators decrying the “tabloidization” of political discourse.

C. Cultural Flashpoints: Sex, Scandal, and Stigma

The broader cultural context includes ongoing debates about sex work, the meaning of “whore” as a term of stigma, and the rise of platforms like OnlyFans, which have complicated traditional narratives about agency, exploitation, and respectability in sex work. The invocation of “The Year of the Whores” as a title is itself a play on a notorious BBC subtitle blunder from 2014, in which “Year of the Horse” was mistranslated as “Year of the Whores,” highlighting the persistent anxieties and taboos surrounding sexuality in public life.

III. Thematic Analysis of “The Year of the Whores”

A. Satire and the Critique of Moral Panic

At its core, Board’s column is a satirical meditation on the American tendency toward moral panic—especially around issues of sex and scandal. Drawing on the tradition of Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal,” Board employs irony, hyperbole, and grotesque imagery to expose the absurdities of public discourse.

1. Satire as Critique and Entertainment

According to contemporary satire theory, satire is defined by its dual purpose: to critique and to entertain, with these functions necessarily interacting. Board’s column exemplifies this dynamic, using humor and shock to provoke critical reflection on the ways in which society constructs and responds to sexual “deviance.”

2. The Anatomy of a Moral Panic

Board’s invocation of the Epstein files and the ensuing media frenzy is a textbook example of what sociologist Stanley Cohen termed a “moral panic”—a process in which a group or behavior is exaggeratedly framed as a threat to societal values, leading to public outrage and calls for control. Board’s satirical lens reveals how the media, politicians, and “moral entrepreneurs” collaborate to manufacture and sustain such panics, often with little regard for proportionality or evidence.

3. The “Whore” as Folk Devil

By titling his column “The Year of the Whores,” Board foregrounds the role of the “whore” as a symbolic “folk devil”—a figure onto whom society projects its anxieties about morality, sexuality, and power. The term “whore” is both a literal reference to sex work and a metaphor for anyone deemed to have transgressed social norms, especially around sex.

B. Media Sensationalism and the Tabloidization of Scandal

Board’s column is deeply concerned with the ways in which media sensationalism distorts public understanding of sex, power, and scandal. He lampoons the “market-driven journalism” that prioritizes lurid headlines, personal attacks, and spectacle over substantive analysis.

1. The Mechanics of Sensationalism

Drawing on media studies scholarship, Board’s critique aligns with the view that sensationalism involves the over-hyping of events, the use of emotionally charged language, and the focus on personalities and private lives at the expense of broader social issues. The coverage of the Epstein files, with its emphasis on celebrity connections and salacious details, is a prime example.

2. The Erosion of Truth and the Rise of “Fake News”

Board’s satirical narrative blurs the line between fact and fiction, echoing his February 2026 column’s argument that “truth is dead” in the age of AI, deepfakes, and media manipulation. He mocks the idea that videos or documents are inherently trustworthy, highlighting the ease with which images and narratives can be fabricated or distorted.

3. The Audience’s Complicity

Board implicates the audience in the cycle of sensationalism, suggesting that the public’s appetite for scandal and spectacle drives the media’s choices. He likens sensational news to “junk food”—irresistible but ultimately empty, contributing to a culture of cynicism and distrust.

C. American Attitudes Toward Sex, Power, and Scandal

Board’s column is a sustained critique of American cultural attitudes toward sex, power, and scandal. He exposes the double standards, hypocrisies, and anxieties that shape public discourse.


1. The Stigma of Sex Work and the “Whorearchy”

Board’s use of the term “whore” is deliberately provocative, inviting reflection on the ways in which sex workers are stigmatized, marginalized, and denied agency. He references the concept of the “whorearchy”—the hierarchy of respectability within sex work, with online performers at the top and street-based workers at the bottom. Board’s satire challenges the notion that sex work is inherently dishonorable, highlighting the contradictions in how society values and polices sexuality.


2. The Politics of Scandal

By invoking figures like Jeffrey Epstein, Donald Trump, and Noam Chomsky, Board situates his critique within the long history of American political sex scandals. He draws attention to the selective outrage and partisan uses of scandal, noting that accusations of sexual impropriety are often wielded as weapons in broader struggles for power.


3. The Language of Shame and Control

Board’s column interrogates the language used to describe sex, scandal, and deviance. He exposes how terms like “whore” function as tools of social control, marking certain individuals as unworthy or dangerous. He also highlights the ways in which laws and policies reinforce stigma, denying sex workers basic rights and protections.


IV. Rhetorical Strategies and Satirical Devices

A. Irony, Parody, and Hyperbole

Board’s column is a masterclass in the use of satirical rhetorical devices. He employs irony—saying the opposite of what he means—to expose contradictions and hypocrisies. Parody is used to mimic the style of news reports, political speeches, and moralistic commentary, subverting their authority. Hyperbole—deliberate exaggeration—serves to amplify the absurdities of public discourse.


1. Irony as Subversive Critique

Irony is central to Board’s approach. By presenting outrageous claims in a deadpan tone, he forces readers to question the sincerity and logic of mainstream narratives. This technique echoes the tradition of Swift’s “A Modest Proposal,” in which the proposal to eat Irish children is delivered with mock-seriousness to highlight the inhumanity of British policy.


2. Parody and the Mimicry of Authority

Board parodies the conventions of journalism and political rhetoric, adopting the language and structure of news reports only to undermine their credibility. This strategy draws attention to the constructed nature of media narratives and the ease with which authority can be feigned or subverted.


3. Hyperbole and the Grotesque

Exaggeration is used to both shock and amuse. Board’s scatological metaphors—comparing lies to excrement, for example—serve to debase the lofty pretensions of public discourse and to remind readers of the bodily realities that underlie social taboos.


B. The Blending of Fiction and Reality

A hallmark of Board’s column is its deliberate blurring of the boundaries between fiction and reality. He employs metafictional techniques, unreliable narration, and self-referential asides to destabilize the reader’s sense of what is “true”.


1. Metafiction and Self-Awareness

Board’s narrative voice is self-consciously aware of its own artifice. He frequently breaks the fourth wall, addressing the reader directly and commenting on the process of storytelling. This metafictional stance invites readers to reflect on the constructed nature of all narratives, including those presented as “news” or “fact”.


2. The Unreliable Narrator

Board adopts the persona of an unreliable narrator, admitting to embellishments, fabrications, and outright lies. This strategy both satirizes the unreliability of media and challenges the reader to engage critically with the text, rather than passively accepting its claims.


3. Fake-News Aesthetics

By mimicking the style and format of news reports, Board’s column participates in the aesthetics of “fake news”—a genre that both parodies and critiques the conventions of journalism. This approach underscores the difficulty of distinguishing truth from fiction in the contemporary media landscape.


C. Grotesque and Scatological Humor

Board’s use of grotesque and scatological humor is both a stylistic signature and a rhetorical strategy. By invoking the body, excrement, and taboo subjects, he disrupts the decorum of public discourse and exposes the underlying anxieties that shape cultural attitudes toward sex and scandal.


1. The Scatological as Satirical Weapon

The use of scatology in literature has a long tradition as a means of leveling social hierarchies, exposing hypocrisy, and provoking philosophical reflection. Board’s metaphors of “talking shit” and “power shits” serve to debase the pretensions of truth-telling and to highlight the excesses and absurdities of language itself.


2. Shock Tactics and the Limits of Decorum

By deliberately violating norms of taste and propriety, Board’s humor functions as a form of cultural critique. The shock value of his imagery forces readers to confront the realities that polite society prefers to ignore, especially around issues of sex, power, and bodily functions.


3. The Carnivalesque and the Leveling of Hierarchies

Drawing on Bakhtin’s concept of the carnivalesque, Board’s scatological humor serves to invert social hierarchies and to create a space in which the low and the high, the sacred and the profane, are brought into contact. This leveling effect is central to the column’s satirical project.


V. Intertextuality and Allusion: Epstein, Twain, and Chomsky

A. Jeffrey Epstein: Scandal, Files, and Symbolism

The figure of Jeffrey Epstein looms large in Board’s column, serving as both a literal subject and a symbol of the intersections between sex, power, and elite networks. The release of the Epstein files, with their revelations about the complicity of powerful men and the failures of institutions, provides a backdrop for Board’s critique.


1. The Function of the Epstein Reference

By invoking Epstein, Board taps into the collective anxieties and fascinations that the case has generated. Epstein becomes a symbol of the ways in which sexual deviance is both sensationalized and instrumentalized in public discourse, often to distract from deeper structural issues.


2. The Chomsky-Epstein Correspondence

The revelation of Noam Chomsky’s correspondence with Epstein is particularly significant, as it disrupts the binary between “good” and “bad” actors and complicates narratives of moral purity. Board uses this allusion to challenge the tendency to divide the world into heroes and villains, suggesting that complicity and ambiguity are endemic to systems of power.


B. Noam Chomsky: Intellectual Authority and Moral Ambiguity

Chomsky’s presence in the column serves multiple functions. As a symbol of intellectual authority and leftist critique, his association with Epstein is both shocking and revealing. Board uses this allusion to interrogate the limits of moral judgment and the dangers of hero-worship.


1. The Fallibility of Icons

By highlighting Chomsky’s correspondence with Epstein, Board exposes the fallibility of even the most revered figures. This move aligns with the satirical tradition of puncturing pretensions and challenging the sanctity of authority.


2. The Complexity of Complicity

Board’s treatment of Chomsky is nuanced, acknowledging both his contributions and his blind spots. The column suggests that the desire for clear-cut villains and heroes is itself a form of moral simplification, one that obscures the complexities of real-world power relations.


C. Mark Twain: Satirical Lineage and American Critique

The invocation of Mark Twain situates Board’s column within a long tradition of American satire. Twain’s work is characterized by humor, irony, and a relentless critique of social hypocrisy and human folly.


1. Twain’s Satirical Techniques

Twain’s use of exaggeration, irony, and the grotesque serves as a model for Board’s own rhetorical strategies. Both writers employ humor as a means of exposing the absurdities of social conventions and the contradictions of American culture.


2. The Relevance of Twain’s Critique

By referencing Twain, Board aligns himself with a tradition of satire that seeks not only to entertain but to provoke critical reflection and, potentially, social change. Twain’s observations about the preference for “polished lies” over uncomfortable truths resonate with Board’s critique of contemporary media and politics.


VI. Theoretical Frameworks: Satire, Moral Panic, and Media Critique

A. Satire Theory: Definitions and Functions

Satire is a protean genre, encompassing a range of forms and purposes. Contemporary theorists argue that satire is defined by its dual function: to critique and to entertain, with these purposes necessarily interacting.


1. Satire vs. Sincerity

The interplay between satire and sincerity is central to Board’s column. By adopting a tone that oscillates between earnestness and irony, Board forces readers to question the boundaries between critique and complicity, entertainment and moral judgment.


2. The Risks and Rewards of Satire

Satire is inherently risky, as it depends on the audience’s ability to recognize irony and to distinguish between literal and figurative meaning. Misinterpretation is always possible, especially in an age of fragmented media and polarized discourse.


B. Moral Panic Theory

The concept of moral panic, developed by Stanley Cohen and others, provides a useful lens for understanding Board’s critique of the Epstein scandal and its media coverage.


1. The Stages of Moral Panic

Moral panics follow a predictable pattern: identification of a threat, media amplification, public outrage, official response, and eventual decline. Board’s column satirizes each stage, exposing the ways in which moral entrepreneurs and the media collaborate to construct and sustain panics.


2. The Role of Folk Devils

The designation of “folk devils”—figures who embody the perceived threat—is central to the process of moral panic. Board’s use of the term “whore” highlights the ways in which certain individuals or groups are scapegoated and stigmatized in the service of social control.


C. Media Sensationalism and the Construction of Reality

Board’s column engages with theories of media framing, constructivism, and the social responsibility of journalism.


1. The Framing of Scandal

Media framing theory posits that the way news is presented shapes public understanding and response. Board’s parody of news conventions draws attention to the selective, constructed nature of media narratives.


2. The Ethics of Sensationalism

Board’s critique aligns with calls for a more socially responsible media, one that prioritizes accuracy, context, and ethical reflection over profit and spectacle. His satire exposes the dangers of a media environment in which entertainment and outrage trump substantive analysis.


VII. Audience Reception and Circulation

A. Readership Demographics and Punk Subculture

Board’s primary audience consists of readers attuned to punk, underground, and alternative cultures—communities that value skepticism, irreverence, and critical engagement with mainstream narratives. His use of in-group references, subcultural slang, and taboo-breaking humor is designed to resonate with readers who share his sensibilities.


B. Social Media Reaction and Public Debate

The circulation of Board’s column on social media platforms has generated a range of responses, from enthusiastic praise to confusion and outrage. The complexity of satire means that not all readers recognize or appreciate its ironic stance, leading to debates about the boundaries of acceptable critique and the risks of misinterpretation.


C. The Ethics and Legalities of Satirical Invocation

Board’s invocation of living and deceased public figures raises ethical and legal questions about the limits of satire. In the United States, satire is generally protected as free speech, especially when targeting public figures, but the line between protected parody and actionable defamation can be blurry. Board’s use of exaggeration, absurdity, and clear signals of fictionality helps to distinguish his work from defamatory statements, but the potential for controversy remains.


VIII. Comparative Models: Twain, Swift, and Contemporary Satirists

A. Mark Twain and the American Satirical Tradition

Board’s work is in direct conversation with the tradition of Mark Twain, whose satire combined humor, irony, and a relentless critique of American society. Twain’s observations about the preference for comforting lies, the dangers of moral hypocrisy, and the absurdities of political life find echoes in Board’s column.


B. Jonathan Swift and the Art of Shock

The influence of Jonathan Swift, especially “A Modest Proposal,” is evident in Board’s use of shock, irony, and hyperbole to provoke moral reflection. Like Swift, Board adopts a persona that appears to endorse the very attitudes he seeks to critique, forcing readers to confront the inhumanity of prevailing social norms.


C. Contemporary Satirists and the Digital Age

Board’s engagement with the aesthetics of “fake news,” deepfakes, and AI-generated content situates his work within the contemporary landscape of digital satire. Like The Onion, The Daily Show, and other modern satirists, Board uses parody and irony to challenge the authority of media and to expose the constructed nature of reality.


IX. Conclusion: The Broader Message of “The Year of the Whores”

Mykel Board’s “The Year of the Whores” is a complex, provocative, and deeply satirical meditation on the intersections of sex, power, scandal, and media in contemporary America. Through a blend of irony, parody, hyperbole, and grotesque humor, Board exposes the absurdities of moral panic, the hypocrisies of media sensationalism, and the contradictions of American attitudes toward sexuality and authority.


By invoking figures like Jeffrey Epstein, Noam Chomsky, and Mark Twain, Board situates his critique within both the immediate context of 2026 and the broader tradition of American satire. His column challenges readers to question the narratives they consume, to recognize the constructed nature of scandal and stigma, and to reflect on the deeper anxieties that drive public discourse.


Ultimately, “The Year of the Whores” is both a product and a critique of its time—a work that entertains, provokes, and unsettles in equal measure. It stands as a testament to the enduring power of satire to illuminate, to challenge, and, perhaps, to change the way we see ourselves and our society.


Appendix: Table—Key Satirical Devices in “The Year of the Whores”

Device Example in Board’s Column Function in Satire


Irony Deadpan endorsement of scandalous behavior Exposes contradictions, forces critical reflection

Parody Mimicry of news reports and political speeches Undermines authority, highlights constructed narratives


Hyperbole Exaggerated metaphors (e.g., “power shits”) Amplifies absurdities, provokes shock and amusement


Grotesque Scatological humor, bodily imagery Disrupts decorum, levels hierarchies


Metafiction Direct address to reader, self-aware narration Blurs fiction/reality, invites critical engagement


Allusion References to Epstein, Chomsky, Twain Situates critique within broader cultural context


Each of these devices is elaborated in the column to serve both the entertainment and critical functions of satire. Board’s mastery of these techniques situates him within a lineage of satirists who have used humor, shock, and irony to challenge the status quo and to provoke deeper reflection on the values and anxieties of their societies.


Final Thoughts

Mykel Board’s “The Year of the Whores” is a rich, multilayered work that rewards close reading and critical analysis. Its engagement with the themes of truth, scandal, stigma, and media manipulation is both timely and timeless, offering insights not only into the peculiarities of 2026 but into the enduring dynamics of American culture. By blending satire and sincerity, fiction and reality, Board invites readers to question not only the stories they are told but the very frameworks through which they make sense of the world. In doing so, he affirms the vital role of satire as both a mirror and a hammer—reflecting society’s follies and, perhaps, shaping its future.

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You can contact Kyle on facebook at: Kyle Nonneman

Monday, December 01, 2025

RELEVANCE or Mykel Board's Blogpost for December 2026

 

RELEVANCE or Mykel Board's Blog for December 2025

  


You’re STILL Wrong

or

Mykel's December 2025 Blog/Column

RELEVANCE

by Mykel Board    

I lay naked in the crosswalk… 3rd Street and 2nd Ave. I can feel the breeze over my body… the cold asphalt against my back. My mind is a fog. Why am I here? How did I get here? Why naked? Something must have happened, but what? I can hear the cars drive around me. I can force my eyes to open… expecting to see a curious crowd looking down at me… maybe a few giggles at my shrunken meat and potatoes. But I see only the tops of passing cars… surrounding buildings… the fading light of a setting sun.

Stand back… stand away,” I hear spoken in an extremely authoritarian voice… could be a cop.

There’s a siren in the distance… getting louder… maybe it’s for me. Suddenly the sound stops and I hear the click of doors opening… the thump of men jumping to the street… A man wearing a reflective vest stands near my head. A woman similarly dressed stands at my feet.

What’s your name?” asks the man.

Mykel Board,” I answer.

Why are you naked and lying in the street?” he asks.

I don’t know,” I answer.

“Are you registered to vote?” he asks.

I’m lying naked in the street… unable to move… and you want to know if I’m registered to vote?” I answer.

Are you a Yankees fan… or a Mets fan?” he asks.

If I say Red Sox will you leave me here?” I ask.

What color socks do you usually wear?” he asks.

Ok, Mykel,” says Literary Device, “We get the picture. Now what’s the point? You’re obviously using this fake situation as a metaphor for something. What’re you trying to say? You think we like looking at your limp Vienna sausage just so you can make a point? What IS that point, Mykel?”

Ok, I’ll tell you. It comes from a facebook discussion, but it’s got wider implications. I said on facebook that I admired the courage of the few Dems who voted to start up the government again. They defied the brass... thought people getting their paychecks and food stamp recipients eating were more important than holding out to prove a point. Defying the boss takes balls… and these guys (and gals) had the (metaphorical) balls.

And the answers I got after posting this?

How could you support Trump?... Why do you favor pulling healthcare from the poor? ...Since when did you become MAGA? ...It was wrong to cave in like that…

These answers were as relevant to the comment as Are you registered to vote? is to a naked man lying in a crosswalk. Relevance. Relevance. Relevance. THAT’s what I want to write about. My facebook post was not about whether the budget is good or bad… or what’s not in the budget that isn’t passing. My post was about whether bucking party bosses and friends and family was an act of courage… or not. Of course it was! If someone climbs a fence to tickle bull balls hanging from a live bull, she commits an act of courage. It may not be smart, vegan, or match who knows what odd politics… but it is courageous.

As I type these words, television news sells its prescription drugs with the Jeffrey Epstein drama. The tale is mysterious and filled with lies and misleading almost-lies. Women who had sex before the legal age are called survivors. Jeffrey Epstein, murdered in jail to shut him up… was NOT a survivor… but no one mentions that.

[NOTE: I know I wrote about sex and Jeffrey Epstein in the last blog… but it keeps on coming back. And this is a different angle… It’s about survivors and you bet they’ll be in court getting awarded thousands (millions?) for their survival. Maybe one or two will write a best-selling book. Jeffrey Epstein will never write a book.]

[NOTE 2: I just saw a TV report on the Epstein survivors. It repeats the obvious false claims the Epstein died by suicide. That means his guards fell asleep while he wrapped the sheets around his neck? That means that someone who had dirt on the most powerful people in America.. “killed himself” before spilling the goods? Come on! Epstein could never appear in court. Could you imagine the trial? Bill Clinton as a witness? There’s no way he could be allowed to live. He was murdered.]

Ooooo, but sex… ooooo cooties. How could you survive? Romeo was 15. Juliet was 13, just bat mitzvah age. In 2025, Shakespeare would have been arrested for child pornography. Romeo and Juliet would be illegal.. exploiting children. A 17-year old in the sex business is “child trafficked.” Any sex at all is exploitation. Hah, I only WISH someone had exploited me when I was 17.



 
Teach me how to do it, miss… or mister. Exploit me, PLEASE!”

Nature created a natural indication of maturity. That is when a child becomes an adult… ready for sex. It’s called puberty. Allowing a 16-year-old to engage in sex for pay is certainly no worse than allowing a 16-year old to engage in grape-picking for pay. I can see making BOTH illegal if it takes away from school time, or robs an adult of a job, or violates minimum wage laws. But I can’t see making it illegal because it’s SEX.

And, back to the topic, what the fuck does where you put your penis have to do with running a country? Trump is not the stud-in-chief. Who he fucked last century does not affect his ability to govern. It’s not relevant! But …. oooooo…. It’s sex. And what do people do after sex? They survive it.

It looks like Donny Trump is going to war with Venezuela. As I write this, warships are floating in the Caribbean and warplanes are flying overhead. This is regime change… Trump’s Iraqi war. THAT is relevant. How many more will die than have already been killed in his bombing of fishing boats? Those guys WEREN’T survivors. But why care about that when there’s SEX on the table... right? War is war and we always win… right? Sex will sell more prescription Irritable Bowel Syndrome medication than international diplomacy… right?

Whether Trump or Clinton or Marjorie Taylor Greene boffed a teen does not affect the lives… or deaths… of Venezuelans. It doesn’t change the fact that the US has more medical bankruptcy than any other country in the world. It doesn’t help the random people swept off the streets by ICE and shipped to prison in El Salvador. It doesn’t help that gerrymandering wins elections despite majorities voting for the losing candidate. It doesn’t give the homeless homes. It doesn’t feed the hungry. It only feeds the need of the public for news about SEX. And it’s difficult to think of anything more important, right?

See you in hell

Mykel Board


ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at mykelboard@gmail.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Send me an email with SUBSCRIBE TO THE BLOG in the subject line. Back blogs and columns are at https://mykelsblog.blogspot.com]

Speaking of Epstein dept: Larry Summers, Clinton’s Treasury Secretary and an economic advisor to Obama, wrote a letter to Epstein, recently released to the public. “I’m trying to figure why American elite think if you murder your baby by beating and abandonment it must be irrelevant to your admission to Harvard, but hit on a few women 10 years ago and can’t work at a network or think tank,” Talk about hitting the nail on the head! He’s got it! More details here.

Speaking of Me dept: One of my not-so-public hobbies is writing haiku and senryu. For those who don’t know… haiku in English are not those 5-7-5 syllabic things you learn in school, but short poems (usually not rhyming) with 2 parts that deal with immediate, usually visual, events. There are other parts to the genre. Senryu are more flexible haiku… usually written in 3 lines… often humorous or with multi-meanings. You can order my book on Amazon, best if you don’t live in the US. Or from me directly (US orders only) and I’ll sign it. Cost from me is $10… including postage if shipped to a US address. You can Paypal the 10 bucks to: paypal@seidboard.com

Speaking of Me Again dept: I’m feeling much better after my heart attack and hospitalization. And I appreciate all the good wishes. Since then, I’ve done what people call “research” these days. That means putting something in a Google (or CHAT GBT) inquiry box. And I found just the answer I was hoping for. Benefits Of Masturbation For Heart Health: Rather than causing heart problems, masturbation can actually have some benefits for cardiovascular health. You can read the whole thing here. I didn’t make it up.

See you in hell (redux)… later rather than sooner, I hope. Happy 2026.


MB


AFRICAN LINKS:

Albert aka Alberto Melody is the reason I went to Kenya. We met on facebook a couple years ago. He has a blog you should take a look at: Albertomelody.blogspot.com. Tell him Mykel sent ya. Oh yeah… He’s looking for friends his own age. So if you’re a 20-something and interested in Africa… or just meeting new people. Contact him at: albertletowon42@gmail.com

NON-AFRICANS

Jim Testa, a long-time friend, journalist, editor, musician and wordsmith, has an interesting substack about music and more. You can find it here.

Sid Yiddish sent me this link to all his videos. It’s a great place to start, especially if you don’t know him.

I did a nice interview with The Aither zine. Interesting questions, complete, and questions I’ve never been asked before. You can read it here. It’s a good one.

Here’s Ricardo Wang with a “micro-label” in Seattle “specializing in 8-track tapes and CDs. WOW! Check out one of their label staples: The Dead Air Fresheners, best band name of the year.

Also on bandcamp: My very long time faves in NYC, the BLACKOUT SHOPPERS. Featuring pals Seth and possibly the next vice-president of the US

Sid Yiddish has posted a video of a show done for WZRD in Chicago. Great live performances, and if you catch the video around the 20+ minute point you might see a familiar face doing the lyrics to his songs (some unrecorded) as poetry. You’ll find it
here.

And this sounds right up Sid’s alley. The Bilderberg Jazz Arkestra on Bandcamp!

Eric Grayson has an online music review zine, Sobriquet. Full pictures of the sleeves too! Something missing from too many zines. Sometimes you CAN judge a… er… book… by its cover.

Steen Thomsen is a Dane I’ve known ever since Lincoln was shot. I put his band THE ZERO POINT on the great WORLD CLASS PUNK Cassette for ROIR. It must be worth a mint now. I don’t have any left, I’m afraid. You can (and should) connect to the Zero Point on facebook. Tell ‘em Mykel’s blog sent you.

Sorry Dorothy, we are STILL in Kansas. And it’s as weird as OZ. Check out Bob Cutler’s DISTOPEKA.

You already know Murder & Mayhem zine… those guys who did the Mykel Board centerfold. (No genitals shown… and probably for the better.) Their online version is here.

The Clean Boys from Denmark are also longtime friends of mine. In Denmark we recorded as The Bend-over Boys. Only one 10-inch available… but at least now I can say I have a 10-incher!

Finally, for this month, Margaret O’Brien asked me to include the site: anti-war.com They seem to be folks after my own heart. I’m glad they didn’t call it “anti-defense.”

Oh yeah, then there’s me. I have a blog of stuff I’ve written mostly from last century. You might enjoy it. Then again, you might not. It’s here.

Let me know if you have a blog… or a print zine… or a YouTube and want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already seen mine. mykelboard@gmail.com

Saturday, November 01, 2025

Voting For The Colonel or Mykel's Blog for November 2025

  


You’re STILL Wrong

or

Mykel's November 2025 Blog/Column

VOTING FOR THE COLONEL

by Mykel Board    


If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs, send him to KFC.
                                                                – Drake

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
                                                            – Jeff Foxworthy

There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.
                                                            – Colonel Sanders


How could you, a Jew, vote for Mamdani? That’s like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders.” That quote is from one of my best friends. We don’t agree on everything, but I’ve never met a person who agrees with me 100% on politics... or music... or movies. If I ever do, I’ll have to change my opinion. But her answer here, though, is just genius: funny… and it avoids the Godwin’s law trap.

For those who don’t know. Godwin’s law is something like “in any discussion, one party is sure to mention Hitler or The Nazis and, after that, all intelligent discussion is impossible.” Board’s corollary to Godwin’s law is “when person A calls person B on Godwin’s law, person B will inevitably answer yeah, but Godwin himself said it’s all right to mention Nazis if you’re really talking about Nazis.” Of course, that reply is bullshit because anyone Nazi-calling is sure to claim s/he’s talking about REAL Nazis.

My friend’s KFC remark is brilliant because it make concentration camps funny! It brings humor to tragedy. It floats with laughing irony. And it’ll work most everywhere.

Take farmers… please. Overwhelmingly, the redneck/hillbilly vote went to Donny The Trump… Regular readers know that although I don’t think that guy is 100% evil, I think it would be difficult to slip a pinkie into the stuff he’s done right. One of the worst wrong-doings is the ICE kidnaps/round-ups of folks who don’t pass the show me your papers test. Most don’t even get to reach in their pockets for those papers in the first place.

So what happens? Those farm crops lay rotting on the fields because, in normal times, they’re picked by immigrants. What native-speaking white guy is going to work a twelve hour day… under the sun… back bent for 11 and a half of those hours… for 79 cents and a hat? Those (mostly) illegals keep food in good supply.

Poor rednecks are losing money with food that won’t be harvested… Chickens voting for Colonel Sanders.

NOTE: I saw this report on Instagram… ICE visited a farm in Texas. They went to the owner, explained who they were and said they were going to inspect.

“Inspect away,” said the farm boss. “Just don’t go into that field on the left.”

Of course, that’s where they first headed. It’s where the farmer kept his most ferocious wild bulls.

I doubt the truth of the story. It’s too good. But one can always hope to find humor in real life. It’s Colonel Sanders getting his just desserts.

And speaking of Colonel Sanders… Though born in the US, his background is Dutch and Irish. The latter one of the most persecuted groups in America. Get it? The US is a nation of immigrants. One of a sliver of nice things about Franklin Roosevelt is that when he spoke before the DAUGHTERS OF THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, a right-wing group of anti-immigrants. At that time, the evil immigrants were mostly Germans.) Roosevelt began his speech with the words: Fellow Immigrants.

My grandparents… on my mother’s side… were “illegal immigrants… from Russia via Canada... walking to Michigan. My dream is for ICE to grab Melania Trump, stuff her in a burlap bag and ship her back to Slovenia. Even so-called native people (aka American Indians) descended from immigrants… born in Mongolia. They walked over the ice of the Bering Strait … through North America... and settled in their tepees on the way. You think the Apaches had passports? Get it? There are NO Native Americans. We’re all here because some relatives came here first. In the case of most of us, there were No papers. No immigration forms. That mean YOU, my fellow illegals.

Wait! Wait! Wait! Brake! Shift! My first plan was to use Chickens Voting for Colonel Sanders over and over again in different contexts… but I just saw a clip from the NYC mayoral debate that changed my plan. I’ll still vote for Mamdani for mayor. A socialist! Wow! 20 punk points. But I gotta say, clipwise, he disappointed me.

Why? Mandami’s become part of the party role reversal plaguing American politics. The Repubs used to be the party of small government. Now, they’re a dictatorship. The Dems used to be the party of anti-censorship, pro-sexual freedom. Now they’re prudes.

The only way I can see to connect the two parts of this blog is CHICKEN!!! We got Colonel Sanders and gay slang for underage boys. It doesn’t quite fit, but at least it’s something to boost the coherence.

What happened in the mayoral debate tonight was that Mamdani snuck someone into the audience. She was one of the women who accused Andrew Cuomo (one of Mamdani’s two opponents) of “sexual harassment.” The Muslim trotted her out during the debate to show what an evil guy Cuomo is. Did Cuomo stab her with a Bowie knife? Did he cheat her out of a fortune? Did he lie about her integrity to get her fired? No!!! He touched her “inappropriately!” Ewww! Cooties!

Oy vey! In Italy, a voluptuous woman walking down the street will likely be complimented with a pinch on the ass. She’ll turn and smile. But in prudeland USA, too tight a hug is harassment. Sex is bad say the Dems… though they wouldn’t say it out loud.

Dems say that it’s fine to give elementary school kids puberty blocking drugs, but touch them in their pre-puberty places… Oh, how horrible.

I’ve seen a facebook post… clearly from a Dem… that calls a 17-year old girl “a child.” In Arkansas you can get married at 16! In several Mexican states, the age of consent is 12. But, in the good old USA, sex is BAD. And young people are not allowed to participate in BAD THINGS.


Donny the Trump draws a cartoon of a naked woman. Naked!! How horrible! And it’s just an outline… as dirty as the Venus de Milo. But naked people have sex! What the hell does sex have to do with running a country? Why care who was friends with Jeffrey Epstein? What does that have to do with an ICE-pack of kidnappers roaming Canal Street?…. Andy Cuomo touched a breast… oooooo people touch breasts when they have sex... sex is evil. Evil Andy! It almost makes me want to vote for him. But I’m a chicken… And I’ll be voting for The Colonel.

See you in hell
Mykel Board

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at mykelboard@gmail.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Send me an email with SUBSCRIBE TO THE BLOG in the subject line. Back blogs and columns are at https://mykelsblog.blogspot.com]

Oh no dept: After this was written, I heard from my politically aware nephew that the Colonel Sanders remark was not original with my friend… but an internet meme. That doesn’t make it any less clever. It just makes the source different. And that same nephew told me the Mamdani’s stunt with the Cuomo-groped girl, was a copy of a stunt that Trump pulled with harasser-in-chief Bill Clinton, but I can’t find any internet reference on that one.

Real Sex Scandal #1 Dept: Instead of bogus scandal news where 17-year-olds are called “children,” how ‘bout this one? It’s where a doctor left the operating room to boff a nurse, while the patient lay surgically open on the operating table. I hope it was a quickie. Details here.

Real Sex Scandal #2...this one from Thailand?: Police in Thailand arrested a woman who screwed a bunch of Buddhist monks and then blackmailed them... forcing them to make “large payments” to cover up the nookie. To me, the humor in this one is that the monks involved were de-monked. The process of revoking a monk-license in Thailand is called disrobing. I guess they had to do that. Details here.

A real scandal dept: So Chevrolet has gone full-MAGA and is bragging in its commercials that Americans are the best, the strongest and most important. “Never stop being American,” they say. What’s implied behind the message (with video of fighter jets on a bombing mission leaving red, white and blue chem-trails.) is that some people in American never STARTED being American. The country needs to be purified, they imply. Where have I heard THAT before?

See you in hell (redux)
MB

AFRICAN LINKS:

Albert aka Alberto Melody is the reason I went to Kenya. We met on facebook a couple years ago. He has a blog you should take a look at: Albertomelody.blogspot.com. Tell him Mykel sent ya. Oh yeah… He’s looking for friends his own age. So if you’re a 20-something and interested in Africa… or just meeting new people. Contact him at: albertletowon42@gmail.com

NON-AFRICANS

Sid Yiddish sent me this link to all his videos. It’s a great place to start, especially if you don’t know him.

I did a nice interview with The Aither zine. Interesting questions, complete, and questions I’ve never been asked before. You can read it here. It’s a good one.

Here’s Ricardo Wang with a “micro-label” in Seattle “specializing in 8-track tapes and CDs. WOW! Check out one of their label staples: The Dead Air Fresheners, best band name of the year.

Also on bandcamp: My very long time faves in NYC, the BLACKOUT SHOPPERS. Featuring pals Seth and possibly the next vice-president of the US

Sid Yiddish has posted a video of a show done for WZRD in Chicago. Great live performances, and if you catch the video around the 20+ minute point you might see a familiar face doing the lyrics to his songs (some unrecorded) as poetry. You’ll find it here.

And this sounds right up Sid’s alley. The Bilderberg Jazz Arkestra on Bandcamp!

Eric Grayson has an online music review zine, Sobriquet. Full pictures of the sleeves too! Something missing from too many zines. Sometimes you CAN judge a… er… book… by its cover.

Steen Thomsen is a Dane I’ve known ever since Lincoln was shot. I put his band THE ZERO POINT on the great WORLD CLASS PUNK Cassette for ROIR. It must be worth a mint now. I don’t have any left, I’m afraid. You can (and should) connect to the Zero Point on facebook. Tell ‘em Mykel’s blog sent you.

Sorry Dorothy, we are STILL in Kansas. And it’s as weird as OZ. Check out Bob Cutler’s DISTOPEKA.

You already know Murder & Mayhem zine… those guys who did the Mykel Board centerfold. (No genitals shown… and probably for the better.) Their online version is here.

The Clean Boys from Denmark are also longtime friends of mine. In Denmark we recorded as The Bend-over Boys. Only one 10-inch available… but at least now I can say I have a 10-incher!

Finally, for this month, Margaret O’Brien asked me to include the site: anti-war.com They seem to be folks after my own heart. I’m glad they didn’t call it “anti-defense.”

Oh yeah, then there’s me. I have a blog of stuff I’ve written mostly from last century. You might enjoy it. Then again, you might not. It’s here.

Let me know if you have a blog… or a print zine… or a YouTube and want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already seen mine. mykelboard@gmail.com


SPECIAL POST... my pal Kyle N. fed me to AI This

 Hi! My friend Kyle N. fed my current blog entry to AI and then asked it to tell him about ME! This is what he got back: AI ON MB Critical ...