Monday, June 03, 2019

You’re Still Wrong Mykel's Blog for June 2019 or MAKING SHIT UP


Mykel’s Post-MRR Blog
Number ??? June 2019
Making Shit Up
by Mykel Board



Everything was made up by people that were no smarter than you.
--Steve Jobs

I’m tellin’ ya’. I saw it with my own two eyes. We’re recording the extra tracks for GG’s HATED Roir cassette. Yeah, the cassette… musta been in 1986. GG insists on a mic where he can stand and throw himself around. I think Chicken John is on guitar. Evans is definitely the drummer…. a live recording. GG is singing “I WANNA FUCK MYSELF. ” At the end of the song GG screams I WANNA FUCK MYSELF. FUCK MYSELF.

He walks back to Evans and rips a drumstick out of his hands. Then drops his pants and shoves the drumstick up his ass. Up and down… back and forth… Splinters anyone? But that’s not enough… pulling the drumstick out from his ass, he shits on the floor. Not a splatter shit, but a dogshit shit. Individual turds… cucumber size… lying stacked like French bread in a bakery.

But wait! There’s more! One by one, he picks up those turds and shoves them BACK into his ass. Moving his stomach like an Indian fakir, he sucks each one back into its ancient home.

None of that happened. I made it up. You believed it because you know about GG… and you know about me. You’ve heard rumors. You want to believe it’s true. That’s what I want to write about this month. Making shit up.

Making shit up is different from lying… or maybe it’s a kind of lying. Lying is just saying something that isn’t true… usually for your own face-saving benefit.

The dog must have farted.”

That’s a lie.

Damn, there’s that neighbor’s dog. I love it… I always keep dog cookies on hand for when it paws the door and begs to come in. Leaves a slime over my face after licking me hello. I love her, but she does have poor digestion. Farts up a storm… the smell lingers in the corners like a nerd at parties… You never know when it’s going to make an appearance…

That’s making shit up.



There is some creativity in making shit up. Some extra believability that comes from the surrounding stories. A novel is making shit up.

Though there are always cries of LIES! LIES! LIES! in politics, much of it isn’t lies, but people making shit up.
    Most of what you think you know is just stuff people made up. Here’s some of it:
  • THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE WAS INVENTED TO PRESERVE SLAVERY
  • IF YOU DON’T VOTE FOR THE DEMOCRAT IN THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, YOU’RE VOTING FOR TRUMP
  • DONALD TRUMP SAID THE RACISTS AND NAZIS WHO MARCHED IN CHARLOTTESVILLE VA  WERE GOOD PEOPLE
  • SUPPORT FOR GAY MARRIAGE AND TRANSSEXUALS IN THE MILITARY IS PROGRESSIVE

All that shit is made up. Some is “inspired by real events” but most of it comes from the same process that created Alice and the White Rabbit.

Let’s take the Electoral College. For the non-Americans and I’ll explain.

The Electoral College is the US system for deciding the president. Instead of just counting the raw number of votes for each candidate, there is a group of electors. More populous states have more electors than less populous states. Every state, though, has at least three electors. Alaska has three electors. California has 55. (NOTE: Alaska was never a slave state.)

The reason for this system was to give some voice to the rural/farming states. If elections were decided by pure vote tallies, the populous states-- with the mega-cities-- would decide every election. The needs of farmers, ranchers, and small town dwellers would never be met. A candidate would only have to win the cities to win the elections. Fuck everyone else. With the electoral college, Wyoming doesn’t have a BIG voice (3 electors), but it has a voice. With direct election, it would not. (Wyoming was never a slave state.)

So where did the idea that the Electoral College was related to “preserving the rights of slave states” come from?

In an article called, “The Electoral College was explicitly designed to protect slavery,” The Raw Story website writes:

In order to guarantee that the nonvoting slaves could nevertheless influence the presidential election, Madison favored the creation of the Electoral College. 

The Convention then accepted the idea of an Electoral College. By this time the Convention had already agreed to count slaves for representation under the three-fifths compromise, counting five slaves as equal to three free people in order to increase the South’s representation in Congress. Thus, in electing the President the political power Southerners gained from owning slaves (although obviously not the votes of slaves) would be factored into the electoral votes of each state.

Yo, buckaroos! The 3/5 compromise is a COMPROMISE… get it? It was included to stop an impasse between the slave states who wanted the entire population counted, and the non-slave states who didn’t want the slaves counted at all. It was NOT about preserving the slave states… but only about representing them. [NOTE: My pal Richard mentioned that, at the time of the Constitutional Convention, EVERY STATE was a slave state. So the idea that the E.C. was created to protect slave states is ipso facto ridiculous!]

The 3/5 compromised decides the NUMBER of electors in the electoral college. Yes, it is unfair. Counting a population that can’t vote to decide votes is nasty and wrong. But that doesn't mean the electoral system should be abolished. Saying so would be like saying convicts who have served their time are not (in most places) allowed to vote. That is unfair. But it doesn't mean that all voting should be abolished.

So while there was a relationship between slavery and the WAY electors were chosen… the connection between the electoral college and slavery is just…. well, made up. And worse, this is 20-fuckin’-19! I can guarantee that in the 2016 election, NO SLAVE STATES were benefited by the electoral college and they won’t be in 2020. (Actually, they’re ALL slave states… but that’s another blog.)

Related to this is the incredible notion that if you don’t vote for the Democrat in the 2020 election “you’re voting for Trump.”

By now, you already know that we have an Electoral College… and it has a useful function. It may need some tweaking, but it doesn’t need abolishing. Even if you don’t agree with that, you know that it won’t disappear before 2020.


The reality is that most states are either Democratic or Republican. In those states, ALL the electoral votes will go to the Democrat-- or Republican. It doesn’t matter how the individual voters vote. NOT voting for the Democrat in New York… or not voting for the Republican in Alabama… won’t change the fact that New York’s electoral votes will go to the Democrat and Alabama’s to the Republican.

I could vote for my penis, and that would have absolutely no effect on the outcome of the election (or, for that matter, on the outcome of my penis.) Only in the swing states-- that is the states that change from year to year-- do individual votes count. Those states are: Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Iowa, Michigan, Nevada, New Hampshire. North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia and Wisconsin. About a quarter of all the states.

Some of those states are BARELY swing states. Arizona, for example, has voted Republican in nine of the last ten presidential elections. And Wisconsin has voted Democrat in eight of the last ten elections. Not very swingin’.

So if you’re not in a swing state (and nearly ¾ of voters are not) … not voting Democrat is… well… not voting Democrat. It is registering a complaint… If anything, it’s a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, and a message to whichever party… I don’t like the shit you’re throwing at me.

That is a far cry from voting for Trump. That part is completely made up.

Next comes Trump calling the Nazis and Klansmen of Charlottesville, VA “good people.”

Here’s what happened: A demonstration was organized in Charlottesville, Virginia. The general organizing theme was around the removal of statues associated with the confederacy and southern history during the US Civil war. There were as many counter-demonstrators as demonstrators. One man drove a car into the counter-demonstrators, killing one person.

On a news show, Donald Trump said the following:

You’re changing history, you’re changing culture, and you had people – and I'm not talking about the neo-Nazis and the white nationalists, because they should be condemned totally – but you had many people in that group other than neo-Nazis and white nationalists, okay? And the press has treated them absolutely unfairly. Now, in the other group also, you had some fine people, but you also had troublemakers and you see them come with the black outfits and with the helmets and with the baseball bats – you had a lot of bad people in the other group too. (Complete text of the TV interview here.)

On Twitter, Nation Magazine sports writer, David Zirzin says Condemning Israel is not anti-Semitic… calling Nazis and White supremacists “good people” IS anti-Semitic.

I searched for the exact Zirzin quote, it looks like it was deleted. There were a ton of comments that he just made it up. It wasn’t his idea, of course, and I don’t blame him for thinking Trump said Nazis were good people. Lots of folks believe it, even though it was made up. Trump’s comments, in fact, CONDEMN neo-Nazis and white nationalists. But that story doesn’t fit the narrative. So someone just made up the story… putting the “fine people” together with “neo-Nazis”… reconstructing the whole speech… making up a new one… and POW! People believe it.

Now let’s look at the support for Gay Marriage and Transsexuals in the military. Supporting these institutions is PROGRESSIVE. While opposing them is FASCIST.

Is Friedrich Engels FASCIST? As one of the founders of Communism (for the millennials, Communists are not fascist… or Nazi), Engels wrote about marriage and how it is used as an oppressive tool to maintain women in a subordinate position. Marriage and its associate rules push people into forming family units where there is a bread-winner and a housekeeper. It makes one person reliant on the other for sustenance… and even gives a financial value to that dependence. The value makes its appearance in ALIMONY when the marriage breaks up.

In order to encourage marriage, the US government… and private enterprise… awards several bonuses to married people that are not awarded to individuals in other relationships. Take insurance… please!

In civilized countries, the entire population is entitled to tax-payer funded medical care. There is only government-provided health insurance… and it doesn’t matter if you’re hitched or not. In the US, medical insurance is paid for by employers. The law requires employers to pay for the SPOUSES and children of workers. If you’re not married, it only pays for you.

In recent times, there was a “domestic partnership” provision, that required companies to pay for people living together (het or homo), if they registered. They didn’t have to be married. This cost employers a ton of money. With gay marriage, domestic partnership is dead. If you’re not married, someone loses insurance. The employer doesn’t have to pay. The insurance companies don’t have to insure. Thousands of people who had the legal freedom and independence that comes from NOT being married, have suddenly lost that. They’re pushed into marriage for the insurance. And some for the tax benefits of joint filing.

But wait, there’s more: ADULTERY is a valid legal reason for divorce. Divorce means a big payment in alimony. So marriage pushes people into MONOGAMY. A religious rule turns into a legal rule with the stroke of a wedding ring. The free love ideals of the REAL progressives dies in a religious fury encouraged by the government. Gay marriage is NOT progressive. Marriage itself is not progressive, it is government control of love and sex? Does that sound Progressive to you?

Interestingly, there have been some new voices talking about the evils of family… and THEY are progressive.

And Transsexuals in the army? Oy vey! It’s like an antebellum southerner asking Should transsexuals be able to own slaves?

That’s not the question! The question is should slavery be abolished?

Since WWII, the US military is a murder machine... killing more people than all other countries combined. Should transsexuals have a right to participate in that?

Of course not! NO ONE should have that right.

And the last made up stuff I want to talk about is something I’ve written about before, so I’ll be brief.

Lack of gun control causes mass killings and school shootings in the US.

In Switzerland, every family has a gun.Wikipedia reports that Canada has a million more registered firearms than the US, with a population of 10% of that of the US. Canada is one of the most peaceful countries on earth.

Gun violence is not caused by guns. It’s caused by violence. You’ve already read that-- in modern times-- the US has killed more people in other countries than all other countries combined. And, it has cheer-led even more. America is a country that thrives on war movies… or superheroes winning the day… by killing.

America puts less value on life (except, for some, unborn life) than any other country in the world. It’s just made up that guns make violence. It’s easy to see that a culture of violence creates violence. As for local/legal murder, aka The Death Penalty, the US (with the exception of Japan: one death penalty in the past 20 years) is the ONLY first world (sic) country that still has that penalty. So you tell me, how is it GUNS that make the violence here?

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ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at god@mykelboard.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Subscribe to the MYKEL'S READERS Yahoo group readmboard-subscribe@yahoogroups.com]

-→Nice quote dept: Speaking of gun laws, Morgan Freeman had some nice words about mass killings in America. He included America’s fascination with CELEBRITY (he is one)… and it’s certainly something to consider.
It's because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single *victim* of Columbine?
People who would otherwise just off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade school? Why children? Because he'll be remembered as a horrible monster, instead of a sad nobody.

-→Unfortunate simile dept: You know what a fan I am of Godwin’s law… which states that given enough time, every internet discussion will bring up Hitler or the Nazis and after that further discussion becomes useless. Can you imagine climate change?

William Happer, chosen by Trump to evaluate the risks of climate change, said:
The demonization of carbon dioxide is just like the demonization of the poor Jews under Hitler. Carbon dioxide is actually a benefit to the world-- and so were the Jews.
End of meaningful discussion.

--> Jokes become reality dept: Just like 4chan’s successful attempt to provoke the easily-offended left. (They pretended that the OK sign was a secret WHITE POWER sign… and thus made it one.) It’s clear that this is another case of a joke becoming reality. I think 4chan is the Yippies of the right. 

 
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