You're Still Wrong, June 2020 Volume 1... Every Little Bit

You're Still Wrong, June 2020 Volume 1 or Every Little Bit

YOU'RE STILL WRONG.. 

MYKEL'S JUNE 2020 BLOG

VOLUME 1

OR

EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS

by Mykel Board

NOTE: This was written before the George Floyd murder. You'll get your fill of Floyd in the NEXT Blog.]

Public opinion is always right, especially when it's really idiotic.

--Louis-Ferdinand Celine

There is this notion that is quite popular in the environmental scene that every little bit helps, or 'Think global, act local.' I disagree with that. I think you have to start with how big the solution needs to be to solve the problem and then reason backward from there.

--Boyan Slat

I’m five years old… with Mom, Dad and Gail, my two-year-old sister… at Jones Beach. Usually we go to the North Shore beaches… like Glen Cove. There are no waves there. I guess Mom and Dad think it’s safer. At Jones Beach big waves come rolling in from the ocean. There are no surfers. Maybe surfing hasn’t been invented yet.

People lay on blankets all around us… This is the 1950s. There are bikinis… pretty new things… Mom isn’t wearing one. No, Dad isn’t either. Five year old me is happy to look at the bulges... girl bulges... guy bulges… and just wonder. We have a picnic basket, some cans of coke, some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches... a few Hershey bars. I’m drinking from a new cup Dad bought me. It collapses… telescopes into itself… You can carry it in a pocket. I like to drink from it, and collapse one section at a time as the liquid inside depletes. 

Five year old me likes to look at the water, and the bulging people that go into it. The way they dive… the way their bodies penetrate a wave like a thread into a needle.

Uh oh, something’s wrong. Looks like a teenager… not so far from me… caught in a big wave. I hear calls for help. I run as quickly as my five year old legs allow… back to the beach blanket… back to my pants, next to Mom under the umbrella. I reach into the pocket.

Yes! Here it is... the telescoping cup. I run to the shore with the cup… wade in… take the cup and scoop out water from the ocean. A cupful… run to the sand and dump it out. Then another cupful… run back to the sand.

A crowd grows on shore. A lifeguard pushes through and dives into the water. I can’t see what happens from here on because my father has grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me back to shore and the beach blanket.

“What were you doing out there, Mickey?” he asks. (Yes, that was my childhood nickname.)

“Daddy,” I say, “I was taking water out of the ocean to help the man.”

“That’s crazy,” says Dad. “Don’t you know that you could have been killed… swept into the water by a big wave. Why would you do something like that?”

I can feel the tears coming to my eyes. “You told me to, Daddy,” I cry. “Remember, you said every little bit helps!”

NO IT DOESN’T!

Get it?

We already talked about the self-righteous fallacy that wearing a mask is a little bit that will help keep some sick person from dying. Actually, we need the lifeguard of a decent healthcare system. Instead, we scoop cupfuls of water by wearing some piece of cloth over our face and feeling oh so good about ourselves.

Or we stay home… social distance… destroy small bars and restaurants.. kill the society that keeps people sane… make people afraid to go out to see the doctor. They stay home and their cancer has a chance to metastasize… or they avoid that pain in the chest because it’s probably nothing serious and Corona patients need the hospital more than I do.

But wait, there’s more! What about the people who lost their jobs and die because they can’t afford their medication? What about the NEW homeless… made that way because the lockdown has impoverished them? Somehow, it is selfish to consider these people. Somehow, the business patronizers and the families that urge their loved ones to hug and touch are the bad guys. The stay-at-homers and the mask-wearers are the good guys. Why? Because every little bit helps.

NO, IT DOESN’T!

Recently, Consumer Reports ran an article about recycling. I've been a recycling opponent for some time, preferring not to buy shit in the first place... or at least reUSING rather than spending the energy to haul something away, process it, and then use more energy to distribute and sell it again. My neighbors tsk tsk when I throw my little plastic in the general garbage bin, while they dump their camel hump piles of plastic in the green bin. I’m not doing my part, you see. And every little bit helps.

The reason the public thinks recycling is the answer is that the plastic industry has spent 30 years on multimillion-dollar campaigns saying that.” says the Consumer Reports article. That was absolutely the wrong message. The message should have been: “Don’t use so much plastic in the first place.” Recycling makes you feel good, but it does nothing about the bigger problem of too much plastic in the first place.

Throwing your plastic into the garbage does not help. It just makes garbage. Not buying shit helps. Outlawing plastic shopping bags helps. Refilling your glass shampoo bottle and not drinking water from tiny plastic bottles… THAT helps. But the little act of putting that seltzer bottle in the recycling bin… that does NOT help… except to make you feel better.

HOLD UP! CHANGE OF SCENERY… I have three friends –all girls, interestingly enough… though they wouldn’t want to be called that– who have not fallen victim to social distancing. They don’t believe touching other people is DANGEROUS… you might catch something. The one I’m with now chides me for being so angry.

“Mykel,” she says, “stop the teeth gritting already. Lighten up… look at the leaves on the trees… check out the kids playing in the park… tell jokes… make people laugh.”

“My Jason mask makes people laugh.” I tell her.

 “Yes,” she says, “and it’s a good way to protest the mask bullshit... with a smile…. But your writing. It’s just angry… It’s not funny anymore.”

“Can I smell your twat?” I ask.

“That’s not funny,” she answers, pulling away from me, “and no, you cannot smell my twat.”

“Then it must be your feet,” I say.

“Okay,” she says. “That’s funny.”

We walk together down Broadway toward the financial district. She points out trees, flowers, murals, statues I’ve never seen before. Without car exhausts, you can smell the flowers… and the food smells that waft onto the street from the take-out places. When you have nowhere to be, you can take your time getting there… and enjoy the trip.

We pass an outdoor fruit stand. I didn’t even know they were still allowed. I smell durian. Maybe with all the stay-at-home Wall Streeters, new enterprises, spring up like daisies in an untended lawn.

Besides us, her maskless… me with my Jason mask… a woman with a high-tech face mask, goggles, and rubber gloves carefully picks through the fruit on the stand. She quickly glances at the two of us, then speaks to the stand attendant, an older Chinese guy.

“You know,” she says, speaking through her mask, the next two words in vocal italics, “some people think this whole thing is a joke. They don’t take care. I say, You can’t be too careful.”

“YES YOU CAN!” I shout at her.

Get it?

- end -

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at god@mykelboard.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Send me an email with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. Back blogs and columns are at https://mykelsblog.blogspot.com.

→ Virtual Fans Dept: The NY Times reports that the Seoul soccer club in South Korea was forced to apologize after propping up sex dolls in the seats for its match against Gwangju. "We had tried to add some fun in the no-spectator match," the club explained. "But we have not checked all the details, and that is clearly our fault." Details included the large breasted physiques and sex toy marketer’s logos on the dolls' clothing. The club covered the sucking mouths with surgical masks. That apparently wasn’t good enough. Fans quickly noticed.

→ I can’t even SAY Lamborghini dept: CNN reports that a Utah Highway Patrol officer pulled over a car for "what he thought was an impaired driver." Instead, he found a 5-year-old in the driver's seat. The boy told the trooper he took off in his parents' car after arguing with his mother because she wouldn't buy him a Lamborghini. He told the cop he planned to drive to California to get one for himself. "He only had $3 his wallet," the highway patrolman noted.

→ Just takin’ the pet out dept: Spain has one of the strictest lockdowns in Europe. News 14 reports that in Logrono a man took advantage of the lockdown rules. They make an exception for pet owners, who are allowed to go outside briefly with their pets. The National Police tweeted a photo of the man being arrested for sitting on a city bench holding his pet fish in a fish bowl.

→ Editrix knows best dept: Marlene Wicherski, former half-editrix of the great DC music zine Truly Needy, is the current editrix of my blog. After editing this one she wrote me:
I wonder what you would think of the plastic seltzer bottle recycling being done here (Boston). You toss in your empties and the hospital fashions them into face shields for health workers.

I say… it’s better than a hit in the head. But Corona will disappear. That plastic island in the Pacific will keep getting bigger.

– See you all in hell,

Mykel

LINK TRADE DEPARTMENT:

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends and enemies in their blogs. So facebook me or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you. You add me.

Here's a start:

David Goldberg's Busy Microbes Blog

And another Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com

Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency

And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out Yesterday's Recipes.

And here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour diary of sorts.

Andy Shelton has an interesting blog here.

Savage Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.

Chris Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS. You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue soon.

George Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books featured prominently. If there’s no link here (I can’t find it temporarily), then Google… er… Duckduckgo him for information.

And my long-term pal Sid Yiddish contributes with his Mishegas Master Blog.

AND I've started to receive music and band pages. Take a look at this one sent to me from Jon Cox. Squelch Chamber  

Then there's this from long-time friend, and MRR contributor Roger Armstrong. Double Fisted

I just heard from The Green Party who wanted me to put in a plug for them. Here it is, though somehow I doubt they'll mention me in their campaign literature.

Let me know if you have a blog… or a PRINT zine and want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already seen mine. god@mykelboard.com