You're Still Wrong.. Mykel's January 2020 Blog.... FAKE NEWS

You’re STILL Wrong

or
Mykel's

January 2020 Blog/Column

Fake News

by Mykel Board

You furnish the pictures and I'll furnish the war

--William Randolph Hearst

What doesn’t kill you, destroys you mentally.
--The back of a jacket of someone walking down Lexington Ave.

in front of me.

I want to stop him… ask him what his story is… Is that a fashion statement or did you design it yourself? Are you making excuses? Do you want to warn us? Are you a military veteran?

Up to now, the only main clause I knew to complement the subordinate what doesn’t kill you… is makes you stronger. The bullshititude of that is so obvious that it needs no explanation… but I’ll give it to you anyway.

Take diabetes. It debilitates… gradually blinds you, cripples you from the pain on the soles of your feet, maybe an amputation… both legs at the knees. It doesn’t kill you, but it sure as fuck doesn’t make you stronger. Or work… most people survive their worthless jobs: grocery store bagger, stock manipulator, burger flipper, the list of worthless work is a thousand times longer than the one of useful work. Usually it doesn’t kill, but it steals your valuable time… makes you angry, bored, eternally tired… In no way does it make you stronger.

But this guy’s jacket… whoever his is… and he just turned the fuckin’ corner when I wasn’t looking… gone… now I’ll never know… I wonder if he knew the greater idea of his jacket. Since you’re alive, nothing you’ve ever done has killed you. So that means EVERYTHING you’ve ever done destroys you mentally. But wait, there’s more. It’s YOU --not I-- the collective you.. meaning EVERYONE… so EVERYTHING ANYBODY has done contributes to their own mental destruction. Wow… Heavy thoughts.

FLASH AHEAD TO 1AM: my apartment. XNXX. Despite the near-bleeding chafe sore on the underside of my penis, I prepare myself to jerk off to COLLEGE DORM FORCED BISEX. Two youngish white students sit on a bed, barefoot, otherwise fully clothed. Between them is a laptop computer. The woman: maybe twenty years old… touches of blue in her light brown hair… a bit of make up… a sheer blouse over a shoulderless tank top. The guy: about the same age, scruffy blond, hairless face, thin body… too good-looking to be hetero.

They look at the laptop screen. The woman points to something and they both laugh. The camera shoots from a low angle a bit off to the right. We see a window behind the couple. They are not looking at it. While the pair laughs, a form appears in window. It takes human shape as it steps closer… a big guy, wearing sweatpants and a RUTGERS t-shirt. Surprisingly easily, he raises the window from the outside and steps into the room.

WHACK!

He hits the twink with the back of his hand… knocks him flat on the bed. He rolls him onto his stomach. The girl is out of the camera frame. I can’t tell if she’s screaming or just sitting there. (NOTE: I always watch porn with the sound off. I’m concerned about the neighbors.)

The big guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a roll of duct tape. Pulling the twink’s hands behind his back. He holds the wrists together with one hand, while the other hand tapes them. Then the ankles... the mouth… a duct tape gag. Now it’s HER turn.

She’s back in the frame again… off the bed… running toward the door. The big guy tackles, smashing her body against the closed door… pressing his body against hers… rubbing up and down against her back as he holds her head… cheek flattened against the door.

I unzip my pants and reach in.

The big guy slides down and grabs the woman by the ankles… pulls… her body slowly scrapes down the back of the door… He drags her onto the bed…. next to her duck-taped mate. The camera moves to follow… then cut to a close-up of her struggling, mouth open, silent-- to me with the sound off-- scream… quickly hushed by duct tape wrapped once… twice... around her face... mouth... the back of her head.

This can’t be real, right? There was a camera in the room before the guy broke in. It’s an act… a performance… but they’re so good… so convincing.

The big guy treats the woman like he treated her boyfriend, taping her wrists behind her back and taping her ankles together. She is face-down on the bed. He lies on top of her clothed body and reaches around to undo her wide black belt. He slides the belt off and puts it next to her… then reaching around again, he unbuttons her pants and pulls them down… hard… as far as her taped ankles… She wears slightly baggy women’s panties. Nothing Victoria’s Secret about them. Grabbing the cloth in each hand, the Rutgers man tears it from her body like the villain in a horror move might tear open a closed elevator door to get at the shaking occupants. Her ass is soft… a quivering layer of untoned muscle… slight dimples in the cheeks.

Whack! Whack! Whack!

Those cheeks jiggle with each whack of the belt against her naked flesh. Pressing against her back with one hand, the Rutgers boy uses the other to open his own belt… push down his sweat pants. He wears rather unattractive boxers.. gray, with a band that says HANES. Those too the invader pulls down in a single stroke. We get a glimpse of the goods… half hard… soon to be pressed between the untoned cheeks underneath.

I am not half hard… I’m all the way.

Close-up as he pumps himself to full mast. Camera pulls back. We watch him spit… thick white hocker… between the buttocks of the young woman. Close-up: He presses his face between those cheeks… his mouth action is invisible to the camera, but we can guess he’s using his tongue to prepare the tunnel for the traffic to come.

The camera pulls back again. We see the young guy, bug-eyed, watching what’s happening next to him, twisting this way and that… helpless to help his girlfriend. The camera pulled back. This is a movie. These are actors. They are just very convincing actors… It’s not real… It can’t be real.

I pump myself to full mast again and watch as the big guy raises himself and plunges into the woman. She lifts her shoulders… shakes her head… right and left… Close up of her face… her eyes showing terror… a movie scream queen… but more convincing… No, there’s a camera. It can’t be real.

The Rutgers guy pulls out… bending his back and knees showing he’s still hard. He shifts his body… grabbing the young man on the bed… The duct-taped guy twists away. The big guy grabs him by the shoulder, turns him on his back… slaps him hard… one cheek… then the next.

Slap! Slap! Slap!

Then, the big guy tears the pretty boy’s shirt… same cross chest motion… rrrrrrip. Buttons fly like mini-bullets. Then the black t-shirt underneath… rrrrrrip! Reaching down, the big guy --somehow he suddenly seems Russian to me… close-cropped hair… light… big square face-- takes each of the other guy’s nipples in his fingers… and twists. The guy on the bed struggles to scream under the duct tape… He raises his head and smashes it against the bed beneath him, as if fighting the pain in his chest. The camera moves in for a close-up… showing a thin stream of drool leaking from behind the tape down the side of the pretty boy’s face.

The guy on the bed ignores the camera… acts like it’s not there… further proof it’s all staged… but his taped face of pain and terror is convincing. I stroke myself faster.

The big guy reaches down and opens the young man’s belt…. tugging on the buckle to whip it through the loops. Then in one big yank, he pulls down the Levis and whatever was underneath. The taped guy’s good parts lay limp between his legs. The Russian reaches to grab the whole kit and caboodle in his right hand. When he gets a good grip, he squeezes.

The tendons on the back of his hand bulge against the skin as he squeezes harder. The taped guy on the bed, twists against the squeezing hand. It looks like he’s going to lose it all... have it ripped from his body… How can he stand that kind of pain? It’s faked, right? It’s a show.

The Russian releases the equipment, and grabs a shoulder to flip the guy onto his stomach. Playing his victim’s ass like bongos, he smashes his hands against those tight white buttcheeks, turning them bright red. The camera pulls back. We see the big Russian kneeling between the guy’s legs. His Russian hard-on as big and solid as a little league baseball bat. This time without saliva lubricant, he plunges in.

The eyes of the young man on the bed bulge harder, like they’re going to leave their sockets. The Russian pumps away. He grabs a handful of the young man’s hair and pulls up… bending the guy’s body into a Nike swoosh.

Ride ‘em cowboy!!

Another facial close-up. Just the eyes of the guy being fucked. Tears dribble down from those eyes to the duct tape below… every once in awhile the irises disappear and the eyes turn red-lined white. The tears don’t stop.

I’m rubbing myself raw… even rawer… the chafing skin is just this side of bleeding… Oh yeah, it hurts so good.

Here it comes… The Russian pulls out, shifts to kneel right over the young guy’s face. He pumps himself… If only I can wait until he’s ready… Hold it! Hold it! BLAM! Right in those teary eyes. Yes! Yes! A perfect match… He spews. I only dribble.

“Mykel, what the fuck? Why are you telling us this shit?”

“Goddamn, it’s you again… Literary Device… Jesus fuckin’ Christ… At least this time you let me cum first.”

“But what’s the point here? To show us how sick you are… how fucked up the internet is… how we can convince ourselves things are fake if they satisfy our own personal pleasure?”

“Bingo!” I say.

“You’re saying we’re in an age of fake news and we can’t trust what we see even if we enjoy it?”

“In an era of fake news? No, we’ve ALWAYS been in an era of fake news. Ever since William Randolph Hearst promised Teddy Roosevelt a war using staged photos and fake attacks. Fake news is what we live with. Truth --if it exists-- is an accident.”

You believe what you want to believe… and trust those sources that confirm those beliefs. Who knows? And there’s no way to check. I may have been jerking off to an actual rape, but in order to keep my hard-on, I needed to convince myself it was staged.

So you go through life… You divide the world into good and evil and when events don’t match your image… you say they’re fake. But the reality is that the world is complicated, and people (including the President of the United States) are neither good nor evil, but complex beings with complex motives reported in ways that confirm or offend our points of view. It’s ALL fake news. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

- end -

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at mykelboard@gmail.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. ]

→ Student Narc Dept: WNBC Boston reports that a substitute teacher was fired after the instructor was caught smoking marijuana in a Massachusetts classroom. The teacher was fired after lighting up and discussing the herb with his students. Marijuana is decriminalized in Massachusetts, and apparently it was one of the students who narced on the teacher.

→ Speaking of Fake News Dept: Another teacher was fired… this one for telling the truth. Metro New York reported that a Brooklyn sub teacher was fired and refused future work in the state. Why? He told his class that “Santa isn’t real.” So now, teachers are REQUIRED to spread fake news… even if they know it’s fake.

→The Nose Doesn’t Know Dept: Press and government scare mongering has gotten us so skittish that we can evacuate a bus from a deodorant attack. The Huffington Post explains: Thirty students were evacuated from a Florida school bus this week in what the driver reported as a possible “hazardous materials” incident. They were treated on the scene for mild respiratory irritation after smelling a “strong odor.” All were transported to a nearby high school to be picked up by their families.

The odor turned out to be Axe Body Spray, which a student had apparently sprayed liberally on the bus, said Division Chief Mike Williamson. When no one confessed to using the spray, Williamson personally interviewed every student to sniff out the culprit. He said it was the first Axe Body Spray evacuation of his 33-year career.

LINK TRADE DEPARTMENT:

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends --and enemies-- in their blogs. So facebook me or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you. You add me.

Here's a start:

• David Goldberg's Busy Microbes Blog
• And another Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com
• Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency
• And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out Yesterday's Recipes.
• And here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour diary of sorts.
• Andy Shelton has an interesting blog here.
• Savage Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.
• Chris Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS. You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue soon.
• George Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books featured prominently. If there’s no link here (I can’t find it temporarily), then Google… er… Duckduckgo him for information.
• And my long-term pal Sid Yiddish contributes with his Mishegas Master Blog.

Let me know if you have a blog… or a PRINT zine and want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already seen mine. god@mykelboard.com

You’re Still Wrong Mykel's Blog December 2019 or My Equality Ain’t Equal to Your Equality!

You’re STILL Wrong

or
Mykel's

December 2019 Blog/Column

My Equality Ain’t Equal to Your Equality

by Mykel Board

PART ONE: Why don’t they just get a job?

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. -Anatole France

Columbus Circle… almost in Central Park… splendid view… overlooking the magnificent greenery of the park. A glass of wine sits on the table in front of me. It was poured from a bottle with a label picture of a very long house… etched in red… with a flag on top at one end of the house and the word: POMMARD underneath. I don’t know that word in French… maybe it’s a name… or a place… or has something to do with an apple.

The waiter… a thin white guy… mid twenties with a perfectly trimmed beard… brings a plate of something and sets it in front of me. I’m not sure what it is. It looks like a baby lobster tail covering a pea which is in turn covered with a sauce carefully dripped over the legume… puddling slightly on the right side of the plate. No, there’s something yellow-brown in there. It looks like a grape. A spiral of onion sits on top.

The dish is one course of a prix fixe dinner offered by Per Se, a fabulous French restaurant with a different fixed menu every day. A full course meal… including desert… is a flat fee... Just $225 a person… plus another hundred and a quarter for wine… plus tax and a tip... of course.

That’s for ten courses, including nice homey comfort food: macaroni and cheese… French style. Oh it’s just too droll.

After wining and dining my way through the dinner, I have just enough room left for a couple dollar slices of pizza and a mug of Yuengling. I’ll grab them on the way to the subway.

I’ll take the D train to Broadway-Bleecker St. I can stop at the Bleecker Street bar between the station and home.

Notice: The NY Transit system is downsizing. Trains run slow. Finding a working escalator or elevator is as likely as finding a Social Justice Warrior who doesn’t find me offensive.

Yet they’re downsizing the repair and most other transit departments. Fewer people to do EVERYTHING except one job. And in that one job, the plan is to increase the workforce by 500 people. Did you guess it? TRANSIT COPS!

Instead of building restrooms in stations, they can arrest people who piss off the platform. That’s something I’ve done myself... more times than I’ve farted in a Mexican restaurant. But wait! There’s more: instead of giving poor people free transit passes like I’ve heard they do in Chicago, they can arrest people who jump over the turnstiles. Instead of building public housing… they can use jails to house the blanketed homeless who live underground.

“They could just get a job,” say those who are annoyed that cardboard box houses on the platforms are offending their visual space, “but they don’t.”

Yo asshole! They could just have a crowbar up their sleeve and smash your head with it. These people are hurting no one. They are causing no pain, destroying no resources. That’s certainly more than can be said about the bank-working keyboard tappers in the skyscrapers next to them. Or the scummy Real Estate Agents who do nothing but work for companies that raise rents and throw people out on the street… or the useless IT developers who bank thousands from moving electrons around to make it easier for your cellphone to collect information to sell to advertisers so they can market more directly to you.

Street begging is the highest form of work-- and the least destructive. They ask for money and you give it because you want to... the purest of transactions…. In return you get a smile, or maybe a god bless you. The perfect vendor-customer relationship. Why penalize these vendors? In the meantime, you have quarter-pounder tossing minimum-wage burger flippers… who (barely) earn their living by destroying people’s health. What’s in it for them?

Meanwhile people spend $300 on minuscule dishes with some god-awful French wine.

Look, buckaroos, you don’t end poverty by making it illegal. You end poverty by taking money away from those who have too much and giving it to those who don’t have enough. You don’t blame the police for mishandling the mentally ill. You train people to handle the mentally ill so you don’t have to rely on the cops in the first place.

Last month, I wrote about my time in Punxsutawney PA (see part two) with the working poor of a small town famous for one day a year. The roofer who just likes being under the blue sky. The former college professor who is fed up with students who don’t want to learn how to think and schools that don’t want to teach how to think.

There may be homelessness in Punxy, but I didn’t see it. Yes I saw poor people. Yes, I felt people hanging out at the library who were somehow… I donno… off. But there were no cops throwing them out. There were two restrooms, available to all.

There were things I didn’t see… and my friend Vincent seems to think I’m romanticizing a bit. He’s the one who sent me the email in PART TWO.

PART TWO: Department of Corrections

It’s rare that people I write about answer what I write. It’s rare that they even read it, I’m afraid.

One of the many things I’ve learned in my 60 years of shit-slinging is that if I write about anyone (except my pal Sid Yiddish), that person will not like it.

I could write: She was beautiful… like a Roman statue.. alabaster… if it weren’t for the tiny birthmark on her chin, you wouldn’t believe she was real.

The next day I’d hear. “What’s the matter with you? Why did you write about that birthmark? You’re making me look ugly to people who’ve never met me. You’re an asshole and I hate you.”

Writers lose friends by writing about them. So it was with much trepidation that I opened the email from my Punxsutawney friend that I called Vincent, the former college prof.

Instead of hating me, he was correcting me. Something I usually pay for from ladies in tight black dresses… with riding crops.

VINCENT: Your revelations about " Vincent" are not accurate. I left academia after 9 Universities given their idiocracy failure to teach students how to think critically; that is, none of the liberal arts/philosophy/scientific methodology is taught in these middle-tier institutions. Most of these students have no interest in curious learning and WE should not encourage most of them to pursue a liberal arts education. Instead, two year vocational training is much more practical, and would save them money and professors a great deal of misery.

Indeed, most of the small town citizens are friendlier than those of large cities. Nevertheless, you were not here with sufficient time to encounter their abject dismissal of the benefit and, perhaps, their disdain of the intellectual life. My friend MB hates lawyers, politicians, and other professionals who have invested years of study to achieve their status. While I understand his animus, he and the others despise book learning as a waste of time. Why? Because they had difficulty in abstract thinking in school. I have begun to understand that sentiment, I have realized that cognitive ability varies a great deal; and a person can earn a good living engaged in hard physical labor. Hence, I advocate schools that direct most students to consider vocational training and faster employment; we as Americans must not claim that everyone should pursue a liberal arts education.

MYKEL: Good reason to quit academia. If there is anything lacking in the American people it is the ability to think critically… or think at all. There is too much teaching what to think… especially enforced by narrow-minded students and greedy administrations… and not enough HOW to think.

But I disagree on the solution. Vocational training is the PROBLEM… not the answer. Students use their educational training for an occupation. They’ve invested in an “education” as job training. They have no interest in “curious learning” but they should. Higher education should not be a kind of air-conditioning repair school on a $100,000 budget. The purpose of higher education --and the purpose of education in general-- should be to encourage thought... exploration... wonder... logic.. in the students. Let them do with it as they will. We put too much emphasis in getting a job, earning money. There is no dignity in picking up garbage for the city… or shuffling electrons for a bank. There IS dignity in being able to use logic, compassion, innovation, in every day life.

VINCENT: The notion of "Trump country" for these people is that such LGBQT and illegal alien rights do not deserve special treatment. Alternatively, you might be surprised by the number of Lesbians in this town. I am not; many of them have experienced difficult relations with men and decide to raise their children alone. That is a cultural aberration.

MYKEL: I don’t doubt that most people oppose “special treatment” for people different than they are. (Though I don’t expect they would mind special treatment (under a different name: politeness, consideration, fair compensation) for themselves. In most cases, though, it is not the “special treatment” that is the problem. It’s defining what special treatment is. For example, gender-neutral restrooms are not “special treatment.” Everyone has access to them equally and can use them in the same way.

I’ve written a lot on the subject of gay marriage, but the unequal treatment is not in the gay part, but in the marriage part. Why are certain rights: extended health insurance benefits, alimony, hospital visitation, in some cases even sexual contact… given to married people, but not to singles. The “special rights” are to those who are married regardless of gender. Marriage is a religious institution and should be treated as such. The government has no business in encouraging it with special privileges.

VINCENT: "Earnest" was misunderstood. He has been a "roofer" for over 12 years, long before Trump had any influence.

With respect to gun ownership, this is "hunting" country. I do not understand the shooting of a stationary animal and how it is in any way "sporting." Yet, even those with significant education love it.

MYKEL: Thanks for the correction about Earnest. I’m sorry for the error. There is also another good point here. City or country… not all the people are the same. The fact that there’s a hunting show on in a bar, doesn’t mean everyone in that bar likes hunting.

VINCENT: This town has fallen economically because the coal industry deteriorated over time, including the factories and supporting industries. Those individuals having reasonable intellectual ability have left, e.g. my class in 1975. The result is that most of the residual residents can earn only marginal incomes, at least for a number of years or until they can secure a better paying job; and the latter often depends on nepotism or otherwise knowing someone having some power.

I have to conclude that your years of experience have not exposed you to the struggling masses. Most of the women I know are working 2 or 3 jobs just to survive. However, in the history of labor in this and other nations is this unusual? NO! We cannot guarantee a perfect life with each person receiving a fantastic income.

MYKEL: I don’t know anyone who wants a “perfect life”… or wants one guaranteed. Life itself is not perfect… we all die. But the society CAN guarantee a DECENT life for each person. That is a home, enough food, heat in the winter, cooling in the summer. Some untorn clothes (except for the punk rockers who like TORN clothes). We don’t all need $300 prix fixe meals, but we all need food and drink.

VINCENT: You are correct that these plebeians--including myself, I guess--will continue to attempt to survive. Se la vie! Yet as you have implied, they are the salt of the earth--if they instill in their children the traditional values of Americans.

I don’t think the “traditional values” of Americans have much value. I’ve already mentioned the fallacy of the “dignity of work.” I also dislike the idea of self-reliance. My Japanese students don’t get it when I explain that Americans think it’s better to do something yourself than to ask others for help. They see the society as SOCIAL. And that if they can offer help, they should… and if they need help, someone else should offer it. I agree with them.

VINCENT: I am not saying or implying that you are denigrating these rural folks. However, I do believe that your analysis was a bit skewed in some ways. I guess mine would be too if I tried to assess New York City denizens.

MYKEL: Again, you’re right. I was only in Punxsy a month. When I was in Mongolia one of the professors at the university told me, “You’d better write that book in the year you’re here. After that time, you’ll realize how much you don’t understand.”

-end-

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at god@mykelboard.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Subscribe to the MYKEL'S READERS Yahoo group readmboard-subscribe@yahoogroups.com]

→ Nice Try dept: Mashable reports that Droogie, the handle of a California hacker, figured he could outsmart the DMV by choosing a license plate that would throw off the computers. He chose NULL, figuring that when the computers read the plate number, they’d toss it out. He figured wrong. What happened is that all the tickets on cars with plates that couldn’t be read went to Droogie. He was the null one, and he got all the NULL tickets-- $12,000 worth. I don’t know that this proves or disproves anything, but it’s fun to read about.

→ Sucker dept: True Activist website posted a story that McDonalds has adopted a policy that bans buying food for homeless people. Since I was in the middle of writing this blog. I had homeless on the mind, and thus was perfect sucker-bait. The story is false. Evidently some employees of a McD’s in Manchester UK told customers that, so that they could get some odoriferous people out of the building. They made it up on the spot. I need to be more careful.

→ Whoops dept: The government of South Dakota had started a campaign to inform people that they were working to reduce methamphetamine use in the state.

This follows on the… er… heels of another South Dakota campaign, this one aimed at teaching drivers not to jerk the wheel to correct an ice skid:

LINK TRADE DEPARTMENT:

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends --and enemies-- in their blogs. So facebook me or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you. You add me.

Here's a start:

• David Goldberg's Busy Microbes Blog
• And another Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com
• Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency
• And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out Yesterday's Recipes.
• And here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour diary of sorts.
• Andy Shelton has an interesting blog here.
• Savage Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.
• Chris Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS. You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue soon.
• George Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books featured prominently. If there’s no link here (I can’t find it temporarily), then Google… er… Duckduckgo him for information.
• And my long-term pal Sid Yiddish contributes with his Mishegas Master Blog.

Let me know if you have a blog… or a PRINT zine and want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already seen mine. god@mykelboard.com