HIT HARDER! or You're STILL wrong... Mykel's Blog for October 2022

 

HIT HARDER!

or You're STILL Wrong,

Mykel's October 2022 Blog

by Mykel Board

There’s nothing wrong with a screw that a hammer can’t fix.

--Mongolian proverb

An Indian grandfather is talking to his grandson. He says it’s as if two wolves are fighting in his heart. One wolf is vengeful and angry, and the other wolf is understanding and kind. The young man asks his grandfather which wolf will win the fight in his heart. The grandfather answers, "The one that wins will be the one I choose to feed.” — Pema Chodron

Violence is as American as apple pie – H. Rap Brown

There is no greater tyranny than that which is perpetrated under the shield of the law and in the name of justice. - Charles-Louis de Secondat

-----

It’s that scene where Al Pacino sprays the room with bullets. You know.. the gritted teeth, the flying blood, the… what the fuck? He dissolves, the whole scene dissolves into little boxes… stuttering picture… squares shifting… a jigsaw puzzle from hell.

I sit up… lean over … smash my fist against the side fo the TV. CHUMP! CHUMP! CHUMP! It only makes the picture worse. I get out of bed… pad barefoot to the kitchen… a frying pan… that should do it. WHACK! WHACK… A scar appears on the side of the TV. The black metal frame glints silver. Scarface has completely disappeared… just a gray screen… not black… the TV is on… but gray… refusing to show color.

To the closet! A hammer! WaTOOM! WaTOOM! WaTOOM! The TV glass cracks, sprays itself over the bed… Somewhere a small spark ignites.

Flash to someplace in Alabama: I can’t remember the town’s name… a small town. It’s on the news. A 20-something year old guy shot his family. Body count: Mom, Dad, older Sister, and much younger brother.

The sheriff is making a statement. “We believe we have the perpetrator in custody. He has a record… convicted of a crime with a gun. He only served a year for that crime. If he was still in jail, like he should have been, that family would be alive today.”

OUCH! I just slammed the heel of my palm into my forehead. How can people think that way? It’s like fixing a TV with a hammer if your fist doesn’t work.

If people commit crimes after being released from jail, it doesn’t mean that they should spend more time in jail. It means JAILS DON’T WORK! Jail takes away homes, jobs, friends, dignity. What’s left after getting out? CRIME! That’s what.

What it comes down to is that, in America, jail isn’t to cure or prevent crime. Jail is to make the victims of crimes feel better. Jail is about revenge… codenamed justice or being held accountable. Often it’s a training camp… and the only place inmates will feel comfortable in their future lives. Prison is HOME.

Now what happens when the victims become the judges and juries. Any idea of justice flies out the window like my errant TV.

Take the January 6 fratboy riot at the capitol. They’re planning to overthrow the government… with bear spray? They’re violent insurrectionists... with plastic zip ties? Seems to me that insurrectionists shoot people They use guns. Only one person was shot at the capitol… and she was shot by the cops.

Congressional trials by victims? You bet your horned hat. Congress will throw the book (and encourage local jurisdictions to throw several years) at these guys. Boo hoo hoo. Some congressfolks had to hide in a bomb shelter. Big fuckin’ deal! But the victims are the judges and jury.

FLASH: imagine that the newly formed Amazon Workers Union, has a rebellion... a piss-in... creating a stream of urine-soaked inventory to call attention to Amazon’s refusal to give time off for its drivers to use the bathroom. Workers rebel. Pissing on books and kitchenware and whatever else Amazon sends trucking through America.

Now imagine the pissers are rounded up… dicks and twats milked for DNA matching with what’s found on the products destroyed. And, get this, the jury is made up of Amazon’s board of directors. And the judge? You guessed it: JEFF BEZOS!

That’s what happened in Washington with the rioters. A couple windows broken… some furniture moved… that’s it! But a former president’s home is raided. One of the rioters gets 7 years in prison! News programs scream “It was revolution,” as if George Washington carried plastic twisties with him.

In 1968, in Chicago, the Yippies and others came together to wreck the Democratic Convention and call for REVOLUTION. I was among them. There was lots of publicity… no one went to jail. An no Democrat had to hide under their Chicago desks.

In 2022 Who conducts the congressional inquiry? Why the Congressfolks themselves. Anti-abortion, pro-Iraqi War, 90% Trump supporter and Congresswoman Elizabeth Cheney wields the gavel. Suddenly, she’s the heroine… the love of the Democrats. Principles be damned… THEY ATTACKED US! VICTIMS RULE.

REVENGE!

If this riot were in a school, you’d hardly hear about it. If it were at Amazon headquarters, you probably would be cheering on the perps! (I would be!) But in Washington, where the “victims” become the judge and jury, you switch sides.

Google “slap on the wrist” and you’ll find dozens of complaints about punishments that aren’t severe enough. Try “revolving door justice” and you’ll get the same.

REVENGE! REVENGE! REVENGE!

It’s not a Department of Corrections… but a Department of Punishment.

The calls for vengeance… usually known by its drag name justice… come from all sides. Depending on how the press frames the crime, those calls come from the left, right and center. George Bush the First was elected by videos of a black guy with an Afro going round and round in a revolving door.

More punishment. More blood! It’s the American way. The World Trade Center is destroyed by Saudis… Well, attack Iraq! All those people died. SOMEBODY’S got to pay, right?

In 2020, the black guy wasn’t going around a revolving door. He was under a cop’s knee. This time the calls came from the other side, but they were no less hateful and demanding.

Black Lives Matter is right. I marched on their first demonstration that year. I still support them. People need to see victims of crime… NOT to have revenge against the criminals, but to prevent the crime in the first place. It is so much more important to have awareness that some groups of people have been considered disposable, than it is to have one or two scapegoats for a system gone wrong.

You think the cries for Donald Trump to be “imprisoned for his crimes” are because people want him to be rehabilitated????

I remember when the cops broke into Jello Biafra’s house… tearing the place apart looking for pornography to help their case against a graphic record insert. We were rightly horrified that the cops smash the door to someone’s house without their permission... just tear up the place... steal documents… electronics, and then be free to use what they steal to press charges instead of being prosecuted themselves for the destruction.

But let it happen to someone you don’t like. And a cheer goes up. Let it happen to someone accused of fomenting false conspiracies. False conspiracies grow from the opposing side. Did you know that the FBI found Trump was selling US nuclear weapons-making instructions to the Russians? Can you get more evil than that?

Of course, no one found anything like that. The closest we get was a MAYBE that the president took home some papers on the nuclear capabilities of other countries… nothing about how to make atomic bombs with ammonia and old lightbulbs. But people will believe anything if it fits the narrative.

So the news stations that reported that the president took home American nuclear secrets apologized when they were proven wrong. Yeah right. Did you get calls from THE OTHER SIDE for something called the CONSTITUTION which says people should be secure in their homes? You bet your MSNBC you didn’t! HATE rules the day! More cheers and emails in my inbox telling me how wonderful Liz Cheney is and how much she needs me.

That woman is so cold that an ice cube wouldn’t melt in her ass. That woman, who according to PoliticsThatWork opposes taxing businesses, consumer protection, environmental protection, financial sector regulation, gun control, public health, humane immigration policy, labor rights and wages, lgbt rights, racial equality, taxing the wealthy, countering Russian interference, women's rights and supports big business, and war whenever possible.

She needs me?

People who should be opposed to everything she stands for… are suddenly in love with her. Why? Because she’s getting revenge on somebody they HATE. 

These days they say HATE is a crime. You can even be arrest for it. But the law-writers pick and choose their hate. You’re not allowed to do that.

See you in hell.

Mykel Board

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at mykelboard@gmail.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Send me an email with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. Back blogs and columns are at https://mykelsblog.blogspot.com]

→ Four strikes and you’re out dept: As more states stupidly fight crime with baseball-like “three strikes and you’re out” laws, those laws make even judges cry.
    Timothy Jackson was caught shoplifting a $159 jacket from a New Orleans department store. At the time Jackson was a 36-year-old restaurant cook with a sixth-grade education and a drug addiction problem.
    Since this was not Jackson’s first offense, the Louisiana Court made use of his “criminal past”, (3 robbery-without-violence convictions, one as a child), and sentenced him as a fourth-strike offender.

The judge wrote, “This sentence is constitutionally excessive in that it is grossly out of proportion to the seriousness of the offense.” Unfortunately, she was unable to deviate from the mandatory life sentence without parole required by law.

→ Hey! That’s Jeff Bezos’ tuna dept: The ACLU reports that in Texas, in 2010, Larry Dayries stole a tuna sandwich from Whole Foods while wielding a knife. He had prior convictions for burglary and theft, so the sandwich incident landed him a 70-year sentence. Larry will be 111 at the end of his sentence.
    Yeah, sure he’ll be 111. He’ll be DEAD at the end of his sentence.

See you in hell, redux,

MB

THE NATION AGAIN

I’m a long-time subscriber to the The Nation. It’s the only lefty publication that I find myself not only agreeing with, but also getting inspiration from. There are two articles in the current issue I’d like to recommend herel Strangely, when I post this stuff on facebook, no one looks at it. My “friends” would just rather call me a “Trumpist” or a “Republican” for all the times I don’t follow the party line.

One article is a great one (though I disagree with some parts of it, of course). It’s about “How the US leads by helping other people kill each other.” There’s also a good one about Liz Cheney, with a slightly different point of view from mine.

LINK TRADE DEPARTMENT:

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends and enemies in their blogs. So facebook me or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you. You add me.

Here's a start:

First take Sid Yiddish. There’s a great interview with him on YouTube. You can check it out here.

Here’s Richard Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com

Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency

And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out Yesterday's Recipes.

And here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour diary of sorts.

Andy Shelton has an interesting blog here.

Savage Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.

Chris Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS. You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue soon.

George Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books featured prominently. If there’s no link here (I can’t find it temporarily), then Google… er… Duckduckgo him for information.

And my long-term pal Sid Yiddish contributes again with his Mishegas Master Blog.

And connect to TRUST Zine, a long-running German punk zine… that STILL PRINTS!!! Yeah, they have a website too… of course! It’s here.

Here are a couple video links.

This from Jon Cox https://squelchchamber1.bandcamp.com/album/down-so-low

And this one from my very long-time friend Roger Armstrong.

Jim Testa moved his long running zine, Jersey Beat, to the blogosphere awhile back. You can read it here. Jim also recommended a kind of unique album… in a style you don’t see to much of these days… or any days. Neo-Hassidic Rock Opera. You can stream the album here.

Kyle Nonneman is in prison in Portland. At least he can’t be kidnapped by the secret police… I think. I post his blog for him, he can’t do it from the klink. Lots of stuff about noise metal… and some very weird politics that will either fascinate or repulse you… or both.

My long time pal, Jim Hayes rightfully complained about my leaving out his blog. He’s a great writer, so it was a tragic omission. Here it is.

Oh yeah, then there’s me. I have a blog of stuff I’ve written mostly from last century. You might enjoy it. Then again, you might not. It’s here.

Let me know if you have a blog… or a print zine… or a YouTube and want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already seen mine. god@mykelboard.com

Wait! Don't Jump from That Bridge Until We Get To It (Mykel Board's Dec Blog)

 YOU'RE STILL WRONG.. 

MYKEL'S DEC. 2020 BLOG

OR

FUCK YOU 2020!

by Mykel Board

The top people in the Pentagon probably aren't happy with me because they want to do nothing but fight wars so all of those companies that make the bombs and make the planes and make everything else stay happy. --Donald Trump

Spread the faith. God love you all. May God bless America and may God protect our troops. --Joe Biden

I limp to the post office in my brand new foot-steadying surgical shoe… the foot in that shoe wrapped in a “soft cast’... my daily 4+ mile walks on hold while some toe-connecting nerve repairs itself. My goal for now: cut down to 2 miles a day. That’s gonna be hard. Monday I walked 7 miles.

FLASH TO MONDAY: I walk across the George Washington Bridge... from Washington Heights, Manhattan to Fort Lee, New Jersey. The GWB is the only bridge in Manhattan that goes to another state. I walk… hugging the right side… dodging cyclists.

A metal netting covers the bridge… from street level to higher than anyone can climb. It’s clearly a late addition… a normal/jumpable railing –now unreachable– lays like an artifact, on the far side of the mesh.

About half-way across the bridge... a public-service poster… Suicide Prevention Hotline. It makes me smile.

Here it is! Oooo lala! Ft. Lee... famous for its Korean food… cheaper and better than Manhattan. I look around. No one’s on the sidewalk. Outdoor tables are empty.

To my left: apartment buildings. To my right: something restaurant-looking… a red building with a few unlit Christmas lights. I cross the wide road from the bridge and follow it to the building: FRANCO’S ITALIAN. It’s closed. Chairs upside down on the tables inside.

I ask Google to find the nearest Korean Restaurant.

“Back to the bridge,” she tells me.

I shudda turned left.

Back I go, following the Google map. Turn left where I’d turned right... past more closed restaurants… Very few people walk the sidewalks. None look Korean. The shells of ethnic restaurants stick out like bones in a famine victim. It’s worse than New York… dark in the afternoon… a few tables outside… empty and forlorn in the fading light. It’s creepy.

Right here! Says the black dot in the red Google-balloon. There is indeed a restaurant. It says Chinese. I walk in. All the signs are in Hangul. I figure it’s gotta be Korean-style Chinese. I figure right. Mmmm boy!

Stir fry… enough to take some home… served Korean style, where one dish gets you half a dozen dishes, pickles, kimchi, mystery vegetables in little plates of their own… all spiced enough to make you feel the burn. I order something stir fried... best restaurant meal of the year. I pack up what I can’t finish... leave my credit card next to the empty plate… Put on my trenchcoat...

POW! One… two… three... punch to the gut. I the spice burn through every inch of my large intestine… building brown… trying to force its way out of my 70-year loosened sphincter. Pow! Off to the men’s room. There is no men’s room… just one restroom with one toilet. I flip the light switch. Nothing happens. With the door closed, I feel randomly for the toilet. Ah, there it is… Yes! Yes! Yes! I just make it… Hitting the bowl… missing the floor… I hope.

FLASH TO RIGHT NOW: A line of masked millennials winds itself down Broadway to Bleecker, then down the long block to Lafayette Street. Then it curls around Lafayette… goes halfway up the block.

I’m used to the lines. There’s a sneaker shop where Adidas and Nike release their newest scams to a waiting line of fanatics and eBay resellers. It’s a hobby... New Yorkers love to stand on line... especially 20-somethings. (For those of you off the East Coast… here we stand ON line… not IN line!) For those waiting, a long line shows the place is good… worth waiting for. Yep, waiting itself shows it’s worth the wait. These are the breadlines of the old Soviet Union… the welfare lines of the Great Depression… recast... upscale.

Today the wait is for City MD, an “Urgent Care” clinic. Usually it’s where people with lousy insurance go so they don’t have to pay hundreds for a hospital waiting room. Today they wait for a free COVID-19 test. Mostly masked, somewhat less than socially distant.. the cellphone-reading chirps stand there for two hours to have their noses stuck with a wooden stick. In half a week they find out if they’ve got it or not?

Whoa…. Let me see if I’ve got that right. People who think they may have the plague wait on line with other people who think they may have the plague, creating a mini-mob. The nose-scrapers test the crowd and then find… surprise!… a higher percentage has the plague than was recorded before the free testing. And tomorrow... there’ll be even more.

What a surprise? A line of people who think they have the disease turns out to produce more people who actually do have the disease. Shocking! And what does that mean? LOCKDOWN RETURNS… Restaurants close… the fear grows. More folks wait on line to be tested.

My pal Troy tells me, in Japan, there are more suicides than Corona deaths. In the US, people are to afraid to kill themselves. Instead, New Yorkers engage in their favorite line-waiting activity to learn in a few days… that they didn’t have the disease a few days ago… but might have caught it by now and should stand on line again next week... for another test.

Meanwhile, bars and restaurants close at 10PM… and those who can’t pay their vacancy expenses… commit mom-and-pop-store-suicide. My favorite midtown Irish bar… and my favorite midtown izakaya… both dead from Covid… make that Covid FEAR.

I tell ya, I want to jump off a bridge… or at least move to Japan.

I write this November 21^st. Donny Trump is still protesting the election. Frankly, I’d (slightly) prefer a Trump president to one who gets his funds from banks and the big drug companies. I’d prefer one with a vice president who keeps his door open when he’s with a woman, but closes it when he’s with another guy… to one who’s a cop. But it looks like Biden it will be.

In that case, he has a tough decision to make. He’s either got to pardon Trump of all crimes and get on with his HEALING THE NATION shtick… or he’s got to let the bloodlust go kablooey… satisfy the revenge-seekers... the ghouls… the vampires.

My bet’s on the “healing.” Joe Biden is Mr. Normal. He’s another old white guy who’ll keep things going just the way they used to go... nothing new or upsetting here… everything just like it was before. He’ll “re-engage America with the world.” That means dropping bombs on our “enemies” and giving weapons to our “friends.” That means Bill Clinton-like NAFTA and other “business partnerships,” making American consumers happy with cheap goods from those nice guys in China.

We’ll see a few nods to the cultural left. Some statues torn down... names changed, maybe some funds to convert mental health rescue from a police action to a… er…. mental health action. That would be a good thing. Maybe we’ll see a national Bad Cops Registry. I’m not sure about that one.

Gays and lesbians will be just normal every-day guys and gals. They’ll be able to protest homeless people begging in the neighborhood… adopt kids to send to private schools… on vouchers… give spouses the gift of shared insurance so their visit to “a specialist,” will only cost them $80.

Laws will pass creating and requiring new pronouns. The next billionaire will be transsexual… employing hundreds of thousands of people… at minimum wage. Biden will refill the prisons emptied by Trump. And the Democrats will cheer him on… The Republicans will call him “a socialist” and “soft on crime.”

And so 2021 will continue. You know a bridge without wire fencing?

- end -

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at god@mykelboard.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Send me an email with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. Back blogs and columns are at https://mykelsblog.blogspot.com

→ Proactive Interference Dept: At the end of October, the New York Times reported (since updated) that Big Tech had plans if Trump lost the election and tried to “delegitimize the results.”

According toThe Times, Facebook has discussed a “kill switch” to shut off political advertising after Election Day, since the ads, which Facebook does not police for truthfulness, could be used to spread misinformation….YouTube and Twitter have also discussed plans for action if the post-election period becomes complicated.

Nothing like a well-thought-out preventative plan in detail to show there’s no conspiracy. Right?

 → New Normal Dept: The oddest thing about this real-life picture of a warning sign in Alberta Canada is that it’s not so odd. During the complete weirditude that is 2020, you’d just figure that somehow moose tongues spread the plague. Makes as much sense as standing in line with sick people for a COVID test, doesn’t it?

→ Remains of Bidet Dept: Cracked.com reports: The toilet paper shortage is causing more than just the obvious issues. Cities are concerned that people flushing non-toilet paper items like paper towels could royally overload sewer systems. Bidets are the most obvious solution to the lack of TP issue, and Amazon is selling out of them like crazy.

Then they predict: Once the hordes lust for butt paper is satisfied, and we have a stable toilet paper supply line again, lots of people are still going to have bidets. We're going to discover that they're not as scary and European as we initially thought and why uninstall one when the next toilet paper shortage could happen at any time?

Funny... because right now, the only public bidets I know in NYC are in the basement of The Japan Society. I have to admit, they are fun. And they’re adjustable so I bet girls find a special use for that hard spray! It’s all in the plumbing. Oh yeah!

→ Cancel culture redux dept: Thanks to my long-term pal, Jim Testa, for this from NJ.com. It seems that a local Starbucks fired a woman because she refused to wear a (gay) Pride T-shirt. Instead, she wore her usual uniform, saying the t-shirt violated her religious beliefs.

Betsy Fresse, of Newark, said her managers at the Glen Ridge Starbucks “assured her” that she didn’t have to wear the T-shirt during her shift. Two months later she was sent a notice that she was being cut for “acting in violation of Starbucks’ core values.”

Fresse said that being made to wear a Pride T-shirt as a condition of employment would be tantamount to forced speech and inaccurately show her advocacy of a lifestyle in direct contradiction to her religious beliefs.

She also filed a complaint with the U.S. Equal Opportunity Employment Commission, which said it was unable to conclude one way or another if Starbucks engaged in religious discrimination.

I say, it’s the next frontier. Not only the corporate censorship so loved by the new intolerants, but FORCED speech. I can understand a uniform saying whatever management wants as a condition of employment… but then a quick switch with out warning? No fuckin’ way!

What? Boss? I have to wear an I HEART BILL CLINTON t-shirt to work???? Are you kidding?

See you in hell,
MB

LINK TRADE DEPARTMENT:

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends and enemies in their blogs. So facebook me or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you. You add me.

Here's a start:

Here’s Richard Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com

Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency

And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out Yesterday's Recipes.

Rock-writer and historian extraordinaire, Jim Testa, has continued his great zine online. Jersey Beat is still going!

And here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour diary of sorts.

Andy Shelton has an interesting blog here.

Savage Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.

Chris Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS. You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue soon.

George Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books featured prominently. If there’s no link here (I can’t find it temporarily), then Google… er… Duckduckgo him for information.

And my long-term pal Sid Yiddish contributes with his Mishegas Master Blog.

And connect to TRUST Zine, a long-running German punk zine… that STILL PRINTS!!! Yeah, they have a website too… of course! It’s here.

Here are a couple video links.

This from Jon Cox https://squelchchamber1.bandcamp.com/album/down-so-low

And this one from my very long-time friend Roger Armstrong.

Jim Testa moved his long running zine, Jersey Beat, to the blogosphere awhile back. You can read it here. Jim also recommended a kind of unique album… in a style you don’t see to much of these days… or any days. Neo-Hassidic Rock Opera. You can stream the album here.

Kyle Nonneman is in prison in Portland. At least he can’t be kidnapped by the secret police… I think. I post his blog for him, he can’t do it from the klink. Lots of stuff about noise metal… and some very weird politics that will either fascinate or repulse you… or both.

Oh yeah, then there’s me. I have a blog of stuff I’ve written mostly from last century. You might enjoy it. Then again, you might not. It’s here.

I have a very occasional blog about how rich people are just like us… same needs, same desires, you know. You can read it here.

Let me know if you have a blog… or a print zine… or a YouTube and want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already seen mine. god@mykelboard.com

You're Still Wrong... Mykel's April 2020 Blog or I'm So Honored...

YOU'RE STILL WRONG.. 

MYKEL'S April 2020 BLOG 

OR

I'm sO hONORED TO bE eLECTED

by Mykel Board

I never expected to be here in front of you all… writing these words… presenting this to the world stage. Those who know me well, know that I don’t aim to be a winner. Victories are for schemers, steroid users, corporate shills, scum in general. The good, the right, the brave, the fair, the compassionate, are losers. Winners are never good people and vice versa.

But somehow I did it. I beat the odds. was elected. I don’t know how I did it, but I know I couldn’t have done it without the help of each and every one of you. I owe you… and I will now explain how I’m going to pay you back.

I assure you, I don’t take the office of God lightly. As one newly elected to the position… I have my work cut out for me. These are perilous times we live in. Times of despair… times of panic… times of anger. I hear people calling out to me… even those who don’t believe I exist, are calling my name.

“Oh please God!” “God save us!” “God forbid!” “God damn it!”

I’ve heard you all. Here’s what I’m going to do for you.

First, there’s Hoaryville… on the drawing board for years… but we’re going to build it.

[Audience chant: Build the ville! Build the ville! Build the ville!]

We need a place to take care of the aged, the sick, the weak. We need special protection for those who cannot protect themselves. We will build the ville! Yes, I’m one of those. I’m fuckin’ GOD, after all. You can’t get older than me. I’m older than the universe! Older than Joe Biden… for fuck’s sake. We, the elderly... the weak lung-ed... those with immune system problems. We’re most at risk of heavy consequences and we need to be removed from the general population. So there will be Hoaryville… a place for all of us to cavort freely with each other… a place where every resident is in the danger class, tested and admitted to free luxury accommodation in Ft. Lauderdale.

Then there’s the panic. Humanity is losing itself. People walk the streets in gloves and masks. Human contact is forbidden. The arts: musea are closed. Theaters are shuttered. Shops and restaurants are empty. You can’t go into a bar that doesn’t reek of Purell. And in New York and more cities as we speak, you can’t go into a bar at all.

People have turned themselves into recluses… often with violence against anyone who dares shake hands. Cities in Europe are on complete lockdown. Like cattle dancing into an abattoir, citizens around the world shut themselves in homes and apartments… going out only for food and even then... wearing rubber gloves and a face mask.

The actual threat is minor. No worse than the flu… that killed 61,000 people in one year… infected 43 million! Without panic. Without singing happy birthday over the soap in the sink. But let there be a new disease... One that started in (woooooo…. scary) China… and people are buying 50 rolls of toilet paper and punching random Orientals!

Well, I’m going to end that… and end it fuckin’ soon! Except for the residents of Hoaryville, you all are going to meet each other. You’re going to shake hands, share quesadillas, mouth kiss, and butt fuck. You’re going to hold on to subway polls and pass dollar bills to homeless people. Some of you are going to get sick… like the flu… and you’ll get over it and never be able to get the same disease again. Instead of killing off weak viruses… so only the strong survive… you’ll be building your own body’s natural defenses so that YOU are stronger than the virus and not the other way around.

[Audience chant: Share the virus! Share the virus! Share the virus!]

You’re going to be so fuckin’ immune that you’ll tolerate the worst cases of corona, swine, bird, Ebola. Your tolerance will increase so much that you’ll be able to shrug off the casual use of girl or Negro. You’ll be so tolerant that you’ll sit on the subway next to that Chinese lady with a surgical mask… and maybe even comment on the weather to her. You’ll be so tolerant that you’ll be able to go to a karaoke bar (yes, they’ll all be open) and smile when someone sings My Way.

Your immune system will be so built up that you’ll be able to tongue kiss that homeless guy on the corner… the one you just gave a dollar to... and you can play scat with granddad on his eightieth birthday. You won’t fear foreigners or cripples.

You’ll volunteer to feed the hungry... without wearing rubber gloves... ride an elevator without using your elbow to push the buttons.

As your elected God, I have big plans for you. And you can’t avoid them. You can hide at home… under a pile of Lysol… Yes, you can hide, but you can’t run. You’re going to have human contact. You’re going to love your neighbors… and I don’t mean VIRTUALLY love them. I mean nose in the sphincter, dick under the armpit, tongue twat-deep love them.

You’re going to share the feasts, take candy and cookies from the same box… break bread… pick up food from a communal plate with communal chopsticks. You’re going to eat Chinese, Italian, Korean. You’re going to belch, fart, cough and spit. You’re going to felch, cum guzzle, and puke. And you’re gonna love it.

The time of saying Goodbye, Stay Healthy is ending. The time of saying Yo! Let’s go out for a drink! Is returning. And you can –and should– thank God for that.

- end -

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at god@mykelboard.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Back blogs and columns are at https://mykelsblog.blogspot.com. If you want to be notified when a new blog is published, send me an email with the subject line SUBSCRIBE BLOG.

→ It had to happen dept: The Washington Times reports: Limestone County Sheriff Mike Blakely, in Athens, Alabama, faces 11 counts of theft and ethics charges related to his job. After indictment, Blakely went to the hospital, where his lawyers said he was being tested for the Corona virus. But in a special hearing, Dr. Maria Onoya told the judge that while Blakely was indeed admitted to the hospital, and received multiple tests, none of them was for Corona.

I say, Nice try, though.

→ Another point of view dept: Speaking of God… We’ve got this from New Jersey… (click here for the full video)

→ The panic is worse than the disease dept: -- NDTV reports that a man in Vilnius, Lithuania, with help from his sons, locked his wife in their bathroom after she expressed worry to him that she got corona from a trip to Italy, where she came in contact with some Chinese people. The husband called a doctor, who suggested she isolate herself. She called the cops because her husband wouldn't let her out of the bathroom. It's unclear how long she was locked in. Later reports say she was tested for the virus and did not have it.

→ Sounds like the work of Antifa dept: The website Patch says that a fourth-grade teacher was arrested in Niles, Illinois, for assaulting a neighbor and calling her "a fucking Nazi." The teacher attacked the 87-year-old woman, who is German, in the parking garage of their condominium building, where the woman was exercising. The victim was struck and fell, suffering cuts and bruises.

LINK TRADE DEPARTMENT:

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends... and enemies... in their blogs. So facebookme or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you. You add me.

Here's a start:

• From my friend and fellow poet, Richard Goldberg: goldberg.wordpress.com
• I post a blog for Kyle Nonnemon, in prison for a ton of shit. He's a smart guy, with a passion for industrial metal and a general detestation of humankind. You can read his blog at: apothelema.blogspot.com
• Poetry and humor fans will like Justin Martin in The Latency
• And my friend Mike R has a nice site with recipe hits from the past! (He cooked for me once... great stuff.) Check out .Yesterday's Recipes
• And here's one by a member of ANTI-SEEN... a tour diary of sorts.
• Andy Shelton has an interesting blog here
• Savage Hippie is a guy who has been YouTubing for a long time. Our opinions largely overlap... but he complains that I'm a Communist. I'm not! I'm a communist.
• Chris Stecher publishes a zine called PRECIS. You can see the back issue links there... and he promises a new issue soon.
• George Fertakis has a very nice graphics-heavy blog... with music and books featured prominently.
• And my long-term pal Sid Yiddish contributes with his Mishegas Master Blog.

CONTACT REDUX: You can contact me on facebook or by email at god@mykelboard.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Send me an email with the subject line SUBSCRIBE BLOG.