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Mykel's December 2025 Blog/Column
RELEVANCE
by Mykel Board
I lay naked in the crosswalk… 3rd Street and 2nd Ave. I can feel the breeze over my body… the cold asphalt against my back. My mind is a fog. Why am I here? How did I get here? Why naked? Something must have happened, but what? I can hear the cars drive around me. I can force my eyes to open… expecting to see a curious crowd looking down at me… maybe a few giggles at my shrunken meat and potatoes. But I see only the tops of passing cars… surrounding buildings… the fading light of a setting sun.
“Stand back… stand away,” I hear spoken in an extremely authoritarian voice… could be a cop.
There’s a siren in the distance… getting louder… maybe it’s for me. Suddenly the sound stops and I hear the click of doors opening… the thump of men jumping to the street… A man wearing a reflective vest stands near my head. A woman similarly dressed stands at my feet.
“What’s your name?” asks the man.
“Mykel Board,” I answer.
“Why are you naked and lying in the street?” he asks.
“I don’t know,” I answer.
“Are you registered to vote?” he asks.
“I’m lying naked in the street… unable to move… and you want to know if I’m registered to vote?” I answer.
“Are you a Yankees fan… or a Mets fan?” he asks.
“If I say Red Sox will you leave me here?” I ask.
“What color socks do you usually wear?” he asks.
“Ok, Mykel,” says Literary Device, “We get the picture. Now what’s the point? You’re obviously using this fake situation as a metaphor for something. What’re you trying to say? You think we like looking at your limp Vienna sausage just so you can make a point? What IS that point, Mykel?”
Ok, I’ll tell you. It comes from a facebook discussion, but it’s got wider implications. I said on facebook that I admired the courage of the few Dems who voted to start up the government again. They defied the brass... thought people getting their paychecks and food stamp recipients eating were more important than holding out to prove a point. Defying the boss takes balls… and these guys (and gals) had the (metaphorical) balls.
And the answers I got after posting this?
How could you support Trump?... Why do you favor pulling healthcare from the poor? ...Since when did you become MAGA? ...It was wrong to cave in like that…
These answers were as relevant to the comment as Are you registered to vote? is to a naked man lying in a crosswalk. Relevance. Relevance. Relevance. THAT’s what I want to write about. My facebook post was not about whether the budget is good or bad… or what’s not in the budget that isn’t passing. My post was about whether bucking party bosses and friends and family was an act of courage… or not. Of course it was! If someone climbs a fence to tickle bull balls hanging from a live bull, she commits an act of courage. It may not be smart, vegan, or match who knows what odd politics… but it is courageous.
As I type these words, television news sells its prescription drugs with the Jeffrey Epstein drama. The tale is mysterious and filled with lies and misleading almost-lies. Women who had sex before the legal age are called survivors. Jeffrey Epstein, murdered in jail to shut him up… was NOT a survivor… but no one mentions that.
[NOTE: I know I wrote about sex and Jeffrey Epstein in the last blog… but it keeps on coming back. And this is a different angle… It’s about survivors and you bet they’ll be in court getting awarded thousands (millions?) for their survival. Maybe one or two will write a best-selling book. Jeffrey Epstein will never write a book.]
[NOTE 2: I just saw a TV report on the Epstein survivors. It repeats the obvious false claims the Epstein died by suicide. That means his guards fell asleep while he wrapped the sheets around his neck? That means that someone who had dirt on the most powerful people in America.. “killed himself” before spilling the goods? Come on! Epstein could never appear in court. Could you imagine the trial? Bill Clinton as a witness? There’s no way he could be allowed to live. He was murdered.]
Ooooo, but sex… ooooo cooties. How could you survive? Romeo was 15. Juliet was 13, just bat mitzvah age. In 2025, Shakespeare would have been arrested for child pornography. Romeo and Juliet would be illegal.. exploiting children. A 17-year old in the sex business is “child trafficked.” Any sex at all is exploitation. Hah, I only WISH someone had exploited me when I was 17.
“Teach me how to do it, miss… or mister. Exploit me, PLEASE!”
Nature created a natural indication of maturity. That is when a child becomes an adult… ready for sex. It’s called puberty. Allowing a 16-year-old to engage in sex for pay is certainly no worse than allowing a 16-year old to engage in grape-picking for pay. I can see making BOTH illegal if it takes away from school time, or robs an adult of a job, or violates minimum wage laws. But I can’t see making it illegal because it’s SEX.
And, back to the topic, what the fuck does where you put your penis have to do with running a country? Trump is not the stud-in-chief. Who he fucked last century does not affect his ability to govern. It’s not relevant! But …. oooooo…. It’s sex. And what do people do after sex? They survive it.
It looks like Donny Trump is going to war with Venezuela. As I write this, warships are floating in the Caribbean and warplanes are flying overhead. This is regime change… Trump’s Iraqi war. THAT is relevant. How many more will die than have already been killed in his bombing of fishing boats? Those guys WEREN’T survivors. But why care about that when there’s SEX on the table... right? War is war and we always win… right? Sex will sell more prescription Irritable Bowel Syndrome medication than international diplomacy… right?
Whether Trump or Clinton or Marjorie Taylor Greene boffed a teen does not affect the lives… or deaths… of Venezuelans. It doesn’t change the fact that the US has more medical bankruptcy than any other country in the world. It doesn’t help the random people swept off the streets by ICE and shipped to prison in El Salvador. It doesn’t help that gerrymandering wins elections despite majorities voting for the losing candidate. It doesn’t give the homeless homes. It doesn’t feed the hungry. It only feeds the need of the public for news about SEX. And it’s difficult to think of anything more important, right?
See you in hell
Mykel Board
ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at mykelboard@gmail.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Send me an email with SUBSCRIBE TO THE BLOG in the subject line. Back blogs and columns are at https://mykelsblog.blogspot.com]
→ Speaking of Epstein dept: Larry Summers, Clinton’s Treasury Secretary and an economic advisor to Obama, wrote a letter to Epstein, recently released to the public. “I’m trying to figure why American elite think if you murder your baby by beating and abandonment it must be irrelevant to your admission to Harvard, but hit on a few women 10 years ago and can’t work at a network or think tank,” Talk about hitting the nail on the head! He’s got it! More details here.
→ Speaking
of Me dept: One of my
not-so-public hobbies is writing haiku and senryu. For those who
don’t know… haiku in English are not those 5-7-5 syllabic things
you learn in school, but short poems (usually not rhyming) with 2
parts that deal with immediate, usually visual, events. There are
other parts to the genre. Senryu
are more flexible haiku… usually written in 3 lines… often
humorous or with multi-meanings. You can order
my
book on Amazon, best
if you don’t live in the US. Or from me directly (US orders only)
and I’ll sign it. Cost from me is $10… including postage if
shipped to a US address. You
can Paypal the
10 bucks to:
paypal@seidboard.com
→ Speaking of Me Again dept: I’m feeling much better after my heart attack and hospitalization. And I appreciate all the good wishes. Since then, I’ve done what people call “research” these days. That means putting something in a Google (or CHAT GBT) inquiry box. And I found just the answer I was hoping for. Benefits Of Masturbation For Heart Health: Rather than causing heart problems, masturbation can actually have some benefits for cardiovascular health. You can read the whole thing here. I didn’t make it up.
See you in hell (redux)… later rather than sooner, I hope. Happy 2026.
MB
AFRICAN LINKS:
Albert
aka Alberto Melody is the reason I went to Kenya. We met on facebook
a couple years ago. He has a blog you should take a look at:
Albertomelody.blogspot.com.
Tell him Mykel sent ya. Oh
yeah… He’s looking for friends his
own age.
So if you’re a 20-something and interested in Africa… or just
meeting new people. Contact him at: albertletowon42@gmail.com
NON-AFRICANS
Jim Testa, a long-time friend, journalist, editor, musician and wordsmith, has an interesting substack about music and more. You can find it here.
Sid Yiddish sent me this link to all his videos. It’s a great place to start, especially if you don’t know him.
I did a nice interview with The Aither zine. Interesting questions, complete, and questions I’ve never been asked before. You can read it here. It’s a good one.
Here’s Ricardo Wang with a “micro-label” in Seattle “specializing in 8-track tapes and CDs. WOW! Check out one of their label staples: The Dead Air Fresheners, best band name of the year.
Also
on bandcamp: My very long time faves in NYC, the BLACKOUT
SHOPPERS.
Featuring pals Seth and possibly the next vice-president of the
US
Sid Yiddish has posted a video of a show done for WZRD
in Chicago. Great live performances, and if you catch the video
around the 20+ minute point you might see a familiar face doing the
lyrics to his songs (some unrecorded) as poetry. You’ll find it
here.
And this sounds right up Sid’s alley. The Bilderberg Jazz Arkestra on Bandcamp!
Eric Grayson has an online music review zine, Sobriquet. Full pictures of the sleeves too! Something missing from too many zines. Sometimes you CAN judge a… er… book… by its cover.
Steen Thomsen is a Dane I’ve known ever since Lincoln was shot. I put his band THE ZERO POINT on the great WORLD CLASS PUNK Cassette for ROIR. It must be worth a mint now. I don’t have any left, I’m afraid. You can (and should) connect to the Zero Point on facebook. Tell ‘em Mykel’s blog sent you.
Sorry Dorothy, we are STILL in Kansas. And it’s as weird as OZ. Check out Bob Cutler’s DISTOPEKA.
You
already know Murder & Mayhem zine… those guys who did the Mykel
Board centerfold. (No genitals shown… and probably for the better.)
Their online version is here.
The
Clean Boys
from Denmark are also longtime friends of mine. In Denmark we
recorded as The
Bend-over Boys.
Only one 10-inch available… but at least now I can say I have a
10-incher!
Finally, for this month, Margaret O’Brien asked me to include the site: anti-war.com They seem to be folks after my own heart. I’m glad they didn’t call it “anti-defense.”
Oh yeah, then there’s me. I have a blog of stuff I’ve written mostly from last century. You might enjoy it. Then again, you might not. It’s here.
Let me know if you have a blog… or a print zine… or a YouTube and want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already seen mine. mykelboard@gmail.com
