Yes, I Ken! or Mykel's Post MRR Blog April 2025

 

You’re STILL Wrong
Mykel's

APRIL 2025 Blog/Column

KENYA? Yes I ken!

Mary Keitany from Kenya won the women's race at the New York City Marathon. You can tell she was fast because guys on the street didn't even have time to finish their catcalls.

                                           – David Letterman

In Kenya you've got the great birds and monkeys leaping through the trees overhead. It's a chance to remember what the world is really like.

– Joanna Lumley

Kenya is an immense land with a capacity for healing.

– Yvonne Adhiambo Owuor

I know it’s April, but I’m not fooling with this one. I skipped a month because of my trip to Kenya… and I want to write about it before I forget. (These days I forget… forget… er… what was I saying?) So no April Fools post this year… Those who follow me on facebook will know some of these adventures. I posted a lot of them, although I’ll do some re-writing for this blog post. 

My trip was quite amazing. And thanks to some Kenyans, I’ve thought things, seen things and done things I’ve never thought, seen or done before. All that with NO SEX. Not that I didn’t have the chance (I’ll write about that later) but I didn’t have the ability! That prostate radiation… well, lemme tell ya. It pushed some wrong buttons. 

But the trip starts in New York, as do many things in the world today. It was a facebook friend request from Alberto (real name, Albert), a fascinating guy. He tells me he’s from Kenya. I tell him the only two things Americans know about Kenya are Barack Obama and the New York Marathon. 

Mentally I have a picture of a country with Obama everywhere. People would carry wallets with Obama’s picture on the front. Wear Obama t-shirts. Carry Obama shopping bags. I’m wrong, but I’ll write about that later.

Albert and I talk politics a bit. The US election is coming up. It’s big news in Kenya. Albert wants my prediction. 

“I think Trump is going to win,” I tell him. “People are tired of the same old shit. But don’t listen to me. My predictions are usually wrong.”

 Albert wants to know more about Donny Trump. I explain that he’s not very popular in America but I think people want a radical change. Trump represents change. Kamala Harris represents a continuation of the same thing. Also a lot of people are angry tht Harris wasn’t chosen by election, but was just given the job as candidate. 

We talk about our countries. I tell him that Kenya isn’t in the news very much here… actually any other country isn’t in the news very much over here, unless there’s a war. I do mention that I read about “tax riots in Nairobi.” And asked him what the story was behind that. Anybody hurt? Who are the good guys and who are the bad guys?

It's all about increase in tax by parliament. Kenya’s president William Ruto rejects and withdraws his own Finance Bill after nationwide protests against over-taxation. The police are using live bullets to shoot at the young generation in Nairobi who are protesting Two people including a child shot dead in Ongata Rongai, Kajiado County during the anti-government protests; 19 others left with gunshot injuries across the country.

Wow!

And the discussions continue. Now, tt’s just after the US election. Results are starting to come in. TV news here has not yet projected a winner. In Kenya, Alberto tells me, they say that Trump won. He shows me a map with a lot of red and a little blue at the right and left edges. 

We talk over a couple of months and then Albert makes what I hoped was a fatal flaw. “If you ever come to Kenya,” he says, “you can stay with me.”

Ah, a free place to stay in an exotic country. Bang! I’m on it. I Google (actually DuckDuckGo) “Kenya” and “punk rock” and find a punk rocker in a band called .Powerslide His name is Willy, and he already knows what it means in English slang. Then I try “Kenya” and “haiku” (if you don’t know my relationship to haiku and Japan send me a private message.) And find a teacher/headmaster in Nairobi who was one of the first people in the world to write haiku in Swahili!!! (See the endnotes for more info on his school.) And the school is in a self-described slum. Wow. Right up my alley. 

So now I’m WhatsApping this crew, asking about the right season to go,  how long they can put me up, if they want “something small” from New York. The punk rocker wants Nietzsche and Far Eastern religion books. The headmaster wants haiku. And Albert wants a cellphone. 

What the hell, I’m going to be sleeping on his floor for a month, a $200 cellphone is two nights in a New York hotel. I get a Samsung at Best Buy. Costs $250 dollars, but that’s less than two weeks in a hotel. The books for the punk rocker I find in the second-hand bookstores in the neighborhood. 

Besides books, I find a great travel agent from Ghana… now in New York. I plan a week in London visiting my very old friends. Then a month in Kenya. A week in Nairobi with the punk rocker. Then two weeks in the countryside with Albert. Then another week back in Nairobi. All the time, as usual, being led by my Willy. 

I take out all the Swahili books and CDs I can find in the library. Since Covid, there have been no late fees on overdue books, and I’ll have a ton of them.  I fall asleep listening to Samahani, bibi. Wehweh unfamamu kiingereza?

Then I scour the streets of Chinatown for NYC t-shirts to use as trinkets for the natives. I look in bookstores for Nietzsche.

For the first week of the trip, I plan to stay in London with Claire Jackson who I met when I was living at the Lin Piao (aka Lin Biao) Commune in London in 1970. Lin Piao, by the way, was a Chinese general who died in a suspicious plane crash after he attempted to assassinate Mao Tse Tung.

Claire and I have kept in touch all these years… and she’s even been to Hicksville to stay with my parents and me in the late 70s. Since then, she’s dumped the boyfriend she was with, and married a Scott named Alistair. I would just miss his 80th birthday party… scheduled a couple weeks before my arrival.

During this time in New York, Kenya is constantly on my mind. Dialogs run through my head as I tell people I’ll be going from London to Kenya.

Of course the answer will be, "Kenya?"

Then I'll say "If possible."

That should get a laugh... or even better, a wrinkled forehead and, when explained, a palm slap against that forehead.

Then come the WhatsApp messages.

“Mykel,” says Albert. “I don’t think you should come to stay with me. We’ve had cattle rustlers here. People were shot. It’s very dangerous. I can come to see you in Nairobi, but it’s too dangerous for you to stay here.”

“Mykel,” says Willy, “I don’t think you’ll be able to stay with me. I live in a tiny apartment with my girlfriend. I’ll be able to find a cheap hotel for you in Nairobi. Around $20 a night. I hope that’s okay.”

Claire and Alistair are still ready for me. They’ll put me up in the former bedroom of their son, who now has his own place. At least something works out. Right?

This is the time… just after Trump’s election… when planes started falling out of the sky. Four crashes in a month. Do I really want to fly to Europe now? At least Gillian at Trinity found me a non-US-based airline to get me to England. British Air will take care of me. Right?

And it works. The flight is on time, and I can tap my credit card to get me on the subway… er… underground that’ll take me close enough to walk.

Before long I’m in familiar territory. Sitting having some beer and a shot of the bourbon I brought from duty free.

 “So,” says Alistair, “what’s the plan?”

"From here I'm going to Kenya," I tell him, waiting to pull the punchline.

"I'm going to the Caribbean," he answers. "Claire's coming with me."

"Jamaica?" I ask.

"No," he answers. "She wanted to go."

[The story of this adventure will continue next month. I might move to substack as my friends all seem to be shifting there. Check out Jim Testa (JimtestaNJ.substack.com) for example.]

See you in hell,

MB

ENDNOTES: [You can contact me on facebook or by email at mykelboard@gmail.com. Through the post office: send those... er... private DVDs..or music or zines... or anything else (legal only!) to: Mykel Board, POB 137, New York, NY 10012-0003. If you like my writing, you can be notified when anything new is available. Send me an email with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. Back blogs and columns are at https://mykelsblog.blogspot.com]

They need it to dept: One of friends in Kenya… the headmaster of a school in Soweto, which he describes as a “slum,” needs funds to buy laptops for the school. I wrote about him above. As you know, if you’re reading this, computer literacy is as important as (more important than?) language literacy in 2025. I know the kids at this school. They are eager learners and great people. I hope you can help. I set up a GoFundMe for the school to buy laptops for student use. Please give whatever you can.

Pimping The Agent Dept: Travel agents are disappearing at rocket speed. The Internet has eaten everything. If you want to deal with a human you’ve got to do a lot of work to track one down. I can and do recommend Gillian at Trinity Travel. You can find her at: https://gillianboateng.inteletravel.com/booktravel.cfm

No details yet dept: You’ve probably read about my arrest for “public indecency.” I’m not going to write about it in detail… but what you’ve read in the papers is probably true. Just like everything else I write in April.

See you in hell redux,
MB

TIME TO READ THIS AGAIN!!

I did a nice interview with The Aither zine. Interesting questions, complete, and questions I’ve never been asked before. You can read it here. It’s a good one.

I read that the search engines like lots of links... and it's also nice to support my friends and enemies in their blogs. So facebook me or email me if you have a blog, webpage or something else to connect to. I add you. You add me.

Here's a start:

Jim Testa is exploring the riches of substack and has posted is blog at: JimtestaNJ.substack.com Jim is a quiet but super important person in the history of punkrock. He does like the Mets more than the Yankees, but we all have our faults. (And he took me to a Mets game!)

Here’s Ricardo Wang with a “micro-label” in Seattle “specializing in 8-track tapes and CDs. WOW! Check out one of their label staples: The Dead Air Fresheners.

Also on bandcamp: My very long time faves in NYC, the BLACKOUT SHOPPERS. Featuring pals Seth and failed vice-president of the US candidate, Charles Bukkake

And a terrific performance piece from Sid Yiddish and his Candy Store Henchmen, with some special guest stars you might recognize. All for WZRD radio.

And this sounds right up Sid’s alley. The Bilderberg Jazz Arkestra on Bandcamp! They wrote to me.

Eric Grayson has an online music review zine, Sobriquet. Full pictures of the sleeves too! Something missing from too many zines. Sometimes you CAN judge a… er… book… by its cover.

Steen Thomsen is a Dane I’ve known ever since Lincoln was shot. I put his band THE ZERO POINT on the great WORLD CLASS PUNK Cassette for ROIR. It must be worth a mint now. I don’t have any left, I’m afraid. You can (and should) connect to the Zero Point on facebook. Tell ‘em Mykel’s blog sent you.

Sorry Dorothy, we are STILL in Kansas. And it’s as weird as OZ. Check out Bob Cutler’s DISTOPEKA.

And for a quiet smile and a much needed break for you and the dog, try G.C. Adams’ YouTube entry.

You already know Murder & Mayhem zine… those guys who did the Mykel Board centerfold. (No genitals shown… and probably for the better.) Their online version is here.

The Clean Boys from Denmark are also longtime friends of mine. In Denmark we recorded as The Bend-over Boys. Only one 10-inch available… but at least now I can say I have a 10-incher!

Margaret O’Brien asked me to include the site: anti-war.com They seem to be folks after my own heart.

Jennifer Blowdryer has just come out with a great book called Music A-Z. Anybody who’s ever played in a band will be able to relate to the drug-addled club rip-off people here. You can order it here… directly from the publisher.

Oh yeah, then there’s me. I have a blog of stuff I’ve written mostly from last century. You might enjoy it. Then again, you might not. It’s here.

Let me know if you have a blog… or a print zine… or a YouTube and want to be added to the list. You show me yours… you’ve already seen mine. god@mykelboard.com